Cuban Love or Fraud

by Jamiela
(Canada )

I have met a Cuban on the resort that I was staying at. We spent almost every day together, when we went off the resort HE paid for everything. I offered to buy him a drink and instead he bought me one. I am planning a trip back to Cuba in the next few months, he has not asked for me to bring anything. He told me that when I get there to worry about nothing. Also told that he wants me to learn everything I can about him and his culture. Told me that he loved me.....but afer 2 months it still felt a little soon. NEVER asked to come to Canada, just asked to be with me.
Can this still be a sign of a scam???? I know they have there routines down and now I don't know the truth from a lie. How can you tell the good honest Cubans from the hustlers??

love in Cuba?

by RM
(Mexico)

In my first trip to cuba I visited Matanzas, and made a friend about 3 years younger than me (I am 28) and in my first night he introduced me to over 25 people. I met a lady in a non tourist bar (a friend of a friend of my friend)we spoke all the night and at the end of the trip (about 4 days) she told me that she felt in love with me ( she is 24) she didn't ask for money she only asked me when I would return to the island.
She mails me every week and she asks me if it is posible to buy some stuff like a dvd player or clothes and she could sell it and save the money to pay the bills when I will come back. So I do not know if she is a really honest cuban or does she only see my as a way to earn some money for herself.

25 Years Ago I married a Cuban

by Marianne Delgado
(Marlboro, NJ)

I met a Cuban mechanical engineer while I was a secretary in the same cosmetic mfg. co. in Brooklyn, NY. Me being an American girl (5th generation) w/Irish and German roots spoke my high school spanish to him fooling around. Well, 1 month later we moved in together to Union City, NJ (ugh) and 6 mos. later we married in Bay RIdge, Bklyn - Our Lady of Angels Church in Bay Ridge, Bklyn. That, my friends, was on Dec. 1st, 1985. We find ourselves for the past 22 years in Marlboro, NJ with our daughter Danielle 20 and Natalie 11.

P.S. Did I mention and that my husband George was a marielito (political prisoner) from ages 15-22. Que pena verdad. He was from Luyano, HAVANA.


Minor Remark by Vic Webmaster
Not all Cubans leaving on the Mariel boatlift were
political prisonners. Most of them left Cuba (free) on the search for a better (economical) life.
Not all ordinary Cubans made it, some skilled Cubans started a new life, other Cubans ended in
poverty, I guess you married a "lucky one".
Wish you lots of happiness with your marriage! Go for another happy 25 years!

An ugly and very sad story from Cuba

by Andy B
(Ontario, Canada)

I met a beautiful Cuban girl named Rachael who was very nice, naive. Not to much education, but honest. She was one of the 2.5% that are nice, honest, and sincere.

This is typical too in Cuba. The mother was a witch, she trained and brainwashed the girl into buying the most expensive things when cheaper things were available. The mother would force her to try and make me buy things that the mother wanted and would take.

Once when I returned to Cuba and went for her she had on broken and dirty shoes. I asked her where are the shoes I bought you and where is the gold chain I bought you? She told me her mother made her give them to her and the mother sold them as they needed food and things.

I was so upset I cut the mother off completely. I was there for a few months and we traveled around, rarely returning to her home where the queen of the witches lived Wana in Cienfuegos.

I was so in love with this girl that I told her I was leaving for 2 months and coming back with a suit to marry her. When I got back to Toronto my sister was in the hospital dying. I was so upset at my younger sister dying in the hospital and thinking how short life is, I returned to Cuba in 3 weeks.

When I got her at her home she was like under control of her wicked witch mother Wana and seemed different. When I took her back to my casa particular she started crying. I asked her what was wrong and she asked me to give her some paper and a pen, and she started writing a 3 page letter to me. My Spanish is pretty good but I couldn't understand the letter as well there was 3 guys names in the letter and the word cida (aids). I asked her if it was alright to take her and the letter to my English professor friend for him to translate it and she agreed.

