logo for havana-guide.com
leftimage-3col for havana-guide.com
 

Cuba and the Words : I Love You

by Jennifer
(Holland)

I have just read the thread 'More Love Than Common Sense' and it made me think about those three words... 'I Love You'.

Why is it that only in Cuba those words have such a hollow sound. Why do those three words, when uttered by a Cuban instill in you a pressure, a kind of expectation from him that now he's said it you're his 'Mujer', his property?.

We are living in 2010. We study, work, earn our living. We expect our partners to not be a leech or burden upon us.
Most women with a sense of self respect would never maintain a man.
So why is it when a Cuban man tell you those three words in the space of a week do so many women feel insecure, and pressurised as opposed to being overjoyed?.

I'll tell you why. It's because we are listening to our gut instinct which is telling us something is not right.

I am not talking about the sleazy male whores, the players who work the resorts of Varardero, Jibacoa, Guardalavaca, and who change women faster than their change their pants, the guys who own ipods, iphones and the latest brand name clothing.

I'm talking about the regular Cuban guy, living in a small town far from any tourist resort.

You know he has no access to the internet at home, and is on a limited income. yet the emails arrive fast and furious and have a repetitiveness about them. 'Te Quiero Mucho' Te Estranjar' Muchos Bessos' Abrazos, etc. etc.

Usually from different email accounts, with diverse style of writing. So you get to wonder if it's him sitting at the computer, or his friend or family member with access to the net.

When you question this you are met with a sense of outrage that you dare to think that way, that you dare to doubt them, not trust them.

Always the question 'When are You returning'? I miss you so much'.

No information at all about their daily life, friends family work what they did that weekend. When asked it's "Oh just work, played dominos' etc. All very innocent.

The continued proclomatons of ..'Te Quiero Mucho' 'Te Estranjar' can wear very thin after a year.

They put a pressure on you. Do you want to pay for another expensive trip to Cuba, and travelling to a small town and staying independently works out a lot more expensive than a package holiday. Cuba as we all know is not a cheap country for tourists.

They may live with local peso economy. We pay through the nose and with dollars, Euros, or CUC.

When you do return they will always have a casa they have arranged for you, will take you to. You ask in advance, how much and are met with ''O muy Barrato', very cheap.

You ask again. 'Oh 15 cuc' Yet you know there are so many possible nicer recommended casas in the town which you would like to see, check out after all you are paying and know you could negotiate for a fortnight stay.
You also wonder if he could be making a commission, and then feel bad about not trusting them.

After all he has paid to send over a year's worth of emails so would the commission on a casa be a sufficient payback?

These are the thoughts which go through the mind of any woman who has been on the receiving end of those words 'Te Quiero Mucho', 'Te Estranjar'.

And having shared our stories on here is it any wonder that women begin to doubt the sincerity of those words. And why they actually have a hollow ring and place a real sense of pressure as opposed to joy.
COMMENTS by Vic webmaster
Well you can travel to Cuba and stay in an all inclusive hotel and have a beach, sun and fun vacation. This is a cheap vacation that can compete with the Dominican Republic or the Spanish Costas. The majority of the foreign tourists enjoy this kind of vacation in Cuba and there is nothing wrong with this vacations.
Another way to travel to Cuba, is discovering the real Cuban spirit as a traveller not a tourist, this is not easy and requires a lot of research and experience. Learn and read about the sufferings of the Cuban people first under the Spaniards, than dictators such as Batista, the struggle to survive during the 'special period' etc. The perception of the Cubans is that a Yuma (foreigner) will never understand their sufferings. They call it 'INVENTAR su vida' inventing the daily survival. Last time a Cuban said to me when we were eating, do you know that most Cubans while eating think about the question will there be a meal for me tomorrow? So when a traveller goes to Cuba he/she has to learn about sensitivities and practices. It's a long process, I have been cheated and scammed several times.
But I learnt a lot too, I consider the lost money
as a part of my 'Cuban education'. But after years of intensive travels to Cuba I can detect most of the cheating with eyes closed. I recognize the patterns. One rule is don't let the Cuban take the initiative. Don't let them guide you to bar, restaurant, casa, taxi, shop etc. It's your money you are in command. Another rule don't believe anything unless they can proof it with hard facts, make it a habit to check everything, check prices, check your bill in restaurants, bars, taxis etc. Cuba is notorious for shortchanging even in banks. Count your money! Most foreigners make the mistake to trust a Cuban easily. Trust is a precious thing, that has to be built during years. When you go to a foreign country and you meet a person do you trust him/her after a vacation of 14 days? Some people do, and complain about it. Trust is a process of many years. Each time you have to check and re-check your trusted partner. Let me ask you a question, when you are in your home town and you meet a complete stranger, he talks to you and says that he loves you, that you are the one etc. That he want to see you again that, that you have to trust him etc. Do you believe him? Do you trust him? I guess that most people will take it as a joke and leave. But in a foreign country and an other culture some people see it as an acceptable practice.

Comments for Cuba and the Words : I Love You

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 04, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Cuba and the Words NEW
by: Anonymous

Hollowness is not in the word love, but in the heart thinking about it. If you feel a person does not deserve the kind of attention you're giving to him, then it is for good to leave him without any remorse or second thoughts. I have heard from myeditingandwritingservices.com that some of the Cubans do exhibit such kind of behavior but it does not mean that everyone should be blamed. Remember that when the time comes and fate permits you will be filled with the word love and there would be no escape from that bliss.

Oct 11, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
great NEW
by: Anonymous

This is my first time i visit here. I found so many entertaining stuff in your blog, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the leisure here! Keep up the good work. I have been meaning to write something like this on my website and you have given me an idea.http://finance.yahoo.com/news/talk-heart-review-samantha-sandersons-203000038.html

Oct 10, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
great NEW
by: Anonymous

subscriber services The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought you have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention. buy 1 million youtube views

Oct 06, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
GAME HACK NEW
by: Anonymous

cheat top eleven I prefer merely excellent resources - you will see these people in: hack clash of clans gratuit

Feb 25, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
i love you NEW
by: steve

In Cuba the three words I Love You is rare, if it is from the heart. The best way to make this prevent is by love. Love your partner with trust and care. This is what the Cubans are back out ofvisit here. They need to teach the lessons of love.

Jul 20, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Zig Zag Is The Only Sexless Loser on This Forum NEW
by: Anonymous

Zig Zag I feel sorry for you, you sound like a sad lonely old man who has to pay for sex.

You say you bring presents and pay for women. There is a difference between paying for sex and friendship and love.

You do not have to travel long distance for sex, you can purchase it in your own home town.

Or do you fly to Cuba for sex with the 'exotic' which makes you a sad lonely racist.

You generalize about women who vacation in Cuba, a sweeping generalization.

I am neither old or sexless. I am a 30 year old happy woman who loves her work, and who has many friends. I do not fly to Cuba for sex or to find a man, I lead a fulfilled happy life here in Canada.

What I find distasteful is the expectation from some Cuban men that all Yumas are there to be used taken for a ride, conned.

The problem is that many of them have been spoiled by low self esteem women who feel they need to indulge them with expensive gifts.

I find it sad when I see women travel to Havana, Varadero or Guardalavaca weighed down with laptops and cellphone for these male whores. They have created a culture of greed, of con and scam and that is bad.

When I travel to Cuba I stay in casa particulars, I have some lovely friends who go out of their way to be kind and hospitable. They are genuine Cuban people who work hard, and have dignity and self respect.

They are the kind of Cuban you will never encounter Zig Zag in your lonely world of seeking sex which you are expected to pay for.

Remember the best things in life are free, and neither friendship nor love can be bought.




