Cuban Men - Cuban Love

The Man of My Dreams is a Habanero

by Jim
(Boston, MA, USA)

Havana Love

We met on a dating site. I saw his picture and thought he was adorable and I asked him about places to go and he told me to be careful when I was in Havana. We talked about art and culture across the Internet and before I knew it we were trading pictures of paintings. we agreed that it would be fun to go to some art galleries together and meet some artists. We set up a time and a place to meet in the lobby of my hotel.

We had talked about a lot more than paintings by the time I got to Havana and I was so excited because the conversation was so easy and enjoyable and his pictures were handsome, sexy, sophisticated and I felt attarction for him and my research trip took on new meaning. We spoke on the phone from USA to Havana and I was in love with his voice andattarcted to his personality. This man is not only smart, but he is one Communist hunk and I can get my thoughts off his body.

Well, the day comes and it is full of sexual energy and tension of the best sort. I come down the elevator and there he is, I see him right away, before I even open the door I see him through the window with the most wonderful handsome tall smile. He is gorgeous. I mean, drop-dead gorgeous.

We head over to his place in Havana Vieja and it is so cute and full of nice paintings. Before we head for dinner he tells me will take a shower and I sit outside on the terrace. I hear the water running and wish I was with him. I am sitting there and he opens the window and invites me to join him. I jump up and say I'll be right there. I open the door of the baño and there is he in all his manliness. In no time I am in the shower with him and he is washing me all over and me him with the window open and the Havana moon. I loved him from the elevator and 45 days later I love him even more. We write every day. We talk about the times we spent together and I tell him I cannot live without him now, that he is the man I have always been searching for and the man I want to be like.

We begin to plan a future together.
This is true love. Havana love. There is nothing plastic, or drunken about it, but the real thing. We cannot get our minds off of one another. I will see him next month. I want to be married to him. I tell him that where I live 2 men can be married and he is shy and not sure, but I am not. This man is solid humanness. He has a heart of gold, he knows how to love kindly and deeply, he kisses me and I melt, he touches me and I fall into his heart.
I touch him and his voice gets soft. I tell him I love him and he tells me no one has ever told him that and he has no one in his life so dedicated to me.

It's possible. We spent hours and hours exploring each others minds. This man is perfect for me. Our sex is wonderful. I have never reached climax like the ones he has brought me to over and over again. Good luck, but be careful. There is gold there in Havana. Go to the museums and look for the smart ones.

Some Cuban men are not too bright

by Cuban men are con artists
(Ottawa Canada)

Cuban men in Varadero

I went to Varadero on a vacation thinking I was going to meet some other nice tourists, dance, drink and just have some fun and relaxation. I was sitting quietly by the pool when two cuban lifeguards walked by and started to chat me up. One of them what in his early 30's and the other in his mid 40's. They asked me where I was from etc.etc. Asked me to come to the beach. When I did, the older of the two named Damos kept coming by and just chatting.
When I left, he took my address and phone number and told me I was a beautiful and a good friend. Never heard from him I went back at the same resort 6 months later, because it was the nicest hotel in Varadero and I had really enjoyed myself the time before.
Well, when I got to the beach Damos remembered my name, gave me lots of compliments and spent basically the whole week catering to me, with drinks, and conversation. Then one day as he was walking away he said I love you. I was shocked.

Now mind you, this guy had been talking to me the whole week about his little fake cigar business on the beach, how they stole booze from the hotel to sell to tourists, even showed me where he hides his cigars in the bushes behind the beach. Told me how he gets past security at the front of the hotel and on the beach by paying them off. He has his little group of guys working for him selling these things to tourists. Now, I know how his whole operation works. Now, the guy plays me for the next year and a half, I come back with gifts, an Ipod for his son and daughter, perfume for his mother, tshirts for the guys. You get the picture. We get into a fight one day because I asked him why we couldn't see each other outside the hotel and he tells me it's because he's going to lose his job if he gets caught with a tourist. (that should have been my first clue).