At the professors home he read it and said to me, do you know what it says here, it says her mother forced her to go with other guys (Cuban) that liked her, the letter said she had sex with all 3 of them and the rumour was 1 of those guys has cida (aids). I couldn't believe my ears and we went back to my casa.

No way was I going to have sex with her but I loved her and wanted to take care of her. At my casa was a doctor (owner). I asked the owners to prepare us a nice dinner. While sitting at the table Rachaels head turned/twisted to one side. I said what's wrong with your head? When she spoke her words were sounding strange as if her tongue was twisted???

She said she was going to speak to the doctor, when she returned her head was turned to the other side and her speech was messed up. She didn't eat and we returned to our room. While in the room I told her that her only problem was her mother and that her mother was giving her false information, she went a little crazy as I was bad mouthing her mother. I was now fed up and told her, get your things together and I'll take you home, and I did.

As she left my car I said your mother is the problem and she told me to F. O. in a very strange voice. From that day forward I saw her only 3 times and we talked each time. Her voice was permanently impaired and she also was in the hospital for mental problems too I heard.

This is Cuba. Even when you find that real nice person, the 2.5% of all Cubans someone else coaches them, influences them, and changes them. In poor Rachael case her mother ruined her life and made her go a little insane/crazy.

This is Cuba and be very careful. If you are not in Cuba for 6 or 7 months each and every year, it is impossible to have a relationship with any Cuban.

I'm still broken hearted for this beautiful, innocent, nice girl who her own mother messed up and got her screwed over. She never did get or have cidas (aids) Thank God


Cuba Travel Forum

NEVER MARRY A CUBANA

by SPIROS
(GREECE)

HERE IS THE MAIL THAT I DISCOVERED THAT MY CUBAN WIFE SENDS hola Bb, como estas? , ya hable con mi mama,
> y dice que si puedes que no hay lio, que la pases a buscar
> par ir al aereopuerto, y lo que mas quisiera es eso, verte
> ahi en el aeropuerto y lo sabes, si tania te presta el
> carro necesito que me lo digas, yo llego a la 5 y 30
> pero en lo que salgo de ahi sera como a las 6 y 15 , asi
> que ustedes pueden llegar a las 6 que van bien, eso si
> puedes ir papa, no te estoy presionando, solo dime si
> puedes para desirle a mi mama que tu vas o no, ella me dijo
> que te dijera que si, ves que las cosas van mejorando, te
> das cuenta?
> ahora solo necesito que me lo confirmes, pa relajarme
> por ese lado .
> el unico problema es tu trabajo, te dejaran salir
> temprano del trabajo o no ?, ese el problema , dime si
> puedes, te amoooo mi amor y mucho, te amo muchisimo mi bebe
> y te necesito mucho, y cuidate, espero tu respuesta y te
> necesito, escribeme, que espero, te amooooooo pinga,
> quiero verte en el aereopuerto mi nino lindo , muchos
> besitos ricos de tu mujer que te ama, besosO HIS BOYFRIEND IN CUBA FROM MY HOUSE :

I Need to Know How to Marry in Cuba

by Lucy
(canada)

I'm going to get married in March and I don't know where to start in getting the papers... can anyone help me?? I'm from canada...

Comments by Vic webmaster Havana-guide.com
I advise you to read carefully the info on this
page Marriage in Havana Cuba
You will need a birth certificate and a document stating your nationality and Civil Status (divorced, widow, etc.). Is your future husband a Cuban citizen and will you invite him to Canada?
In this case you are obliged to sign an official invitation, whereby you agree to take full responsability ( financial & medicare) for the Cuban. Note that all this documents must be officially translate in Spanish for the Cuban authorities and registrated by the Cuban authorities. In short this are the important steps. I strongly advise you to contact the Cuban
embassy in Canada for the latest update on the marriage documents. Be sure to contact the Canadian Immigration services too for up to date info on Cuban immigration.
Read the info about marriage in Cuba on the website of the Cuban Embassy in Canada
Getting Married in Cuba

Is this true love in Cuba?

by Mike
(Miami, florida)

I'm kinda curious as to really tell if this person you have discovered in a different country is really into you and not the money or the visa to your country.