Jul 14, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Relax NEW
by: ZigZig

The women and men who get taken for a ride in Cuba would not even get that much in Canada. They would be single, sexless, lonely losers. (sorry)

I love Cuba, even though I have only been 6 times. I have seen an evolution and progress by Communist/Socialist standards.

If I were Cuban, I would do exactly what they do. I offer you lunch and buy soda pop especially for you and maybe sell you a painting. All this may cost me $3 but you spend $20 on my art.

Sex? Well you silly fools, a decent hooker will cost you at the very least $300 per night. In Cuba, you get love, sex and fake adoration for less than that for a whole week.

If you get suckered, you are a sucker. Geography is irrelevant.

I go to Cuba with gifts specifically to get preferential treatment and trust me, I get it. It's give and take. It is a mutually rewarding experience.

The tourist business aside, I love the food, I love the air, I love the ocean, I love the old. Cuba is like an old post card. I want to step into it...but just for a while.

Aug 09, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
To all Cubans of this post...!
by: Anonymous

Your point is very clear...Cuban people are in need and they expect you to pay...period.

Where I tend to disagree is even though Cuban probably do not know how to manage money...there is a lot of abusive behavior....in the street..especially for a foreigner that got in a relation with a cuban ......let me put it straight
even if you send 200 CUC each month to somebody you love it is NEVER ENOUGH..!

and you see them strolling the street with brand name fashion stuff.....!!

So I believe the main complain here it is NOT about helping CUBANS because any foreigner will do it it is the way that the abuse take place and believe me I live in Miami and I see Even Cubans
living in Miami complaining about never ending request from their own family...

Mar 03, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
No Independence Yet !!
by: Canadian Yuma**

Hello Tony,thank-you for your informative insight into the history of Cuba.
I am by no means' ignorant,but I tell it how I live and see it,I have lived among the Cubano's for a long time.
Please know that a Republic like Cuba that is a Communist represive state and deny's it's populous basic human right's and dignity,and now rely's on imported food by 80% is not at all "INDEPENDENT".
My reference to "Egypt" was to prove that in a total populous unity there is a hope of overthrowing this corrupt barbaric Govn't.
There is a strong underground anti-revolutionary movement happening,and it's only a matter of time before we hear of some popular uprising.
Hunger,pain,despair,can only be tolerated for so long,then all hell will break lose.
I hope every day that my Cuban friend's can finally see the light of day and live like human being's and enjoy all life has to offer.

Mar 03, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
The tragedy is Yuma ignorance about Cuba!
by: tony

Canadian Yuma advocates for a revolt like in Egypt, Libya, Tunesia. Remember history! All leaders in the Arab countries were tolerated and supported by the US governments. Also in Cuba, the US has a long tradition of installing puppet governments.
The US will welcome a revolt in Cuba, so they can again extend their influence on the island. Notice, that the US have driven Cuba into communism by boycotting the entire sugar production and all trade. To survive the Castro's and Cuba were obliged to seek an alliance with the communists in the former Soviet Union.
It's a myth to think that life under Batista was better. Talk to the ordinary Cubans they will confirm that life with the support from the Soviet Union (before the collapse) was much better than under the Batista regime. As an eye opener read the book "REYITA The life of a Black Cuban Woman in the 20th Century" by Daisy Rubiera. The book tells how cruel the life was during the Batista regime, Havana was the whore house and the playground of the rich and the mafia. Cubans were found dead on the streets each day murdered by the Batista police. Even Graham Greene in his book "Our Man in Havana" wrote about the cruel Batista police. Read the book "El Imperio de la Habana" by Enrique Cirules to see how many billions were stolen from Cuba and its population. I am not defending the Castro's, they made mistakes too, but for the first time in it's history Cuba is independent and it pays a huge price for its independence. A high ranking diplomat said about Cuba: few Cubans are communist but every Cuban is prepared to fight and sacrifice for an independent Cuba without foreign domination.

Mar 02, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Hope for Cuba
by: Anonymous

Canadian Yuma:

YES!!!!!!! I'm right with you!!!!

It is truly sad! My family has had to be torn apart! I can still remember as a little girl taking my grandfather to the airport, quietly of course, and not knowing when I would see him again! And also sitting down with my childhood "boyfriend" and telling him that I was leaving the country and didn't know when we would see each other again (he later in his teens came to the US and now is a doctor)! Or how about not seeing my father and grandparents and sister for over 10 years! Or not knowing 2 other siblings I have over there and a nephew! And what about when most of my family came to the states but my aunt and my cousins took so long to get their visa that they got to the US over 10 years after we had! That destroyed my grandmother and my family! This is pain!!!! Family's are forced to part ways so that they can have a better life! I was robbed of growing up with all of my family, on my native land! Don't get me wrong, I am more than grateful to be in the US and be a US citizen and I love the opportunities this country has allowed for me, a university graduate who graduated with honors! Not to mention the fact that I have been able to do the things I'm most passionate about and can freely speak my mind. Things like traveling the world, and studying International Relations! I wish those same opportunities for my Cuban people and wish that we were never put in that position! Sometimes I sit and wonder what my life would've been like if I would've grown up in Cuba! Who would I be? What would my dreams be? I have traveled to over 20 countries and I have an amazing global awareness that most don't get to behold...can you imagine a free soul like me being locked up without the right to travel this earth, the right to express myself!!!! Torture! This is the torture they are going through and it brings tears to my eyes!

I have hope that Cuba will be free and find democracy! Watching Egypt's revolution I could feel their desperation, their anger, their hope and could celebrate their success! I am aware that Cuba is not Egypt and that Egypt enjoys freedoms that the Cuban people have never had and that the people of Cuba live in fear, but nothing is more constant in the world than change! So change will come! I hope I am here to see it!

Thank you for your post!

Peace and Light!

Mar 02, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Cuban Tragedy !
by: Canadian Yuma **

Anonymous,you write with conviction and truth,what I do know about Cuba is Castro started "The Revolution" to oust Fulgencio Batista and to bring a so called "Democracy" to the "Republica de Cuba",the people believed him,and many died for this so called "Democracy".
But we all know to-day it failed miserably,and many are dying and living a hallow life with no future.
As you said what is "Free" health care when there is no medicine,or medical equipment?
What good is a University degree when you have not the right to exploit your education to the whole world and teach them well?
Well my Cuban friend got pregnant with her 2nd child while studying for a Govn't position,when the authoritie's found out they told her to make a choice "either abortion,or you lose your positon and job",since she rely's heavily on this positon for supporting her son and family,she aborted,I stayed up all night with her crying and making sense of this "Corrupt Govn't".
She had no choice,the Govn't said we need dedicated people to work not mother's having responsibility for their kid's".
There is no good side to this,but she was only 2/1/2 month's along,and she had plenty of support from me and her family.
Castro wanted to get rid of prostitution,the key word is "Wanted" but that failed also,for Cuba is the "Capital Island of this Sex Trade'.
Castro wanted to increase farm production,and people are starving under his regime,taking away land from former owner's.
Castro wanted to increase Intelligent Cubano's,but the Lawyer's Doctor's Teacher's,etc;with a degree must sell their body's for a peso to make end's meet.Castro ran state operated "tienda's and the "Black Market" is thriving as we speak.
The sad part is that there is no unity among the populous,they spy on each other to get a few crumb's of bread or an xtra cup of rice,that is the problem,if they would all unite like in 'Egypt" and all storm "Plaza de La Revulucion",Cuba would see a new dawn and a new day.
Well on the positive side most of the Cuban's are fun,good looking,and will go out of their way to help .
Hasta Luego Cuba !