Anyways, I text him and call him, he sometimes answers and responds but most of the time doesn't. Now, I'm getting angry because I feel like I've been had. Now, if I wanted to cause this guy major damage, do you not think that I could write the hotel manager and the hotel chain and tell them about these scams going on in their hotel and where exactly all these fake cigars are hiden. And that would cause him to lose his job.
Now talking about biting the hand that feeds you. How stupid was he, you would think that he would try to keep me happy, not too bright this cuban boy.
Varadero
Tourist attractions in Cuba

Cuban Friend

by Bernadette
(Ireland)

This is not a love story but perhaps someone could advise me. My son and I holidayed in Guadalavca in July 2011. We met a local family on the beach. The mum was friendly and spoke great English. The dad worked near our hotel. They invited us to their home for the day. We spent a lovely day with the family and some friends. We met them again on the beach. They never asked for anything and the mum was disgusted by some people begging or telling stories to get money from tourists. I gave them a small amount of money for mobile calls and some clothes when I was there. When we returned home, iI called the family and they were friendly. I sent a letter containing money but they said they only received the letter no money! The mum rang today to tell me the government want her to leave her house or pay 3000 CUC and could I help? I explained I do not have that sort of money but would like to send something. My bank said the lady must sent bank details and she now thinks she can do that as she is staying with her sister in Havana.
I was wondering is this a genuine request or could it be a scam? I feel bad even thinking this as the family were so nice to us but I live with my son and only earn a small wage which I save from to go on hols.

I would appreciate any advice or thoughts on this.
Thank you

Answer by Vic Webmaster

I have absolutly no intention to insult you but your post sounds very naive. Having said this, NEVER NEVER send cash money by post to Cuba. All letters or parcels are opened. Even in most Western countries it's forbidden to send cash by post.

And yes this demand for money is probably a scam. Cubans are notorious for inventing stories. The have to do it all day, so they are master story tellers. The goverment asking her to pay 3000 Cuc ?? The average salary in Cuba is 18-20 CUC. That's more than 12 years of income. Hallo??
Who can afford this in Cuba??
To my opinion they "play" it clever, "scamming" the new way.
How it works?
Seek friendship, don't ask for anything, invite the foreigner in your house, socialize, etc. When trust is built up, invent "a money story" this can be a sick mother, child etc. I remember years ago the trick with the powdered milk. Every Cuban was asking to the foreigners to buy milk for their (sick) baby. A day later the milk was sold back to the shop for hard cash (CUC's). Half of the profit was for the shop employee.
You mentioned Guardalavaca, well Guardalavaca, Varadero and Old Havana are places that are notorious for "jineteros" this are hustlers who try to cheat or scam tourists.
My advice: stop sending any money, invent yourself a story. For example, say that you lost your job and at this moment you can't afford to send money. Yes, chances are that you will lose your "Cuban friends". If after 2-3 years (without you sending money) they still seek contact with you they might be real friends, but be vigilant!

Letter from a Cuban man

by Jani
(Canada )

I went to Cuba a few years back and met a Cuban man. I went back 6 months later and we had a week together. It was dancing and pleasure nothing more for me.
He was adorable and a soft soul...with a very serious side. He opened an email account and started writing. It fed my fantasy and appeased my bordom. Eventually I had to tell him to stop writing such flowery romantic letters... I read so much on this site that I was getting uncomfortable as I didn't want anyone playing games when I had been very clear from the beginning about what it was.

Still to this day he writes (although his emails have become more on a friend level. He says he still thinks of me often and remembers our time together with great fondness. (ya I guess...it was a great vacation for him!) Anyway sometimes I wonder if maybe he was one of the sweet special ones. Here is a portion of the letter he wrote after I told him to please stop with the romantic stuff. Any opinions? Do you think he's full of it? Anything sound familiar to anyone? Translated to english so not perfect.

Dear -----,
After thinking about some little things I’m asking for a time of peace. I think things are perfectly clear and I understand it all perfectly well. I accept this great friendship that you offer me with all my heart and I want to give thanks to you for this great gift.

Its not every day we find a real friend therefore I will settle for this because I think it comes from the heart.
Thank you for the truth. Jxxx, I love you very much and I am really going to learn to be satisfied with friendship only. I know we do not have a formal commitment.

I think allot and that I can’t help and when I speak I speak from my heart I don’t have guilt and I know that we are not a couple but I would like you to know that I will always be there for you and don’t hesitate for anything please.