I've have gone to cuba about 2 to 3 time and have had a pretty good time with family and such but this 3rd time I was introduced to this beautiful girl thats 18 and is a neighbor to my aunt and they have taken care of her since she was little. I have spent the whole week getting to know her a bit because her father is very strict and revolutionary and its kinda hard to see her at times, but I still haven't yet introduced myself to them because she fears of what her father would react to a tourist going out with her daughter.

Since I've left I have been writing her and sending some letters and such, good thing is she is not a begger for things. So I don't see any red flags yet so can anyone help me out a bit to really dig into whats going on with this relationship from abroad.
Just need some advice?

Marriage in Cuba

by Aussie Mamita
(Brisbane, Australia)

What are my chances of getting a pre-nup if I get married in Cuba first?/Advice for getting a fiance visa for Australia

I am engaged to a Cuban man and plan to bring him to Australia, as there are a lot more opportunities for both of us here in terms of work and a future. We are both quite young, no kids yet and keen to work together to build our future and start a family together. I have read lots of stories of Cubans refusing to work once they leave Cuba, however I am confident that my fiance does not fit into this category. He is young (23 - I just turned 30), motivated to work (trained as a chef in Cuba, his parents and sister are also hardworking with decent jobs) and speaks English well - I also speak Spanish quite fluently.

After reading all the horror stories on this site, I have decided it's best to get a prenuptial agreement before getting married to protect my assets. I love and trust my fiance and his family (until now they have given me no reason not to trust them), however I know from experience that people change in relationships, especially when it involves a moving to a new country and all the stresses and challenges this can involve. I also had a negative experience with a Cuban before which opened my eyes a lot, so I am much more aware and cautious this time around.

I would really appreciate some OBJECTIVE ADVICE (not negative opinions please - I have heard enough of those) on the following questions:

1) I want to know how I can get a prenup if we get married in Cuba first, as this is what we had originally planned. I am thinking of buying my tickets asap to go over in March/April, so need to be sure of this before I buy them. The main reason I am thinking of getting married in Cuba first is that I'm aware that the whole process of getting him here could take a lot longer than we hope, so I want to get things started as soon as possible. I have had two long-distance relationships in the past (one with a Cuban) and I think the longer you spend apart, the worse it is for the relationship - so naturally I am keen to start our lives together as soon as possible.

2) If it is not possible to get a prenup in Cuba, I will look into getting a fiance visa so we can get married in Australia first. However, I'm not sure what the chances of getting this type of visa are, as I have heard many visa applications are denied, often without a valid reason...is this true for Australian fiance visas? I have some idea of how costly the process can be, so don't want to waste time and money applying for a visa that has little chance of being granted.

3) I have read on this site that in order to get a fiance visa, I may need to provide proof that I have the funds to maintain him as long as he is in Australia. Does anyone know if this is true for Australia at the moment, what the amount is, and when/where I will need to show this?

4) Is there a minimum length for this type of visa or is it up to me to decide how long he stays here (and buy his return ticket accordingly)? The reason I am asking is that if he is not legally allowed to work here during this time, it is unlikely I would have the funds to maintain him for more than a few months.

5) If I do get him here on a fiance visa and we get married in Aus first, what happens once we are married? Will he still have to go back to Cuba when the visa expires (as I suspect), or is he then free to stay in Australia, as he will then be my husband? And if he does have to return to Cuba, how long would it be before he can come back to Aus for good on a spouse visa (or whatever this visa is called)?

I would appreciate any productive answers on this matter, as it all seems a bit confusing and complicated!