Mar 01, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Cuba, not good then, not better now!
by: Anonymous

Vic (webmaster)

I agree and I disagree with some of your positions. Yes Batista was no good for Cuba, but nothing has hit Cuba like Castro and I think that has been very clear! I don't think Cuba is better off now then it was back then...not at all! And you did not have to be rich to be well off! People were still able to purchase homes, open their own businesses, etc. Yes there was a history of slavery but during those times there was slavery in many countries...matter of fact slavery has been around for hundreds of years! It's a sad reality for the human history in general.

And yes, education and healthcare is supposed to be provided right!? But it is not!!!!! What is education if you are not given the opportunity to exercise your skills and be free to share intellectual conversations without fear of government intervention! The people were tricked! They were told they would have democracy but after Castro put himself in place the people have not been able to choose! And what is free healthcare with no medication or well-equipped facilities! I mean my family has had to send so much medicine and equipment to Cuba it's crazy! And lets not even talk about food and how there isn't any, at least none they can afford! I mean do you know that people traffic eggs!!!! Eggs!!!!

And prostitution! I mean prostitutes in Cuba now need a license!!!!

The one thing I can say is that it brought people together! But poverty tends to do that! Equality!!!? There is no equality in Cuba! The party officers are the only ones with access to the "good" life! You are pressured to attend communist events in your own neighborhoods, if you don't you are told that you are against the regime, you lose your job and your children will not be able to attend a good university!!!

I can go on for days!

And for the record, I have traveled to over 20 countries and I have seen a lot of poverty and oppression but Cuba has it's own complexities, unique to them! Besides the fact that is one of the very few left communist countries, Cubans have faced embargo, loss of family, no access to internet, at one point you couldn't even practice ANY religion! Etc. So yes, their suffering is different, not that is greater than any other suffering because suffering is suffering, but it is different and not understood by those who have not lived it!

Once again...it is hard for anyone to understand unless they have been through it!

Thanks for sharing though....if only they could!


Mar 01, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Sounds like you do get it!
by: Anonymous

Canadian Yuma:
I'm glad that you have had a chance to see what people live through everyday and it seems that you have come to terms with what you are willing to do or not for love...true love that is! I'm glad that you didn't accept the marriage proposal because you were true to your heart!

And I just want to add, Cuban men are beautiful, they are beautiful on the outside and on the inside! They are smart, fun, funny, modern yet traditional, can charm you and dance the night away with you and will do all they can for their families! (of course with men in general you sometimes get a bad apple), unfortunately these Cuban men in Cuba have other struggles to consider when thinking of relationships! But if you women want a Cuban man that is not in Cuba and can take care of you, feel free to come to the lovely city of Miami! ;)

I wish you the best! Peace and Light!

Mar 01, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
I Got it & I Got it well !!
by: Canadian-Yuma **

Anonymous,know that what you have written is a reality that the Cuban's cannot hide from nor is it easy for us to accept.
I have been to Cuba many time's and have learned the hard way to accept this economical hardship's that plague the Cubano's on a daily basis.
When I went back for the 7th time I went solely to help my Cuban friend and his mother.
The first 3 week's on the Isla de La Juventud I lived the Cuban life,it was like you said,"they have no money" period.
My Cubano's sister was using new's paper for her feminine pad's,because the "farmacia" did not get their monthly supply,I was helpless to help because there was no store that was selling them.
I was angry and spoke to the lady at the "farmacia" there,and she said "No es mi problema".
No soap to wash dishes,or clothes,no side walk's,open air small market's selling meat and vegetables that no one can afford.
The house's are still damaged from the last tornado's with little repair's done to them.
I have a some what close relationship with this Cubano,but I refused his marriage proposal because I know it was for the wrong reason,all I did was what I felt good and right for him and his family,I did not over do it ,I bought xmas dinner, a pair of sandal's for his mom and sister,soap,and coffee,for the simple reason I did not want them to think I was buying their friendship,and they took care of me really well,and could not thank me enough for my help.
The stark reality is any one having a relationship with a Cuban must realize that they have nada to offer,you must help them survive in whatever way possible,they are a dignified,suffering people under a Corrupt Communist Govn't.
They say"Do Good and forget it-If you do bad think about it".
I did good and was satisified that I had the opportunity to truly help good people.
"Hasta Luego Cuba"

Feb 26, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
You just don't get it! Part 3
by: Anonymous

Also, you need to start taking some responsibilities for your actions. To be honest it sounds like most of you are very insecure women to begin with who are really needing and enjoying the attention these men are giving you so you go with the flow because maybe it's been a while since someone charmed you the way these Cuban men have! But you have to be smart too! Have a good time, but leave it there!!!! Enjoy them, dance, buy the drinks, spend the nights you want with whomever but don't be dumb and think this is the love of your life!!!! I'm not saying it can't happen, but it's rare!

So, over all I'm not justifying their actions in any way because it's wrong to play with peoples feelings but you ladies need to understand the situation a little more and take responsibility for your actions as well. And remember you can't love someone if you don't understand them!

Good luck.

REMARK by Vic Webmaster
Thanks for your contribution, an excellent description of the situation. Indeed many Cubans have a hard time to survive and they are "inventing" a way out. Their main problem is perception and (mis)information. Cubans think that they are the only people in the world that has to struggle, they don't believe that the living in many countries of Africa, South America etc. is worse. Many Cubans forget that life in Cuba was worse before the Revolution, there was more hunger, prostitution, no education or medical treatment, no ration book etc. Don't get me wrong I am not defending the regime or the Castro's, but the truth is that many Cubans lived like slaves before 1959, only a minority of rich business men lived well in Cuba in the forties and fifties. During the Batista/Mafia era there were over 100,000 "legal" prositutes in Havana alone. And if you really want to help Cubans don't
spend money on jineteras or jineteros. Donate to elder Cubans, people surviving on a pension of 5 or 8 USD per month, some of them even have to sell half of their monthly food ration to stay alive.

Feb 26, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
You just don't get it! Part 2
by: Anonymous

As far as you leaving behind all your stuff, you just don't understand the mentality! I am Cuban, when I've gone to visit my family (and every Cuban knows and understands this) you go knowing you will leave everything behind! As a matter of fact I come back with other people's clothing! And they are not afraid to ask for something they want! This is normal!!!!! Very normal!!! So don't feel cheated if it happens to you! It is normal and expected from all family and friends who travel to the island! As far as you paying for everything, that's also just as normal and expected!!!!! Trust me!!! They don't have money!!!! Do you understand this!!!! They don't have it!!! You do, so you pay! Period!!!! Don't go to Cuba to visit someone if you don't want to pay for anything! This doesn't happen to you because you are a tourist and you think you are being taken advantage of, this is normal! This happens to me with my family and friends and every other Cuban person I know!!! IT IS NORMAL!!!!!!!! You pay for you, your "man" your friends, your family etc! You buy food for the house, pay for the beach house, hotel, cabs, drinks, trips, etc!!!! It is normal!!!!!!! Once in a while, someone will pay for a meal, an ice cream a drink, etc. but you in their eyes are seen as rich! Do you understand! Even if you are not and you worked for those $5000 you took, you have more than they do and that's enough for you to pay for everything! This is what ignorance is...you don't understand the people or how they function and stay alive so you think you are being taken advantage of! Now I'm not saying that they are not tricking you to believe they love you...they are, at least in most cases! They want to leave the country, period!!! But as far as it goes while you are over there and paying for everything and being asked for things, that is normal! Family does it all the time!!! They too don't understand how hard people work to get what they have outside of Cuba, so the ignorance goes both ways! Your feelings have gotten in the way of logic, think of that when you dissect the situation, not just how hurt you are!