I hope to continue this communication and hope that it never ends, ever. You are very special to me and really want you to know that I need a woman like you who understands me just a little. The material things are not important what is important is the very real and deep feelings for each other. Dont be afraid of the things I say. I am a little bit of a philosopher of life and on many occasions not all people agree with me. Jxxx love before everything. You are an exellent person and I understand all that you mean but sorry, I cant stop thinking about you over night and that is something I hope you should understand.
You ask me to speak about everyday things but my everyday things have much to do with you. Now maybe I’m grasping to prolong these letters. But I think that they wont end anytime soon. This is the way I express and when I want go into your house via this route and say what I feel. I’m sorry but it's the way I can relieve my pain. This has been so strong for me that you indifference bothers me so much and I have to say more. My queen, I love you and I am also so surprised by this long letter that you sent me. I will never be upset with you just as long as you always tell me how you feel and if you ever change your mind. I say that because I think that I will always leave the door a little bit open for you. It makes me feel better although I cant kiss you or touch you or speak to you.

Today I am going to a concert of peace that has been talked about so much on television. I hope to take some photos for you. After we will celebrate a birthday of a co-worker.

The Truth About Cuba

by Stevie
(London)

I’m a married young successful decent looking guy. I met my Cuban wife when I was 26 after separating with my ex girlfriend.
I went to Cuba to take some time out after a long term relationship. I had every intention of having a good fun holiday to make myself feel better but nothing else.
I didn’t even know about jineteras.

JINETERAS

This a very complex subject. I grew up in a poor workinng class background in London and believe me am very streetwise.
I went to Cuba as a unwise Yuma (foreigner) and knew nothing at all about the life of a Cuban.
The Cubans are POOR and as a Yuma you are nothing more than a walking CUC.
Cuban people are the most family oriented people I have met.
As a Londoner in the UK I have learnt to keep my eyes open and myself to myself.
It took only a few hours for me to realise how much as a YUMA you are taken for a mug (fool).

It’s simple and logical, please take on board what I am writing. (this may save you either a lot of money or a broken heart!)

I had a few experiences in Cuba!

On the first night I decided to go out clubbing just as I would in the UK, I met a guy in the hotel as I was ordering my taxi from south London who was checking in.
He was in his thirties decent looking geezer and we got on well. So off we went in a taxi. We didn’t have a clue about the place so just asked the taxi driver to take us some place good.
We arrived at our destination and paid our 15 CUC entrance fee.
Within 60 seconds we both have 2 beautiful Cubans off our arms. I don’t speak Spanish.
Everywhere I walked I would be approached by a young lady.
I thought maybe as a foreigner I was attractive. YES ! But only because of the CUC in my pocket.
Please do not be fooled that you are attractive to the young ladies but anything than the CUC in your pocket. YOU ARE NOT!

Its as simple as this: If your Cuban partner is many years younger than you. More attractive or slimmer you ARE being taken for a ride.
Do NOT believe it is love. It is NOT!

If you find that you are many years older or larger or more ugly than your Cuban partner. THINK!

The same rules apply as the country you are living in.

EXCEPT!

A Cuban is Cuban. As a foreigner you are not the same. Cubans are some of the friendliest decent people I have ever met.

YOU will not have the same respect!

You will be fooled into being Loved!

You will fall in love with CUBA

Your partner WILL take you for every CUC you have

I am married to a Cuban, I have much experience living in Cuba. I KNOW what I am talking about.

Treat Cuba as you would your own country: if something seems to good to be true - then it is.

Otherwise enjoy. Digest the truth and open your eyes and think with your head not your heart!

COMMENTS by Vic webmaster Havana-guide.com
Thanks Stevie, excellent advise for our visitors!
I can only agree with your observations.

Beautiful cuban man

by julia
(new philadelphia, ohio, u.s.a.)

the most beautiful cuban man, the only cuban man I ever met and I fell for him fast and hard. He was with me for a couple weeks then one day, he was gone.

This may seem as crazy as crazy can get, but I met this beautiful man in ohio at a gas station and when I looked at him I was melting and falling for him the minute I met him.
He was fun.
We watched movies together, rode bikes, just hung out.
He told me about his life in cuba,
some good, some sad, some scary.
I knew nothing about cuba and the way of life there.
It was like a whole different world.