Thanks!

for the public about Cuba

by Alex
(canada)

Hi everyone, wow this site is packed with failed relationships. I wish there was a Cuban citizens forum to hear there side of the story. Considering this is mainly people from vacation.

Written by a born Canadian and well travelled on mission work. And I to am guilty and sorry to Cuba and its trying sweet honest people.

Victor, I wish to hear your input. From you living there, wife there.

I myself have spoken to a few Cuban people here in Canada, and they shared there experiences of wedding a foreigner to culture, climate, and personality shock.

Some tell me when the foreigner chooses to stay in Cuba for 5 years things seemed blissful. Later the other mate decides to live in Canada on a trustworthy notion of getting to know the others family and friends in there own environment. After a short time, the visiting spouse feels neglected from there so called love. The mate no longer has time for the other and is completely into the Canadian friendships. The other is left debating a future of loneliness in a strange land without there own family and friends.

This is a shame. Where are the Cuban peoples complaints and stories. Reading only forums like these are almost judgmental on a secluded nation and culture. We cannot embrace a culture looking through the fear of dishonest and a oppurtuntist mentality of superiority.

I think that its not fair. Hence why there are so many failed relationships. I am a transgressor of that mentality and I'm admitting it, to clearly be able to embrace the Cuban culture I have to look through humbled glasses. We as Canadians, foreigners tend to act or hide our mind sets to seem like there is no problem when that is a sitcom on its own. Whereas Cuban people are more humbled in there accomplishments and situation, hence hiding less. It is a lesson learned from "all of us" to deceive and fool eachother because many of us fool ourselves. None of us are better then each other.
Just a thought vic webmaster.

The Truth about Love in Cuba

HERE IS THE TRUTH
It does not matter if your woman is Cuban, American, French or whatever, most women want men to take care of them financially, we have what they want money, they have what we want vaginas, is war out there.
The winner takes the most and gives the least, avoid giving expensive gifts to all women unless she has earned it by pleasing you and sacrifice, if you decide to get a Cuban out of Cuba do it fast, if you take more than a year you give her time to cheat on you, any money over 100 usdlls sent to will not be spent on necessities may be shared with a Cuban boyfriend, IF YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ANY WOMAN IN ANY COUNTRY YOU WILL OVER SPEND AND NOT GET YOUR MONEYS WORTH.
Love in Cuba

Cuban Love translated into Fiesta Cubana!

by Jen Martinez
(Edmonton, Alberta, Canada)

I am a Canadian who first visited Cuba in 2001 to learn Spanish at the Instituto Superior de Arte for an intensive 2 month immersion program in Havana. It was an intense 2 months and I came out of it immersed with a Cuban boyfriend. I returned to Cuba twice a year and had a new boyfriend every year it seemed! Finally after puttting all these experiences behind me (yes the majority of Cubans take advantage of what you as a foreigner can offer, namely money and the possibility of leaving the country, luckily I found out relatively easily before investing all my heart or my money) at the end of 2004 I met a wonderful Cuban dancer from my friend's professional folkloric dance group. After about 7 visits to Cuba under my belt, I had perfected my Spanish and Salsa dancing which actually won him over! That first night we walked from Karl Marx theatre down the whole Malecon right to Prado, a good few hours. HE was the first one to invite ME for a drink - AND PAID FOR THEM BOTH! with the 200 peso MN salary he just received from performances that month.

That gesture was the first clue that he was different than all the others! He was one of the few proud Cubans who will NOT ask for things, though he welcomes them graciously if offered. I was studying and working in Cuba for 4 months and I ended up staying another 3 months til 2005 just to live with him and experience every facet of daily life there. I knew he was the right one for me because I took the time to live with him, and get to know him and the family. I only recommend marrying Cubans if you've had a similar long-term experience living there, and speak Spanish very well, as a 1 or 2 week trip meeting a Cuban at a resort for example will not work out in the end, especially if there is a language barrier. Most Cubans work in resorts for the heightened contact with money and foreigners...both can be very powerful motivations.