Feb 26, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
You just don't get it! Part 1
by: Anonymous

I found this site while I was researching some things about Cuba. I found all your comments super entertaining as I found myself laughing because the problem here is very simple: You Just Don't Get It!!!

First of all, I am a young Cuban woman, I was born there and went to the US when I was 8 years old. If there is one thing I can say is that no one, and I mean no one understands Cuba like Cubans do! As a matter of fact you cannot understand Cuba unless you are Cuban even more, unless you have lived what people live through over there!

There is a reason why these men are acting the way they you, yes it is not right but there is a reason. A reason far beyond your understanding. As a tourist you go to Cuba to enjoy its beaches, it's culture, it's Salsa, etc. and then you leave back to the comforts of your home with little understanding of the daily lives of the people of Cuba. Yes, you see the poverty, the buildings falling apart, but you also see the joy, the dancing and you have heard or read that communism provides many social services and thus they are just fine. I read here that these people are not starving that the government provides soap, etc. for them! Ha!!! You have no idea!

Cuban people are very proud, and they do all they can when visitors come from out of the country to make them feel comfortable, so the little food they have, they will serve, the pig they raise in their yards, they will kill and sacrifice for you! The little savings they have, they will spend on some rice and beans to feed their guests, so you may think oh they are ok! Wrong!!! The corruption in the government have made many in Cuba put moral values aside, so in order to feed their families and get by they have now gone and put their bodies and their moral values aside. It is a very sad thing for me as a Cuban to witness! You don't understand that the clothes you send, some they will keep the other they will sell because it is more important to get the money to buy food or medicine or fix up something in the house, etc. People survive in this country the way no one else does! Inventing! That is survival! They do what they have to do to get by! You will never understand the daily struggles they go through! Not knowing when or from where their next meal will come from, feeling helpless because they don't see a future ahead of them, can't use their very educated brains to open up their own businesses or practice, etc. They are stuck and they do the best they can with what they have, even if that means lying to a real nice woman so that they can survive or have a little fun and enjoy amenities that Cubans in their own land can't! Did you know they can't enter certain markets or hotels?????!!!! Is that not the most disgusting thing! Yet you can!!!!

Nov 29, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Whinner's ??--Not !
by: Silvana Teresa

Hi Anonymous,
I read your post and took it all with a grain of salt.
Please note that most lady's and gentlemen on this thread are not whinning,but simply are posting an unfortunate situation ,which in most case's was unexpected.
Did we get carried away with all the "Amor De Mi Vida"?-yes some of us did,were we sincere when we truly cared for these Cuban's? yes we were.
If we were just "sex tourist's" I don't think any one of us would put our heart's and emotion's into a one night stand.
Did some of us jump the gun to soon,yes we did,some took more losse's than other's,was it justified--NO!
Your post speak's of common sense,but not reality,I was not one to look for marriage,for I crossed that path before and was in a committed relationship for 41 year's,until my hubby passed away.
Am I intelligent? yes-did I almost make a big mistake?-yes,but in my case dignity and common sense prevailed.
In other case's it was for different reason's that they were a victim of "sham marriage's",.
But in all case's we are not whinner's,just human being's trying to cope and understand the nature of how another human being could be so cruel,abusive,and violent,to the very person who love's them and took them to a better way of life,if you have an answer to this question, please post it,---Thank-You,
Silvana Teresa


Nov 29, 2010
Rating
star
Baffled by your attitudes
by: Anonymous

I find it sad to hear you ladies whining about your greedy uncaring Cuban boyfriends -they aren't boyfriends, they're hookers. I'm guessing that you find them appealing because they are telling you everything you want to hear, and because you don't have the unrealistically high expectations of them that you have of the men in your own countries that make you overlook guys back home that would probably be happy to be with you. You are just sex tourists going to third-world country to screw hookers. End of story.

I'm not saying this to judge you, but I think you need to start telling yourselves that you are doing the same thing as the fat bald older men who you see at pools in Cuba with their hot young Cuban girlfriends. They are prostitutes and nothing more. If you can accept that you are a sex tourists screwing Cuban hookers, I guess all power to you, otherwise you need to start looking for love with more of an open heart back home where the guys will see you as a partner, friend, and lover, and someone they might want to spend the rest of their lives with, not just a wallet with legs, which is all the Cuban hustlers see when they look at tourists, and I guarantee you that if these guys made the initial contact with you -- they are hustlers and nothing more.

Nov 06, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
They Are Selfish Pigs!
by: Kirsty

Someone wrote that Cuban men are self centered pigs, and it's true.

They are also very clever. Mine was too clever to sign into the hotel or even the casa with me.

I am not a 64 year old senior. I am a 25 year old attractive brunette who attracts lots of male attention in Cuba and here is Edmonton.

We met four years ago when I visit Cuba with friends.

It's was only after reading the many posts on this great website that I began to look out for the warning signs, and there were many.


I deliberately did not take too many gifts down. He dropped lots of big hints about cellphone, music, ipod etc. all of which I ignored.

He found us a casa and denied he was taking commssion.

Throughout my stay he seemed uptight, moody as though he had another agenda on his mind.

He said he loved his country, however, the casa owner would quiz me about my life in Alberta, my job, how much I earned, my family, and if I had plans to take him there. Questions questions.

All the fun seemed to have vanished. He did not take me out dancing. He would call round, have dinner, drink (always at my expense).

Then we would sit on the balcony (in silence) as he listened (in silence) to music on my ipod. as I sat beside him increasingly bored.

One night I exploded in anger. So you come here to eat, drink, listen to music, when all of the town are out dancing enjoying themselves, you selfish bastard get out of here.

He left like a naughty puppy with his tail between his legs uttering not a word.

It kind of petered out after that.

Sure he's a cute guy, but that it not everything.As someone said earlier, it's as if when you graduate to 'mujer' status the fun dissipates, you are not more than a meal ticket, a walking ATM.

I was so bored, felt I'd been robbed of a vacation when he was around. It was take take and take, and me giving giving giving.

I returned home drained mentally and emotionally and wrote to say I wanted to call it a day.



Nov 03, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
No Obligation !!
by: Silvana Teresa

Hello Celia!.
We have to understand that we are under "no obligation" to buy or supplement anything to any one-especially to Cuban's,who are heavily subsidized by the Castro Regime.
They are whinning leeche's who take cruel advantage of our bleeding heart,hence our down fall.
We have to stop this insanity NOW !.we have to just go there to meet up with our so called friend's and just have Fun & Amore,nada mas.
If our so called friend's seem disappointed in this ,TO-Bad!There are plenty more Cubano's who would love to just hang out and listen to some intelligent conversation,which is very rare among Cuban women.
I would rather have two broken leg's then to have to experience again what I went through,by being taken in by a sub-human race, The Cuban.
Just knowing how they are laughing at our stupidity,make's me wonder how I'm keeping my sanity.
But one thing is for sure,he will not be getting,his gym stuff,watch,lap top,pant's, short's,cell phone,trip's to other province's on my expense,night out at the disco.
This was his latest request list-laughable isn't it ??
Well my friend,we might have lost some dignity,in this process,but we learn from our experience's,not to accept this type of fraudulent behavior.
And the Cubano has lost any kind hope and any chance of having to live with sincere happiness with a woman who truly care's.
Take care my friend,
Silvana Teresa

Nov 03, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
So So True Silvana - Teresa
by: Celia

Wow, every word of your post rings true Silvana.

I too have been conned into handing over most of my clothing, some brand new, prior to leaving. He cheekily told me he reckoned that little lot could fetch in the region of 50 CUC. No shame whatsoever.

And that was not even including the presents I had brought him, a snazzy pair of jeans, an Adidas Top and a long silk skirt for his mother for which she never even said Grazia.