I am from the u.s. ohio. I have always lived free to make my own choices.
We did have a language barrier, but we did what we had to do to understand.
We did both get frustrated over that at times, but it was ok. he told me "i love you julia" we made love, it was good. i knew his life was complicated. but I trusted every word he said, and then he was gone.
I am still very sad over this and it has been 3 months.

I am confused and just dont understand. I just want him to call me and I would do anything to touch him and kiss him one more time. "I LOVE yulian still" people say "you are crazy julia", I say "LOVE is crazy."

Cuban man with fire in his eyes.

by margaret
(england)

I am home from a tour of western cuba, from Havana, we went to Vinales valley.
One night in september, we went to the village, and to a bar. a man came and asked me to dance, he held me gentley, and we danced the salsa.
I looked at him, and he was looking in my eyes, his eyes were on fire! he kissed me many times on the lips, his eyes never leaving mine.
We danced all night, he was with some Russians, and some of them went on a lorry, he waved me to go inside the bar, for I was watching him. he came back for me to dance one more time.

Then he came with an interpreter, who couldn't really speak english (I am an english woman) but he wanted to see me next night. I wanted to see him very much.
We left on the coach, back to the hotel, next night, I was late for him, the taxi was late, and he was not in the bar, he must have gone!
I was so dissapointed. His eyes I will never forget, for a man has never looked at me like before.
His mum was in the bar too, he introduced me. I can't remember how he pronounced his name.
He is a cuban man, but name like ''lativir''. I dream of him still, i am going to write to him, the bar in the village, thats all I know, send him a photo, I will never forget my man with the fire in his eyes.
He was a hard working man, had very worn hands, quitely spoken, and polite, did not ask me for anything, we had fun.. never forget......

Cuban Relationship

Learn Something From This

Compare your "relationships"..... I spent about 6-7 months a year in Cuba with my man, no rubbishy 5 weeks (what man stays faithful, on those terms, in ANY country???? You're crazy if you believe he will - anywhere). We lived on about $50 a week when I was there - meals at paladares at 30 pesos cubano each were our blessing. I funded nothing of his. He wanted me to stay at his place to save more money - I chose not to - MY choice to pay for a casa, for privacy away from family, and our own space, etc. Costed me less than paying for fuel, food, etc at home. And you know what? It still wasn't perfect. Just writing this to

(a) TURN DREAMS INTO REALITY for anyone who thinks going there 2-3 times a year for 2 weeks each time is enough to maintain the relationship (it isn't - Cubans want sex like I want milk in my coffee - regularly, and lots of it).If you are there anything less than 40 weeks a year- he will be unfaithful - guarateed.

(b)BRING THE SELF-RIGHTEOUS who claim to have had a long term relationship into perspective. The truth is.....you NEVER know what he's doing, if you're not there. And he will get away with as much as he can......until he's caught.

As mine was. He was out of the door in 10 minutes, after I'd packed his bags.....to throw at him.

Older Cuban Man

by LT
(TORONTO)

So, where should I begin?
I'm a young Canadian female, 19 years old.
Now, its not that I ever intended for this to happen, I'm aware I'm an attractive girl and my last intentions were to ever fall in love with a older Cuban male...but it happened.
Last Christmas, I came with my mother for about two weeks and stayed at a resort in Varadero. In all honesty, Cubans would gawk at me wherever I went, and they all began to become a big blur to me. They would all give me the same compliments and whisper unknown spanish into my ear while grabbing my hand. However, one stood out. He wasn't eye - catching but he has a way with me while would look at me with a serious stern look. He eventually came up to me in my second week and we began to spend time together. We would sneak off together as I never intended on getting him in trouble at his place of work. Soon enough, I began to really like him. He was smart, knew about 4 different languages and spoke English well. He was the jealous type. He would watch me when he thought I wasn't looking, but I didn't care for any of the other boys my age at the resort. I waved them off carelessly.
My mother even met him. Hes almost twice my age, and my mother, who...in other words is almost nun like and very conservative even liked him.
All good things come to and end however, and my two week vacations was over. I left and he began to email me and send me what he referred to as "lost calls" where he calls and hangs up (it would be a fortune to answer) to show that hes thinking about me.
I vaguely kept in touch with him, however I still thought about him.
I went back towards the end of the summer and fell madly in love with him yet again. It was different this time, as I spent every night with him and when he wasn't working, he'd call my room or find me on the beach.
I'm absolutely crazy about him.
Now, I'm not naive. I know what I'm getting myself into, I've read all these cuban love stories, but I don't really care. I could be totally mislead and he could do whatever he wants without my knowledge. Regardless, no boy in Toronto has ever sparked my interest since Ive met him.
I will be visiting him in November, and I literally can not wait.