Anyhow my Cuban dancer and I got married in Havana March 2006, with lots of close family from both sides present, then I went back to Canada to start the lengthly invitation process and he arrived 10 months later. Since then, I have helped him adjust to a new language, culture and climate (-30C is the worst!) so that he could work in his profession and passion - as a dance teacher and performer. With a lot of perseverence and support, we opened Fiesta Cubana Dance School in 2007. Now after 2 years in business, we have inspired many students to learn about Cuban dance and culture, with several eager to go to Cuba and learn to dance and speak Spanish as I did. (And possibly they secretly want to meet a wonderful Cuban man as I did too!) Good luck, I think I got one of the few good ones left on the island!

Be realisitic about Life, Friendship and Love in Cuba

by Janice Chamberland
(Ottawa)

I have been to Havana many times. I understand the ways of the cuban. Older ladies, tourists ladies of an older age.... Stay real is all. Unless you are "Temba Bella..." a really attractive older woman and your cuban man is only a few years younger then please don't fool yourselves. If you cannot attract a beautiful young man in your country why then do you think this Cuban, the most beautiful men on earth is infatuated with you? He is not. He wants fun for the week. If you do too then enjoy!!! I go there to dance and dance I do!!!I pay the way in and buy a few drinks. I am careful. I accept the friendship if I see he is a good soul and you can spot the Jineteros by the nice clothes and bodies! I myself am embarrassed to be hanging out with young men..its looks so obvious but for dancing no problem. It is your choice how you want to go with it but I say leave your heart in your hotel room and have fun. Do not be a sucker. I am still friends with the very first man I met in Cuba. He is married now with a baby. No man I have met has asked me for a thing...not ever. Maybe to hacer el amor and never for money!

Fourteen years and counting...

by TBG
(Canada)

I married a Cuban tour guide 14 years ago. We have two children now, ages 7 and 10. She finished a masters degree last year and has a productive career ahead. She is often mistaken for 20 years less than her true age.
Get out and take a chance. or you can date for the next 20 years and wonder why life passed you by.


Comments by Vic Havana-guide.com

Congratulations, glad to hear that there are happy marriages too. Wish you all the best!

i married a cubana

by spiros
(athens)

i get married with a cubana ex-athlete in havana on march 2008.august 2008 she came in greece and from the moment she pass the border the problems started.

My Cuban Marriage

I'm a Canadian girl and got married in a ceremony in Cuba attended by friends and family.
After the marriage I returned to Canada, started the immigration process and went back to Havana, 6 months pregnant to visit my Cuban husband.
When my husband went out to get food and drinks, he forgot his cellphone and I could read some messages from other English speaking "loves". I was very upset and cried. After my husband came back he admitted everything and I understood that I was only one of his loves. I felt broken and returned to Canada. A few months later our marriage was over.

Love and loss in cuba

I was at a resort one day and I sat down to put on my shoes. This hot guy comes up and asks if I would like help, I accept and we hit it off, he would not let me tip him for his help and he seemed nice. we exchanged information but it's been a month and I have heard nothing. Not a word I may have found a good man in Cuba and he doesn't even want me.

pre-Nuptial in Cuba

Does the concept of a pre-nup have any meaning in Cuba now? If I marry him, and he signs a letter not to have any claim on my prior assets, does this count for anything in Cuba? I know usual Cuba law is 50-50 everything. But if we're in our 40s, do we still split it all?
Thanks.

ANSWER by Vic Webmaster
First this warning: I am no laywer, so my advice is no legal advice.

My feeling is that the concept of pre-nup arrangments in Cuba is as worthless as the concept of marriage. According to official statistics 70% of the marriages in Cuba end in a divorce. In fact this number is much higher, because lots of Cubans live together without a marriage certificate and separate frequently. The number of single mothers (left behind) with children in Cuba is huge. Sometimes I wonder is it in the Latin Macho Culture?

