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Cuban Love and Life

by Guabo
(Playa del Carmen)

Our REVOLUTION is Manipulated
our LOVE is no different

Over 15 yrs in & out of Cuba & relationships with Cubans.
I have spent 8 yrs of that 13 living in Cuba.
Got married in 1999 to a child, I was 29 she was 18 (yes a Jinetera!!!) did she Love me ? Yes & she still does (so her dear mother claims & I tend to believe), but it's not what you imagine. It was HELL painful, gut wrenching, sad, obsessive & almost resulted in death.

I bought her to my country of residence in 2000 we separated indefinitely in early 2002, by 2003 she was working in a very physical professional manner (no need to spell it out). We each attempted divorce several times but we really did not even speak from 2004 to 2011 so nothing eventuated & we are still married.

I always made an effort to visit her mother & aunties in Cuba, we have good relationship that feels very much like my amily. While all that time passed I have had 3 serious LT relationships with Cubana's, one of which, resulted in a Son. Who is my only reason for life. 2011 in Cuba I finally sat down with my Wife EX of 11 years, we talked for hours & she told me how much she appreciated all I had done for her.
It felt good it felt like closure, we are now friends. Financially she has fare'd very well considering & certainly 100x better than my meager hand to mouth existence. She has bought houses for her mother & aunty and has also bought a business in Cuba.

After separating I anguished at weather I should continue to facilitate her residency or get her sent home. I decide the most painful & illogical route, I kept on the case until she had her residency. In which time she bought me a whole lot of drama & embarasment, not to mention some financial woes. She frequents Cuba as often as me & was coincidently arriving the same day I was to her province this year. That's how we talked.

I feel all my anguish & pain all the stress & suffering has paid off, peoples lives have improved immensely.

Now it's not all roses, she is still the same person a Crazy Cubana loud, life of the party cronic drinking, smoking, sex crazed, nympho with issues. BUT she siezed opportunity the best way she knew how and has made a huge impact on the lives of not just her family but all the hangers on that she supports in Cuba. IT'S as if she is now the YUMA. (actually she has the same BS experience as we do, must be the money)

Her & her family have never stolen from me (less a few mechanics on the real price of things)

My Babies mother however, stole stupid shit & a lot of money in bits and pieces. She's a good mother but is influenced by many (the real problem facing genuine Cubans) The other 2 a Doctor who was genuine with me for several years only to change tact when a smooth talking mongoloid from her barrio thought he could play PIMP to get at my BANK. I just played dumb & let them destroy their own scenario with un-palatable lies.

Years have past we are awesome friends & i got Free Medical expertise & an open medicine cabinet.

The other one a Dancer, is my Angel, we were together from 2002 to 2005. We split because she could not handle the changes in attitude towards her from friends and associates. Based on that she now had a foreign boyfriend lets spend his money mentality.
It got too much for her, we saw less of each other then finally broke amicably. She knows me well & when I separated with the Doctor she heard through the grape vine & although she had a Cuban Boyfriend she came a cooked for me daily, bought me some laughs & even sex (no strings) she said everybody needs sex when they feel sad.

Bottom line is CUBANS are a lil more complicated than we care to see, especially when in the midst of the manipulations & emotional pain. Their concepts of love & friendship are completely different to our conditioning. You have to be extremely patient & very street wise to co-exist with a Cuban or within Cuba.

In conclusion if you want a part of this Culture or love someone from this Culture then you must appreciate PAIN to the highest mental & emotional degree. When your accustomed to these things, while keeping the mind & eyes open you will see, taste, smell & experience amazing things, beautiful, caring & sacrificing love.

"in Cuba, trusting is being absolutely prepared to lose"

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Oct 29, 2015
Education NEW
by: Hayley Mullah

Gabon seems like you had so much Tuff experience with these coupons. You had so much split and bad relationships in which you were not at fault. But it down' means they all are alike. Try writing your essays. It has nations as an upcoming topic of discussion. In which different nations worldwide as well as their characteristics is also discussed in detail. Cubans are also a part of discussion. You can share experiences and get so much on it,

Jun 22, 2015
Good post NEW
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Apr 30, 2015
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Jan 27, 2015
Life Is though But Never An Excuse To Sell Your Bodies! NEW
by: Rolando

Since the dawn of the twenty-first century, commerce and the trade of young male bodies has been flourishing in Cuba. It has become more conspicuous than female prostitution.