Ive read some of the stories, and its making me very discouraged. However, I guess i'll just have to wait and see what to expect when I go back?

Is He a Cuban Scammer?

by Sarah
(Ottawa)

I was in Guardalavaca in April when an attractive man walked into the cafe where I was having lunch.

He sat at the table opposite and kept staring at me. He seemed quiet, reserved, dignified.

As he left he looked back at me. When I left the cafe he was standing on the other side of the road telling me be careful of the traffic. He asked if he could accompany me along the beach to my hotel , I said no.

He told me I was beautiful and that he had seen me enter the cafe, he loved the way I dressed, even how I walked, could I meet him later to watch the sunset together. He ran a makeshift shop on the side of the road selling water, juice etc.

We met up later that evening for a drink at a quiet bar, watching the sunset together. We got along, he could speak English but with a strong accent, however I can speak a little Spanish.

He paid for his own drink which made me think he is not using me.

He did not insist on entering my hotel. We met up every evening before I left and got to know each other.

He told me he wanted to keep in touch, he could not use the internet, so I would have to text or call him.

I bought an International calling card, but our communication was a bit garbled, He told me he missed me from the day I left. I could hardly understand what he was saying, not only because of his accent but because he speaks softly. Very frustrating.

I called him last night and again the conversation was less than clear, lot of noise, he works outdoors.

One sentence threw me offguard though. "I'm starving down here" he shouted in an angry way. I did not catch exactly what he said next but it sounded angry.

I yelled back at him that I am not the kind of woman who maintains a man or who would send money if that is what he was implying, that the call was costing me a lot, and immediately cut him off.

I genuinely thought he was for real when we first met. Either he's a great actor or I overreacted last night on the phone.

I would appreciate your views. Would I be wasting my time on this man if I returned to Cuba ?.

Thank You.

A letter from my boyfriend in Havana

by Elisabeth
(Norway)

I met a good looking man (46 years old) at La Florida in Havana last easter. We spent 12 days together, and I was not able to avoid falling in love with him.
I got al lot of e-mails from him, and in short the main message from him was that he loved me and wanted to marry me as soon as possible. I went back in August to visit him, and see if I found him serious or not. We had some nice days together, and some terrible days were he showed his anger and black moods. I was very disappointed, and got angry because I don't accept such behaviour. I returned to Europe earlier than planned, and he cried and was very sad, said he had been an idiot. We went on with the contact. I did challenging him about some issues I found difficult in our "relationship", and he got very angry. Today I got this very special letter from him. He tells me how bad I am, but he can go on the relationship and marry me if I with a limit of 72 hours give him 1000 cuc:

Hoy escribime una vez mas y juro por todos mis ancestros e hijas que sera (that's nice too, I swear on the head of all of my daughters (how many?)
mi ultima comunicacion con usted,puesto que acabo de comprender que usted
es una persona injusta e egoista que no suele respetar ni tampoco desea
hacerlo y que poco le importa las situaciones y dificultades que poseen
las personas,dire algo para usted eres una persona injusta y muy malvada
tu mejor que nadie sabe que en tu pais nadie te va hacer sentir como hoy
tu te sientes conmigo y que nadie sacrificara años de su vida a tu lado
para que tu cada vez que te de la gana hagas una crisis de celos
estupidos,ya usted colmo mi pasiencia,soy yo ahora el que no desea tener
mas ninguna relacion con usted no me arriesgare a perder los mejores
tiempos de mi vida al lado de una persona tan tonta como lo es usted que
no sabe valorar las cosas que la vida le ofrece y que vive siempre
llevando en su mente un mundo de prejuicios,no quiero seguir viviendo mi
vida con mas tormentos ni angustias,si la escogi a usted fue porque a
pesar que eres muy bella y atractiva te vez a lo lejos una persona dulce y
comprensible no mas señora me equivoque con usted,yo quiero en mi vida una
persona dulce,tierna,fragil dispuesta a dar su vida por mi si fuese
necesario,no deseo tener una esquisofrenica que un dia esta muy bien y
despues sin ningun motivo me escribe ofendiendome diciendome que si soy
alcholico que si soy un oportunista,no permitire mas sus juegos
esquisofrenicos ni mucho menos gastare mi dinero en el correo para darle
respuestas a las mismas estupideses de todos los dias,a partir de hoy
usted queda libre de mi y yo de usted. Solo volvere a tener relacion
amorosa contigo si a partir de estos instantes usted me da el respeto que
meresco porque yo no arriesgare los ultimos años de mi vida al lado de
alguien que no sabe ni desea valorar a las personas,hoy tendra que
demostrarme muy fuerte que me ama.