So the best you can do is take all possible precautions.
One of this is to marry first in your country of origin, let us say for example: Canada. Take in Canada all measures to protect your assets. Go to see a Canadian laywer and let him make a contract that will protect you in case of a divorce.
Than later you can see a Cuban lawyer and marry a second time in Cuba.

Leave your assets in your country of origin protected by laws you know! I heard the story of a British guy with several houses, he married a Cubana in Cuba and returned to London. Three months later his Cuban wife arrived in London, hired a British Laywer, filed for divorce and claimed half of his assets, without a contract in the UK this can be a problem. A foreigner in Cuba is in 99.8 cases the sponsor of the marriage, so he/she is the one who can lose most. Also be careful with bank accounts and creditcards. NEVER give a proxy on your accounts and NEVER mention your accesscode.

This may sound a bit creepy but I recommend to check and "spy" on your "Cuban", leave ("forget") a wallet with 10 notes of 20 CUC on the table tempting enough for a Cuban and check the content later. Golden rule: Always keep a low profile in Cuba, and don't believe all the nice stories they tell you.

Faking is an Art in Cuba, and Cubans are real Masters. This does not mean that I blame all Cubans, there are many honest Cubans too.
I never forget: the worst scams and corruption I have seen was in Europe!

Marriage and Divorce in Cuba

Ten in a Relationship in Cuba

by Jennifer
(Holland)

A decade ago I recall reading a poignant statement by the late Princess Diana.

'There are Three People In My Marriage' , she said tearfully as resigned herself to the reality that there was no love in her marriage, due to her husband's extra marital affair with Camilla Parker- Bowles.

In Cuba there are not just three in a relationship.

There are at least ten!.

Everyone from the mother, to the amigo and amiga to the local doctor and his wife want a piece of the pie, so they poke their nose into your relationship and scrutinise it , interfere with it, and discuss it at length.

They read your emails. Write your emails. Alter and modify intimate love emails to suit their own greedy desperate interests.

Why are they doing this?
Partly because their own lives are so very very dull, so boring.

Partly out of resentful jealousy.
Why should he have a Yuma when we have to depend on a useless arrogant workshy lazy husband/wife who treats us like mierde.
So they take an unhealthy morbid interest in your relationship.

They talk about it, pick it over like a bunch of vultures. Exploit it. Try to destroy it.
They will pick up the phone when you call and try to engage you in mindless chat at your expense.

Meanwhile the precious time is ticking away at Two Euros a minute.

They write your boyfriend's emails and collect money for this service as they have access to the net at work, but they will change the wording to suit them.
Vulgar references will be included when they want to annoy you.

They may send you an email addressed to another woman to worry you and get you guessing who the hell Yana or Celina is and why is your b/friend writing them love letters?.

They might send you a loving email from a man you do not know to make you think your friend is playing a game and trying to trip you up in case you might know respond to the guy who's the biggest player/jinetero in the town.

All of these games are played by the vile interfering family and 'friends' of your guy. You will notice gradually the tone of the email when sent from a particular email account.

Then a totally different tone when sent from another and you will realise there is a huge scam taking place. Your messages are being played with, altered for their own greedy self interest.

Perhaps your friend owes them the odd cuc for the last email so they will try to pin you down to the exact date of your next visit and tell you they have found you the best casa in town, all arranged, 'muy privato' 'muy barato'. All been arranged. Of course they have already discussed a commission from the owner of the casa that no one on the planet has recommended.

Then you get really angry because you know you've been had, been played by this greedy gang of vile vulture, parasites.
His mother, his sister, friends, his doctor, the doctor's wife.
All of them this bunch of greedy scumbag parasites have involved themselves in your relationship.

Even Princess Diana did not have it this bad. She had three in her marriage. You have to deal with at least ten parasites poking their nose and interfering in yours.
Only in Cuba.