In Havana, hustlers are set apart by their youthful appearance: slender, athletic bodies, sculpted through daily exercise; tight designer clothes, the latest mobile phones, and expensive perfume. They are metrosexual with hairless legs and underarms, plucked eyebrows, well-trimmed hair, piercings, earrings, manicured nails and for some, makeup.

Cubans refer to them in vulgar terms identifying them with their primary working tool. Unlike female prostitutes, these commercial sex workers usually take male and female clients alike.

Clients are primarily foreigners visiting Cuba: Italians, Spaniards, Germans, and more recently, Canadians and Mexicans—people with much coveted money to spend. The ultimate goal is customer satisfaction. But these young men are far from being bisexual or homosexual. At the end of the day, they could very well be the neighborhood, clean cut, boy next door. The way they see it, they are only doing what they have to do, struggling to make ends meet. That struggle began at the height of extreme crisis euphemistically called, the "special period in the time of peace," the name given to the economic crisis that began in the early 1990’s lasting though about 1995.

Of all the market varieties of Cuba’s underground that have thrived since the economic debacle of the 90s, prostitution or hustling focused mainly on foreign tourism. It has been one of the most lucrative and certainly most accessible paths for the younger generation, especially after the crisis devalued the importance of pursuing higher education or obtaining a job with the state.

It was also the least persecuted path. Roy, a young Cuban who traveled to Italy though the sex trade, wrote in a forum called "Lovers of Cuba" (Forum degli amanti di Cuba):

"Sometimes I’d try something different. I’d sell guarfarina,' (a low-quality, clandestine homemade rum), pork and many other things. But I always came back. I became a bookie and took illegal bets on the Venezuelan lottery. That was profitable, but oh, man, if the police had caught me! So, I went back to hustling."

Periodically, the government sanctioned police raids to round up prostitutes, the broadest occurring in 1998 and 2002. However, by and large, the government has ignored the issue. Why?

The type of tourism the Cuban regime chose to promote as a lesser evil and salvation following the loss of their Soviet pimp has been one comprised of cheap, all-inclusive packages. Vacationers who buy these packages are usually from the low or lower middle class. They go to Cuba with the intention of spending as little as possible. The toleration of prostitution--remember that Fidel Castro did not condemn them, but called them "the most educated prostitutes in the world" -- is a way to force visitors to leave behind what little money they have in their pockets.

The fodder for this new "battle of the revolution" was not exhausted. Roy writes about how his family was prostituted:

"I started hustling when I was 20 years old. It was during the 'special period' and every day was harder than the last. The hunger was overbearing. Everyone was fed up with eating rice and beans, beans and rice, every single day. I was 20. My brother Raulito was 17, and my sister the Doll (as we called her) had just come into the world. My father was a fifty year old doctor, and my mom was a 37 year old teacher."

"I invented a job for myself with a small camera that had been given to me by a German. I took pictures of the prostitutes to help them market themselves to the gringos. I charged two dollars for each photo, and in a month I became the photographer to the prostitutes (that’s what they called me). My brother developed the photos and the business went well."

"But it wasn’t enough and my mom also became a prostitute. My dad went on with his revolutionary bullshit. I fought hard with him (...). I think he blames me because my mom became a prostitute. He said I had brought destruction to the house. Actually, I think he knew that what was killing us was the ideas that he was sticking to at all costs."

After some years of persecution, the "activity" is now the new "normal." You don’t hear of raids anymore. First Daughter Mariela Castro says that this is a job like any other. A couple of years ago, the weekly Digital Spring reported that with the new impetus to self-employment, authorities were expediting "companion abroad" licenses for prostitutes, which would exempt them from being jailed, accused of harassing tourists.

However, although male prostitution was reborn in the 90’s alongside female prostitution, raids or a mass incarceration of male prostitutes was unheard of. Only individual cases were reported.

Juan Antonio Madrazo, independent coordinator of Citizens Committee for Racial Integration, has written about male prostitution for Cubanet. The male sex trade he writes, has long been a harsh and uncomfortable reality that narcissist revolutionary sexism tries to hide.