They are nether needy nor hungry. They see us as total mugs. They always sell everything we give them.

We should turn the tables on them and go there to sell our own stuff. In fact I did manage to sell a pair of shorts in Guardalavaca for 10 CUC. I felt please with myself. I knew they had the money, they ran successful stall of Che memorabilia.

My creep is out for what he can get. He was turned when I turned down his marriage proposal. Looked at me as though I was mad. As if to say 'how could I turn down such a catch'?.

The fact he lied about having children was the first red flag. The fact he lied to me that both mothers were now married was another red flag. The fact he told a mutual friend I was 'Muy Rico' told me a lot about his character and shocked me.

I was told by someone who knew him that he does not even live in the ramshackle hovel he took me to. He lives with a Cuban woman who has kids.

I am not sure if this is true as he denied it saying they were jealous and trying to break us up.
But you know what? I now could not care either way.

Good Riddance I say. I put it down to a lesson learned and I move on.

He will get his cumupance one day.
Rogues and liars always do.






Nov 03, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Fraud -Deception- Heartbreak.
by: Silvana Teresa

Let it be known that anybody that bring's clothe's etc.to Cuba and think's that they are appreciated you are a fool.
Been there many time's the second time I went and brought camouflage capri pant's {5 pair's} to the girl's who worked at the casa,I paid $9.00 a pair in a summer clearance store,reg.price-$29.00.
When I returned it was like where are my pant's?I distributed them and they seemed ok.
On the third day I was walking in LaRampa and seen a girl which I did not know and asked her about her nice capri's and asked her where she got them,she said a woman was selling them for 3 cuc's and all sold out.-Lesson learned!!
Soap's and all other toiletrie's are sold on the black market.
THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT STARVING AND ARE PROVIDED BASIC NECESSITIE'S,SOAP SHAMPOO ET..
Now I'm on a roll,a woman came up to me and asked me for milk money for her 3 year old child,I said look stupid,I know that Castro subsidize's milk for 7 year's for a child,in Canada we have to buy owr own from day one,so go con your Govn't,not me.
The look on her face was pricless,we have to stop being bleeding heart's for these people.
We women no matter what our status are looking for the same man ,with respect,honesty,dignity,protection, and companionship.
This man does not exist in CUBA!and hardly any where else.
Yes I went back,because my Cubano gave me a personal option I took it willingly and felt alive again,but never would I bring him here.
I was supposed to return this month to see him,but because I told him I would not be giving him money he has not contacted me for over a week.
So lady's if you meet a hot Cubano play their game use protection and enjoy fantastic intimacy,then send them back to their mother's.Payback is a bitch as they say.
Been there done that,last time I even brought back chocolate bar's that were not consummed,left absolutely NADA A NUNCA PERSONA.
Silvana Teresa,Ciao!

Nov 03, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
They Are Liars. I feel I have been conned.
by: Anonymous

I met me friend in Camaguey last year. As it is not a particularly tourist town or resort I thought he was genuine.

He asked me for nothing. One night he even bought the drinks. He won me over. He did not try to enter my casa or put pressure on me to have sex.

He emailed me for a year, twice a week. It was the usual 'te quero mucho te amo te estrajar mucho' etc. He kept asking me when I would be returning.

I finally did return last month and saw a different side to him. I do not know if this is his true side or perhaps he has found someone else. He was shocked I had not brought him a phone, did not like the gifts I had brought him.

Not the right style etc. Annoyed when I was not eating at the casa every night. No doubt he had it in mind to join me.

The casa owner told me he had said to her. "I do not know why she is not eating. She has plenty of money". What a cheek!

I just did not feel hungry most nights. The heat and humidity ensured I had no appetite.

He asked me to marry him. I said no, I did not believe in it. He sarcastically then said.."You will die alone. I hear men in Canada like younger women".

I am 30, hardly over the hill.

The change of character stunned me. He was not the same man I met last year. He managed to get round me to leave most of my clothes and personal stuff, sneakers, thermos. Brand new clothes I had never worn.

He kept on about how the funds from the sale could buy a cellphone. He thanked me and promised to come to the airport next day to say good bye.

He never showed up.

Nov 02, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
How True!
by: Silvana Teresa

Jennifer,you are correct it is fraud and deception,then why do we fall into the same trap?Thank God he got none of those items and my common sense overruled my heart.When I questioned him about the puta incident he said the girls were trying to solicit money from them and he told them to go away---bullshit!
But like you said if these scum bag's get really desperate Cuba will get to be like the Dominican Republic.
We can either boycott Cuba and send a message to their tourist agency about all this theiving fraud,but they already know about it.
Or simply stay away altogether,or go there and just enjoy one night stand's and have fun,leave our "heart's at home" and give them a taste of their own medicine.
But as long as more innocent women fall into this mud hole and not complain about it,thing's will not change.
Thank -God my financial instinc's worked and I protected well my life and saving's,made all my money back with good investment's,and I am enjoying peace of mind.Out of $10,000.00 for 5 trip's including everything from food to transportation to souvenier's and flight I spent a total of approx.$1,500.00,on him,but most went to disco's and food and eatout's which he paid for so all in all it was an experience in life.
I learned to perfect salsa dancing,improved my basic Spanish,and he did guide me through the most beautiful Island in the world.
Silvana Teresa--Ciao!

Nov 02, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
For Sure It's Fraud and Deception.
by: Jennifer

Sylvana you ask if this is fraud when he asks you to buy him a gold chain, computer, DVD, a trip to Europe.

Well if he is not being sincere, not really in love, from the heart, then it is deception and yes fraud.

Because he is trying to elicit material things and money from you with sweet words, when he does not mean them. Then you see him out with his Putas spending your money.

That is what I am talking about.

How can someone be in love with a person when they are tricking and deceiving.

I think women can learn a lot from this website. We need to find a place in Cuba where we can name and shame the con men, the Jiniteros and Jiniteras who prey on the tourists.

Because fraudsters like them are really not doing Cuba any favours. Not at all. Not helping the image of Cuba as a wholesome holiday destination.

The Jiniteros spoil it for the rest of the decent Cubans who get labelled with the same nasty stain of deception and trickery, and they are not all the same.

Scumbags like those give Cuba a real bad name and hurt their tourism.

Because if enough women are conned, deceived we will not go back there.

You have been hurt. How many more women have been hurt also.

Before long we will see Cuba as corrupt and dangerous as the Dominican Republic which is an awful place and a dangerous place for women.

At least Cuba is not as dangerous as the DR.

But if enough con men use deception to elicit money and clothing and phones, then tourist will not see Cuba as a good place to visit.

We will see it as a Rogue's paradise as corrupt as the D.R.full of lazy parasitic men out to play and con the tourist woman.

Nov 02, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Fraud?????
by: Silvana Teresa

Jennifer you are so on to the game's these Cuban's play-male and female.
On my second visit there he wanted me to buy him a gold chain,ring,braclet,computer,clothe's i pod,dvd player and a tv,to marry him and then a 2 month trip to Europe.
I was so appalled I lost my concentration on breathing!he asked me to think about it,and if this was ok!
Now he did this in front of his friend Pedro,who had the jewellery with him,I flatly said no and went out.Is this fraud no because asking for thing's is not a crime.
But if I was threatened or forced it would be different,but no one was holding a gun to my head.
The next day at the beach he barely spoke to me,I walked alone by the shore,a Cubana asked me why I looked so sad,I sort of tried to explain,and she said,"tu hombre es un puerco chulo"-a gigolo pig"
I left my Cuban for that reason they treat us bad and go hounding innocent tourist's,she hugged me and went on her way.
I had lost all hope of having a relationship with this man,I put so much emotional effort into it,that I could not think straight any more.
Get this he also told me that if I was not ready to give him all that he desire's,then there was no use for us to be together.
He said that he was asking nothing compared to his other friend's who had Yuma's!!
Well I thanked him for everything that he wasn't kept my cool,came back home.
6 month's later he contacted me saying what an idiot he was and all I said was to call me back when he grow's up.
Take care my friend,Silvana Teresa--Ciao!