1-Quiero 1000 cuc para resolver todos mis problemas
2-Te espero en diciembre para casarnos
3-deseo ser feliz y no ser mas nunca maltratado

si usted antes de 72 horas no empieza a cumplir con mis deseos puede
retirarse

Remark by Vic Webmaster

This is Cuba in full, Love, Money, Storytelling, and blackmail in one letter.
Always be vigilant with good looking Cubans in Tourist areas and bars like La Florida, the Hemingways's bar in the heart of Old Havana.
When you don't give them the Plata (money) they feel maltratado (bad treated)

Letter from my cuban boyfriend 46 years old

by Elisabeth
(Norway)

I met a good looking, adult man at La Florida last easter. We spent 12 days together. I cold not avoid falling seriously in love with him, although he had some strange changes in mood without any visible reason. I am about his age, good looking, blond, fit, well educated with a very good job in Europe.
We wrote e-mails and smses through many months, and I went to visit him 3 weeks in August. I wanted to see if the relatinonship could develope, and if he was serious. I had bought a lot of gifts to him and his family. My visit gave me a chock. His mood was changing many times a day and he was drinking a lot of alcohol. He even went to times alone to La Florida the first week of my stay.
I left Cuba 1 week before planned, happy to get out of it. Later we have communicated a bit, I felt I needed some time to digest this experience and I wanted to challenge him a bit. I got this e-mail from him yesterday, were he demands 1000 cuc within 72 hours.

Hoy escribire una vez mas y juro por todos mis ancestros e hijas que sera
mi ultimacomunicacion con usted,puesto que acabo de comprender que usted
es una persona injusta e egoista que no suele respetar ni tampoco desea
hacerlo y que poco le importa las situaciones y dificultades que poseen
las personas,dire algo para usted eres una persona injusta y muy malvada
tu mejor que nadie sabe que en tu pais nadie te va hacer sentir como hoy
tu te sientes conmigo y que nadie sacrificara años de su vida a tu lado
para que tu cada vez que te de la gana hagas una crisis de celos
estupidos,ya usted colmo mi pasiencia,soy yo ahora el que no desea tener
mas ninguna relacion con usted no me arriesgare a perder los mejores
tiempos de mi vida al lado de una persona tan tonta como lo es usted que
no sabe valorar las cosas que la vida le ofrece y que vive siempre
llevando en su mente un mundo de prejuicios,no quiero seguir viviendo mi
vida con mas tormentos ni angustias,si la escogi a usted fue porque a
pesar que eres muy bella y atractiva te vez a lo lejos una persona dulce y
comprensible no mas señora me equivoque con usted,yo quiero en mi vida una
persona dulce,tierna,fragil dispuesta a dar su vida por mi si fuese
necesario,no deseo tener una esquisofrenica que un dia esta muy bien y
despues sin ningun motivo me escribe ofendiendome diciendome que si soy
alcholico que si soy un oportunista,no permitire mas sus juegos
esquisofrenicos ni mucho menos gastare mi dinero en el correo para darle
respuestas a las mismas estupideses de todos los dias,a partir de hoy
usted queda libre de mi y yo de usted.Solo volvere a tener relacion
amorosa contigo si a partir de estos instantes usted me da el respeto que
meresco porque yo no arriesgare los ultimos años de mi vida al lado de
alguien que no sabe ni desea valorar a las personas,hoy tendra que
demostrarme muy fuerte que me ama.