Frequenting nightclubs where tourists attend is part of the modus operandi of young hustlers.Frequenting nightclubs where tourists attend is part of the modus operandi of young hustlers.
Speaking with martinoticias.com, Madrazo said that since early in this century, the sex trade among males has been more visible within the tourist circles of the island—more so than females. Madrazo believes that one reason for its success is profitability—everyone profits. Many cops are bribed into looking the other way and some act as pimps to the prostituted youth.

The official media has approached the problem of prostitution with kid gloves. Until now, it has overlooked the boom in male sex workers. Madrazo stresses that it is one of the most profitable businesses in the black market today. Some of the profits are being reinvested in a fledgling porn industry made in Cuba.

Independent journalist and blogger Iván García, places most of those male prostitutes in the emerging middle class. These workers may be high school graduates or have some type of university education. Many of them speak English or have learned other languages. Because they can afford to buy shrimp, beef and name brand liquor (which is sold in stores where CUC’s or Cuban convertibles pesos are allowed—the official currency of tourism on the island), hustlers are deemed financially solvent. They frequent nightclubs and have their own method of transportation, usually a motorcycle. Their lifestyle allows them to stay at tourist resorts a couple of times of year. The resort stay may be for pleasure but it’s also an opportunity to grow the customer base without secrecy.

The trade-off is far from fair. Hustlers don’t just sell their bodies. They sell their dignity, self-esteem, and mental stability. Tristan is a 22-year old computer science graduate from Camaguey. In one instance, he told Madrazo:

"It's hard to sleep with old men who smell. It’s not easy to seduce a stranger, but I do it out of necessity. To me, Europeans are better customers than Latino men; they respect men and don’t want to kiss me or hold hands in public. They do their thing and that’s it."

Medrazo writes that "many of these young men live in the slums of Havana that the tourist doesn’t get to see. For them, there’s this larger than life masculinity that is simultaneously a straitjacket and an armor allowing them to survive. They are virile young men, muscular, and at the same time, very fragile."

Tristan adds:

"No one can imagine the perversion that customers can ask for. But at least it allows me to pay debts and indulge in small pleasures, from sending money to my mom, to buying myself a perfume, or invite a girl to dinner or dancing at a nightclub. This is very hard on the self-esteem, but you have to overcome the many difficulties until you can get out of this stifling island."

Every prostitute's dream, whether male or female, is to find someone--anyone--who will fall enough in love with them to get them out of Cuba.

Roy found that someone. In Milan, his Italian mother-in-law describes him as "useless, penniless, uncultured, and with no prospects." According to her, says Roy, Cubans "are only ‘good for relaxing and partying’".

This young man from Central Havana believes that living abroad has been a great experience, but concludes:

"I know I can’t live in Italy. Sometimes I can’t breathe, I feel bad. I need my Cuba. My wife can’t believe it. She just says that I want to go because I don’t love her. She’s been crying for days. It pains me, but I think if I stay here, it would be worse. It’s better if I go."

Jan 18, 2015
by: Anonymous

You either have a fetish for Cuban women, or you are not capable of finding a woman in your own country or both, plus a doormat...sorry dude. Grow some balls

Jan 18, 2015
by: Anonymous

You either have a fetish for Cuban women, or you are not capable of finding a woman in your own country or both, plus a doormat...sorry dude. Grow some balls

Jan 10, 2012
by: Di

guabo i very much agree with many points that u touch ,i am a cuban girl!
i fall in love with a dutch guy iam trying and i will be a very good wife to him without forget the picante ,i really love him dont missunderstand me, but we are really difficult people ,..and i dont justify at all the cuban manipulating style.
I trust in love ,and i am soo damned happy that my Dutch trust in me too, he will not regreat it!

Jan 10, 2012
And you went back for more
by: Anonymous

I can understand being let down or conned by one Jintera, but to go on and have relationships with another two that let you down is just plain stupidity.
Surely you must have seen some warning signs as you had been there before, but you went back and had other relationships.

Maybe you should have cut your losses after the first one took you for a fool.

Doesn't look good percentage wise 3/3 didn't work out, maybe its you thats too nice and trusting and they have taken advantage of it.

Jan 09, 2012
where are you from?
by: Anonymous

What is your Country of origin? Is the love worth the pain? Is it more exciting to have these kinds of relationships? How did you make a living in Cuba?

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