Nov 02, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
However You `Look At It- It's Fraud and Deception
by: Jennifer

Very few Cuban romances are for real.

Let's face it they are relentless in their pursuit of us.

.And not for the love of us, but for how they can play us and get us to fall for them so they can use us to extract all they can out of us.

By any other name that is fraud.

It's deception and there really should be a place where the out and out fraudsters can be reported.

His mug shot posted, named and shamed to whatever power deals with such scumbags, tourist police, whomsoever.

Because ladies, it is not the cost of the pair of jeans, the sneakers, the cellphone the shirts.

It;s the outlay of the cost of getting there.

Many women would not be travelling to Cuba were it not for the continual flow of emails with their declarations of love, amore, how much they are missing you etc.

All of this when you look at it in the cold light of day is actually deception, fraud, lies. The real motive if they were honest is to get you to bring them as much as you feasibly can carry so they can immediately sell it.

Ladies wake up!!.

Those hustlers are very well fed. Very well educated. They are playing you as well as their Cuban novias.

The are in fact scheming Bastards many of whom are to lazy to haul their lazy assess out of bed each day for 12 cuc a month.

I wake up early each day to work, I pay my taxes. I pay a huge amount to go to Cuba. Why should I fill my suitcase with stuff for a Cuban user/parasite.

Most, the majority of them are parasites, using us, playing us, trying to extract our sympathy.

If I return and find out mine has a woman, is conning me playing me I will do all within my power to shop the bastard to whomever the powers that be.

I will have him watched, observed, and if he is playing Yumas he needs to be prosecuted.

Because that is after al nothing less than

Fraud,
Theft by Deception
Extortion
Confidence Tricking

in every other country in the world.

Why because it's Cuba should the bastards get away with it??


Nov 02, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Very True!
by: Jennifer

You are so right Silvana. They treat their own gals worse than they treat us.

We have to be tough. Stand firm. I did not hand over my cellphone despite all the hints about 'communication'.

I found my man to be very attractive but I honestly cannot say I fell in love with him.

I am curious about what game he is playing. What route he is going down.

If he thinks this Yuma is going to return laden down with excess baggage of clothing, regalos, ipods then hey, he is barking up the wrong tree.

I told him many many times if he is looking for a woman to maintain him he should find another Yuma.

Because I do not believe that Love has a price tag. Love cannot be purchased. Not in Europe The States Cuba or Canada.

Love is not for sale, and should not, cannot be purchased.




Nov 02, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Visual Emotion's
by: Silvana Teresa

I have to back track here a bit,when I first met this Cuban,I was in shock for he had the same feature's,the same walk, the full round beautiful face,that soft spoken voice that would melt your heart,just like my late husband's,so I was blinded by this resemblance and it showed.
Bad move on my part he seen this raw emotion and worked it.My late husband was from Venezuela and hence similar feature's!
So on a star studded night with soft wave's moving behind us in Cayo- Largo I threw caution to the wind and accepted his embrace when this man kissed me for the time , I knew this was it.
Well it was not,for when his true colour's came to light it was over.
My advice is if you are attracted to a man never ever tell him you love or have felling's for him unless he expresse's it first and the relationship is on solid ground,if you show any affection toward's men especially Cuban's they will play you and treat you worse then how they treat their own...Lesson learned---Bueno Si !!

Nov 02, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Silvana This Should Be a Film Script!
by: Jennifer

Silvana you write so vividly. You have to turn this angst this history into a story, a script. You write so well. Why let the misery (and joy) go to waste. Utilise it. It could be profitable. And most certainly catahartic.

Mine hinted heavily about the need for a cell. so we could communicate. He even used blackmail as JI departed with the words 'No 'Hablamos Mas' Why? I asked shocked?. Because I have no cellphone and everyone reads emails besides I've run out of people to send emails.

I did'nt tell him I had my cell with me, nearly did but something told me it was not wise, hang on to it.

My Casa lady (Inspectress Clouseau if ever there was one) did a police check on him.

Her buddy works close to or with access to Immigration.

No, he had never signed into a casa with a yuma, no criminal record. So far so good.

However he says the reason he did not want to sign the register was because he 'was not sure of me'. Ho hum!.

Well he did email me, lots of emails.We will see how it goes. I have no intention of bringing him here, I've seen how it never works out.

They always miss home, rarely settle in a cold climate. Like a duck out of water. They never truly leave Cuba in spirit or soul.

Hence they cheat, behave like asses. This is what I have seen happen to women who have been foolish enough to bring their partners here.

So time will tell. If it does not work out it's not the end of the world.

I care for him but I am not letting my guard down.

Let's say I am wary. This website has been an eye opened. An education. All of us ladies are doubly cautious now.




Nov 02, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
EL Celular!
by: Silvana Teresa

Well Jennifer when I returned there the 3rd time I purchased a cell phone for my own use,and let him borrow it,it was cheaper then collect call's to my family and they also had a number to keep in touch.
But I knew that this cell would not work in Canada so I decided to let him use it,he paid for his own calling card.
Well when I went back again I had asked for my cell back I needed to call family,he gave me the cell grumbling and left.
Next thing I know I pushed the wrong key and pornography image's showed,and then all the call's he made to his puta's,wow I was laughing and crying at the same time.
When he came back he deleted everything and told me with no emotion what's so ever "what did you expect"
With patience I said keep the phone you need it more then me--have fun,he took me in his arm's and cried so hard we both broke down.I felt the presense of my late husband trying to console us both,after that he got a bit better.
Now he is after my Blackberry-say's he cannot receive text's message's on his cell.
I told him even though I have some feeling's left,they are not worth $500.00---lol-have not heard from him since--go figure!
Silvana Teresa--Ciao!

Nov 02, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Women Have To Stand Firm
by: Jennifer

Well said Silvana, and good for you!,

We ladies have to be strong and stand up to those con men players. They try it on.

When I first met my friend 18 months ago his parting words were to return 'with lots of money'.

He hinted at how much he wanted a cellphone so we could communicate.

However, I think that is a classic line, from what I have read on here.

He was clever enough not to ask me for anything.

I think the very clever ones rarely do ask. They will drop hints, start talking about how they lost a great job through wearing flip flops, not having shoes.

They try to elicit sympathy.

He told me his family is poor. But he look well fed to me capable of work.

He does work but earns a pittance. However I do not believe in sending money or bringing expensive gifts.

Love should not, does not have a price tag.

It never ceases to amaze me how some women travel to Cuba laden with gifts.


I witnessed a Canadian lady bring down a brand new baby buggy for his latest offspring, and a mountain of clothing for her Cuban friend.

I doubt her kindness was even appreciated. It's as if it's expected.

Canadian lades have a kind heart and kinder soul.

Unfortunately, it's all too often abused by the very greedy selfish Cuban men.


Nov 02, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
No comfort
by: Silvana Teresa

Hi Jennifer,thank-you for your response,the Cuban I knew is 34 yr's old,but I caught him in so many lie's I said enough is enough.
But there is little comfort in trying to heal a heart and brain that has been tortured with raw emotion,by a person who has no feeling's for anyone not even for his own son.
But on the brighter side I'm coping better each day and am going on with my life.
He recently e-mailed me wanting $150.00 to start a pig farm,I told him to hire his girlfriend's for this,and no woman with dignity would send a Cubano money.
Well any way I hope you have a better experience.
Take care,
Silvana Teresa-Ciao!

