Cheap Visa Out of Cuba!
Lengths To Which The Cuban Lazy Workshy Loafer Will Stoop, In Order To Gain A Visa Out of Cuba
He will home in on you when he spots you in the Casa del la Trova/Bar, restaurant.
Flatter you and tell you you're the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, could you please meet him for a drink tomorrow.He will pay
However it's the only time
he will ever put his hand in his pocket.
Hold you tightly, arms wrapped around you, as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear. Whisper lots of romantic endearments in Spanish (No doubt words from his favourite song).
Explain his round the clock 24 hour availability/ lack of employment as due to his religion.
This of course occupies lots and lots of his time and explains why he cannot support/maintain any of his three illegitimate offsprings by different women, and why he will never has a dime in his pocket.
He will always know of a great casa, far better than anything you can find.
Always cheaper too, way cheaper than anything you will find.
And no he's never on a commission.
It's just that in his preferred, chosen casa he won't have to sign the register.
He always knows the owner and it will save you money.
You can both have 'lots of privacy'. And of course it has nothing at all to do with commission.
He will regale and depress you with lots and lots of hard luck stories all night. How he lost that great job due to not having shoes. His grandfather can't work because of arthritis, can't eat.
How his own home is falling apart and is dire need of roof repairs/painting/plastering, but that would require a spend of at least 100 CUC.
His sister's Quinze (15th b/day), is only a week away and his mom is desperate to scrape together the money to pay for the music, photographer, food, taxis etc etc.
All so gloomy, all so so very depressing.
All of course, a way of eliciting your sympathy your hard earned cash, your posessions, ipod, cellphone, clothing, sneakers.
He will not be happy to sign any register, despite you being the 'love of his life' His 'Amocita" his 'Mujer" potential wife! (yeah right)
The seasoned Jinetero / Con Man never likes to write his name on any police/immigration casa or hotel register.
He will consider instead being a 'Visitante' .
A Visitor, thus ensuring his name does not show up on the Police computer. Because in case you're not a willing participant, then his name is not linked to you, and he can work someone else.
If his name crops up a few times he knows he will be arrested.
Little does he know that in Cuba they are on to him.
(The police know him well as a man who "fraternizes with tourists". :)
They know his address his I.D card No. They even know what colour his underpants are.
He's being watched round the clock. As everyone is in Cuba. You, me everyone.
He never ever wants to leave Cuba. Loves his country.
Oh No! he's never leave. He's a Fidelista. A Socialista. (Yeah Right).
However, he would love to see your country..Sure he would.
But only of course... "Out of Curiosity".
Though he claims poverty, he will surprise you one night when he show up in the latest Puma sports shoes
, and latest England /Italian team t.s.shirt. Snazzy Italian shirt and trousers.
And no they are not regalos, He 'bought them from a friend who has a yuma'.
He "purchased them at a market in Havana".
He will gradually quiz you about your work, living situation. If you have a man.
Why you do not at your age have a man. Do you want to die alone?. Shock Horror!.
Slowly you notice the spontaneity /fun/dancing seeping out of the 'romance'.
He becomes more serious. He's getting much more desperate.
He does not want to go out dancing. He's too well known in all the dance venues, and who knows what yuma could show up last minute.
He does not want any nasty surprises.
He's more than happy however to dine at your expense at your casa/hotel.
He is very selective about the choice of restaurant
. Not for him any old restaurant, he has a preference for seafood, lobster, snapper fish. All on your tab of course
He's concerned that you rarely are hungry at night. Why when you have lots of money do you not want to eat dinner every night?.
He will get very angry if you drop his hand in a tropical rain story to run to your casa.
"Are you No Wanting To Walk Sola" he will shout in disgust.
More concerned at what passers by will think than your desire to get back home to shelter from the torrential rain asap.
That evening he will be all sweetness and light. Does not want to lose you, he only has three days to go, to work on you, elicit every last dime, article of your clothing, your ipod, cellphone if he can work it with the sweet talk.
Now he will be on romance overdrive until you depart for the airport.
But you will gradually begin to see through it for the shallow Bullshit that it truly is. Spot the lies the inconsitencies.
The Cuban workshy lazy loafer may be great actor.
But... his charm and acting skills are no so great that an intelligent Yuma can not spot the shallowness, the deception, the lies.
And you will slowly end up despising him and all that he stands for.