Nov 01, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
O my que pasa??
by: Silvana Teresa

Re: "I totally agree with you Grace by:
Jennifer Sept./16.10
Hello there! my name is Silvana and when I read your Cuban's letter I was in total shock,believe it or not I have the same letter word for word.
When I told my Cubano that I had to change my flight date he told me that if I did not arrive on time he had someone else waiting on the side for him.
So I told him to go ahead and call this other girl,then he send's me the same e-mail he sent you,is this coincidence,or just freaky??
My Cuban want's out real bad and he would marry a frog to get out preferably,"Canadian frog"lol.
But any way his name start's with an A and live's on La Isla has 2 son's and many puta's,I finally let him go,so be careful.He also has many work place's.---take care!





Sep 24, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
I'll Be Thinking Of You On Tuesday!
by: Jennifer

And toasting your holiday with a glass of wine (wish it was a Mojito) as you fly to Cuba to see your lovely man.

You'll be escaping the rainy grey weather we've had in Europe. I hope you have a wonderful holiday filled with many happy days.

I do know what you mean about the genuine ones. I met mine at a street party on a Saturday night. He did not have that hustler look in his eyes.

He was simply enjoying the music with a group of friends and he caught my eye, and he has kind eyes. Not a smoothie, nofr drop dead gorgeous, but attractive and with a great smile.

We started to chat and saw each other every night until I left. We have a lot in common, share a similar outlook on life. He has a spiritual quality and has never asked me for anything. He's a man with dignity who does not chase tourists.

The only problems we've had was the sense of pushiness I felt from the emails sent via Dr.xxx and his wife.

However when I sent him copes he told me he had not written particular words nor suggested the casas.
He now writes to me via another friend and the tone is totally different.

When I return I will see how it goes. I am not jumping into anything.

From the outset I told him I will never marry, or fly a man out of Cuba. It rarely works out when they live abroad. Adapting to life outside of Cuba is full of setbacks.
Who knows if it lasts I may consider living there eventually. There are lot worse places in the world :).

So I'll be toasting you on that plane on Tuesday and sending out positive vibes that you'll have the most fabulous time in Cuba!.


Sep 22, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Not long now jenni for me
by: GRACE

Hi jenni, I will be going to cuba to see my darling in about 5 days, and he is so excited, and tbh so am I.

I know I say all these things about scams/jinteros etc, but deep down I know I have a genuine one
Its been nearly 6 years, and I know he could go with someone else who has a lot more to offer, and TBH, I will never know if he has, the same as he does not know if I am faithfull or playing a game.

Like I said before, I have turned up unexpectely, maybe trying to catch him out, but in all honesty I havent, but I am still not silly enough to think........, But thats because the Cubans have such a bad name, and I know I keep on about it, but there are a lot more worse countries than Cuba.

The thing is, we get on so well, we laugh, dance, take the pi55 out of each other, we really are as one, we are so well suited, its unbelievable, but there is a part of me that thinks (only because of the stuff I have read over the years) that it wont last, but then when I think of it, I am not a sad 50 year old, and he is not a young 25 year old, we are very much the same age.

I do love him, but I have to hold myself back and pretend, and act nonchelant (spelling) but I should know after 6 years the score, but I am still wary of him, again I blame on it on what I read, plus what he thought he could get away with in the beginning with me....

Thats why I admire you, as you are very much like me, (sounds bigheaded, but dont mean to be) you will not take any XXXX

Sep 21, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Not Many Days To Go Now Grace!
by: Jennifer

Grace you do not have many days to go before you fly to Cuba!

How exciting? Have you done your packing yet?. I'll bet you packed weeks ago :).

Are you flying to Havana?.

I hear that Virgin are the fun to fly with, and they offer free drinks in economy lol!, though they are a bit more expensive.

I've got a good deal with KLM for the second week in November.

Can't wait!

Have a wonderful time, have lots of fun. Please do tell us who it went.

I hope he likes those Che t.shirts :).

Sep 16, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
The English Translation
by: Jennifer

English Translation)....

Thanks to Yahoo translate (not great but at least I can read what he is saying)


Hello my darling how are you?, I am saddened and pained by what happened, please I do not want any more problems I ask a favor.

My love do not worry I've solved the whole problem, my love I could not sleep thinking about all this.

I'm a little calmer now thanks to God, we just want to talk about what is important, that I, my love I have great faith and you know I am not interested in the gossip nor do I want anyone's life, I just want health and prosperity for all people, personally mine is peace and love.

Baby I want you to know something no one and nothing in this life will separate us, we very much and we were born for each other, do not want you to take on anyone, I do not believe me, bad for you that your dear love will never deceive you, much less use you.

I dedicate myself to anything like that , Jeni you are very sweet and sincere.

Precious counting the days to be near you to discuss the sea, dancing all night,

Jeni I do not want to spend more problems between us.

 Kisses miss you a lot.


Sep 16, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
I Totally Agree with you Grace.
by: Jennifer

Grace I have to agree with what you say.

Having read through the pages of sad stories, the scams, the heartbreak, it is easy to be very cynical.

But we cannot generalise and tar all Cubans as scammers and cheats and hustlers on a mission to find a Yuma as a mean to escape.

It is so easy to think that way. I have known my boyfriend for almost two years now. I would say it has not been plain sailing. But I have hung in there. Despite it feeling like the realtionship was like doing 10 round with Tyson. Not because of his actions but the interfering people who want to break us up. I have posted at length on another page on how these nasty people have interfered.

This week I honestly thought they had succeed and we were history.

Today I received this lovely genuine email from him which I want to show you, so you can believe that true love does in fact exist in Cuba despite the odds. You can win through if you believe in each other and hang in there.

Hola mi amor como estas?.

Yo estoy muy triste y dolido por todo lo que paso, por favor no quiero mas problemas te lo pido de favor.

Mi amor, no te preocupes yo he resuelto todo este problema, mi amor no podía dormir pensando en todo eso, ya estoy un poco mas tranquilo gracias a dios, solo quiero hablar de nosotros que es lo importante, eso pienso.

Mi amor tengo mucha fe y usted lo sabe no me dedico al chisme ni me interesa la vida de nadie, solo quiero salud y prosperidad para todas las personas, lo mío en lo personal es paz y amor, cariño quiero que sepas algo nada ni nadie en esta vida nos va a separar, nosotros nos queremos mucho y nacimos el uno para el otro, no quiero que te lleves por nadie, no quiero mal para usted créame que tu querido amor nunca te va a engañar y mucho menos utilizarte, no me dedico a nada de eso, Jeni eres muy dulce y sincera.

Preciosa cuento los días por estar junto a usted para conversar frente al mar, bailar toda la noche, etc.

Jeni no quiero que pasen mas problemas entre nosotros.

Besos te extraño mucho.





Sep 14, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Oooooh anon
by: Grace

Oh dear, I am wounded anon, I thought mi amor was the genuine artical ;-)

Seriously I do know what your saying, and I applaud you for being honest and coming on here to say it.
But! and its a Big But!!, we do not wake up one morning and say to ourselves, 'lets go to Cuba or a poor/controversial country and find a man, or woman', it just happens, specially when you are definately not looking for it.

You, or others may think that Cuba has the monolopy on scammers, wasters, users and the like, but thats wrong, honestly, there are worse countries than Cuba, I have been to them.
There are other sites of different nationalities that say exactly the same, and worse.

Even in my own country and I daresay in other western countries there are scammers/wasters etc, but is that more accepted because they come from a western country?, no of course not, and yet, our wasters are much better off than others from the poorer countries.
If we, women or men, were thinking we were going to get burned, then there is plenty of losers in our own western countries.

When you meet someone in Cuba, or any other poor country, (unless you have read the stories on here), then you genuinly do not know the score, you havent a clue of the game they are playing, and I still say that there is some genuine ones, but unfortunately, there is more heartbroken stories than successful ones.

Sep 13, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
dont be fooled.
by: Anonymous

I will give you guys my opinion. I am cuban but left 15 years ago. Now I am thinking of returning soon and I know that although I am cuban myself I suspect i will encounter this type of approaches. I understand it might be hard for some people to find a partner but why do some go all the way to a strange and so different culture to find love? Even if you didn't go for that reason, why to hold a virtual relationship with someone from such a foreign and controversial country. Cuban man in general are womanizers and it is their nature to smooth talk any pretty woman or in this case any potentially rich woman. Life is short and we should not have doubts in our minds regarding our relationships. DO not be fooled, alhtough I understand their realities are though and maybe you under their circumstances would do the same, but i feel like there is no business for anyone to start a relationship in any cubans. Most likely it wont be real and please dont even wanted to be real.

Sep 01, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Reply to Anon
by: grace

I dont think you being American makes a difference TBH, but any woman who is western and has a pulse, plus a decent bank account, and if your attractive, good figure, then they have won the lottery lol.
I am english, and live further away than you, but canada is nearer, therefore there are more canadians go to cuba than english or americans.
What you have to understand is that they all sing from the same hymn book lol, someone somewhere down the line has told these men the script, obviously they all go to the same acting school, so instead of adding thier own twist to it, the silly fools say the same thing, thinking that is what we want to hear, but when you hear it over and over, it just gets very boring.

They havent the mentality to just let things tick along, as they are too impatient, they want to woo you, and they can woo you,they are very good at wooing you, as of course they have an ulterior motive, but they havent a clue that websites like these exist, so they just go along saying the same old same old.....

I have tried to explain to my 'fren' last time I saw him what is being said on the internet, how we, the western women are wise to thier chat up lines, and all the karp that comes with it, and the look of shock on his face was delight,(oscar nomination) so I will be printing off some stories from here,( as he does not believe me) and taking them over to let him know and tell his other 'frens' that there are sites that give good information, and that they must find a better teacher lol

Comments by Vic

Sorry to disturb you, it's right what you said, but most of us underestimate the big gap between the Latin culture and our Western culture. Cubans use "love words" and compliments on every occasion, not only towards foreigners, it's in their genes. In Cuba it's something named Piropos, when a Cuban meets a woman on the streets, in a bar etc., it's a (Latin) habit to show your appreciation by making some kind remarks a sort of flirtation and (most)Cuban women like it and respond by smiling. Cubans frequently use the words, Amor (love,darling), linda (beauty) Guapo (good looking) etc. as part of the daily conversations and not with the same meaning Western people use these words. To address a waitress in Cuba, it's normal to call her "Linda" (beauty) in the Western world it has another connotation. The words "niña" (my little child) and "mami" (mam) are also frequently used and are words of kindness, instead of their real meaning.
Most of the Cubans use this "love words" among other Cubans too, but they all know that it's part of their daily social life, and nobody will attribute a different connotation.

Aug 18, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Their Emails reveal little about their daily lives.
by: Jennifer

You're right Grace, they reveal little or nothing about their daily lives.


For example when we write to each other we in Europe reveal what we have been up to day to day. Little thing that make up the rich tapestry of life, regardless of how silly.

For me a letter or email to a friend is chatty informative and packed with little details.

The emails I receive from him are formulaic, always 'Te Quiero Mucho' always 'Te Estranjar' always 'Bessos' and always Abrasos.

You get to wonder if they are taught those words in school, as a revolutionary way to hook in a Yuma.

I can tell you Grace the words wear thin. Proclomations of love without the essence of real life as we know it tends to lose any sense of profundity. They become just sterile words.

Long distance romance either fizzles out in time if you do not have the actual contact, and maintaining that real life contact can be very expensive.


Aug 18, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Reply to jennifer
by: grace

Hi again jennifer.
You wrote... 'No information at all about their daily life, friends family work what they did that weekend.....

It does make you wonder that there is no information, you dont know anything about them, they dont volounteer any info, except in a way to cover themselves.

For example...., 'my mother is ill, very very sick, I have to go and be with her', which is lovely and admirable, but then you wonder why they have been gone for 4 weeks, come back to where they work and live for a couple of weeks, then go back again to visit thier mother again for another 4 weeks....

Now, I know we all want to spend time with our mothers, but for goodness sake, 4 weeks???, how much conversation can you have you with your mother every 4 weeks, so, the brain starts ticking.... Uhm, perhaps they are not just visiting thier mother.
We, in the western world cannot comprehend the closeness cubans have towards 'family', but because they do not volunteer information, or you have to give the impression of a dentist extracting teeth, they wont tell you nada, and they wonder why thier Yumas are suspicious???.

Aug 18, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Reply to jennifer
by: grace

Hi again jennifer.
You wrote... 'No information at all about their daily life, friends family work what they did that weekend.....

It does make you wonder that there is no information, you dont know anything about them, they don't volunteer any info, except in a way to cover themselves.

For example...., 'my mother is ill, very very sick, I have to go and be with her', which is lovely and admirable, but then you wonder why they have been gone for 4 weeks, come back to where they work and live for a couple of weeks, then go back again to visit thier mother again for another 4 weeks....

Now, I know we all want to spend time with our mothers, but for goodness sake, 4 weeks???, how much conversation can you have you with your mother every 4 weeks, so, the brain starts ticking.... Uhm, perhaps they are not just visiting thier mother.
We, in the western world cannot comprehend the closeness cubans have towards 'family', but because they do not volunteer information, or you have to give the impression of a dentist extracting teeth, they wont tell you nada, and they wonder why thier Yumas are suspicious???.

Aug 18, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
So True!
by: Jennifer

You're right Vic most of us would walk away if a man told us he loved us in the space of a fortnight.

However most women who post here will also tell you incredibly manipulative they are.

You really need to invent an an iron cast will of armour to withstand their incredible forcefulness of their steely will, their manipulativeness.

You have be one step ahead. It's easy to get swept along, until one day you think, what the hell is this all about. Is this what I want?. What am I going to gain, and what's in it for him?.

They have scant regard for the thousands of miles we fly to get there, then there is the added cost of the coaches, or domestic light and acommodation.

I have taken your advice and booked a week in an a/inclusive to relax chill in the sun.

Then I will catch a bus or truck to Mayari and closely observe his every move, read between the lines.

I will not be throwing money around, I am on a budget and have told him so.

I am no fool, I've travelled the length and breadth of the island, I am no tourist, I've travelled by camione as well, even hitched and I understand Spanish, not slang.

So I am pretty switched on. An easy Yuma I certainly am not.

I think between my ears not my legs!.

I will keep you posted Vic, and thanks again for your invaluable advice.
COMMENTS by Vic
Thanks for your kind words, Jennifer! One of the problems is that many yumas feel a bit guilty and some Cubans (not all) take advantage of that feeling, but after all it's your money. say STOP when they ask for more. For the jineteros with the cellphones and designer clothing there is no enough. I only give to real poor people and they are happy with 2 or 3 Cuc. Never ask for more. I been hugged and kissed by an old lady because I gave her 2 cuc. The 2 cuc was a fortune to her.
With a pension of 6-7 cuc it really is.
After I went she was yelling Gracias Señor, gracias I will pray for you.
That's Cuba too!







Click here to add your own comments

Return to Love in Cuba .


footer for Havana-guide page