1-Quiero 1000 cuc para resolver todos mis problemas
2-Te espero en diciembre para casarnos
3-deseo ser feliz y no ser mas nunca maltratado

si usted antes de 72 horas no empieza a cumplir con mis deseos puede
retirarse

I trusted my Cuban Lover so much........

by Lina
(Sweden)

I am a young woman from Europe. This spring I've been in Cuba for 4,5 month.
The story:
After I had been there a while I met this beatiful beatiful man. He was like the answer to my prayers, at least I thought so! In the beginning everything was AMAZING, I was so happy - and he seemed very happy as well. He did everything to me, everything to make me feel good. I had never tried to be with a man that cared for me in this wonderful way. He told me all the time how special I was to him and how much he was dreaming about our future together. I felt we had something very special, we could talk about very personal stuff, something i've been missing in my other relationships. Several times he cried of happiness, in different situations, for example one day we were in the theatre another day at Malecon looking at the stars and also in other situations where we shared personal things from the past. Then the fairytale ends.......I find out that he has been lying to me about his past his former "career", that he has been trying to get permission to leave the country a bit before I met him (this doesn't matter to me, but what matters to me is that he lied and told me that he had never had a novia extranjera) Why didn't he just tell me the truth......
I also "borrowed" him money, and I think that he might saw this as a present. I've lost them. And now I can just see how he has tried scamming me with all these lies about who he were to make me "borrow" him money, or at least thats how I feel. Oh my God, how I would love to be clairvoyant or GOD to be able to see into his heart and mind to see whats going on. To me its just so unbelieveble that you can treat other people this way and f... up their hearts and minds like this. I just doesn't get it. This is very honest written and I hope you have understanding for my confusion. But it's simply because I'm so chocked by how some people can treat other people. I know that their situation is very difficult but still..... I broke up with him when I found out he had been lying to me. Then before I had to leave to my country he said that he had to see me and he came to La Habana. He had a surprise: He had gotten a big tatoo at the lower part of his arm saying my name and his name. And it was real, no doubt about it and very big. He wanted to show me he meant it and that he was serious, when I had to leave and we ended it "again" he cried and cried. Still I don't understand what has been going on in the mind of this guy. I'm still in love with him but I can't be with a man who I can't trust. I think it's so difficult which things you should forgive also because of the circumstances in Cuba. I mean I know he has been living an extremely hard life, with an absence of his parents in an early and this but still this doesn't justify him lying to me to make me want to "borrow" him money. I just think its so hard what to belief......When you really love the guy.....
What do you think? I'm so confused..... Should I just hold on to my decicion and try and forget him.....

Thank you for your time.

Cuba's First Gay Marriage.

by Alice
(Nova Scotia)

Vic I wonder what you think of Cuba's first gay marriage. In a Caribbean filled with Homophobic hatred for homosexuals, could Cuba be leading the way?.

Ignacio Estrada and Wendy Iriepa The couple say their wedding is not intended as political provocation.

A Cuban man and transgender woman are set to marry in what is being seen as the country's first "gay wedding".

Same sex marriage is illegal in Cuba, but bride Wendy Iriepa is legally a woman after undergoing one of the first state sanctioned sex changes in 2007.

Her fiance, Ignacio Estrada, is a noted dissident and gay rights activist in Cuba and is also HIV positive.

The couple say the wedding, timed to coincide with Fidel Castro's birthday, is a "gift" for the former leader.

Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people faced official discrimination for many years in Cuba, and in the early days of the revolution many were sent to labour camps to stamp out their "counter-revolutionary" values.

But since taking over from his brother as Cuba's leader, Raul Castro has introduced a series of gay rights reforms, including legalising sex change operations.
Continue reading the main story.

All I know is that I am in love with a woman”said Ignacio.

Ms Iriepa underwent her treatment at the National Centre for Sex Education, which is headed by Raul Castro's daughter, Mariela.

"It's wonderful. It will be the first 'gay' wedding in Cuba," Ms Iriepa said.

"I don't want this to be seen as a political act. Even if it's a gift to Fidel, I'm not worried about what the government will think."
'Ode to freedom'

Mr Estrada said he had always considered himself to be gay but that "with Wendy, it's totally different".

"Today, I don't know what I am - all I know is that I am in love with a woman," he said.

The wedding was "not a provocation", said Mr Estrada, but an acknowledgment of their relationship.

Cubans will celebrate Fidel Castro's birthday in Havana 12 August 2011.

"Our wedding will be an ode to freedom, and the rights of the LGBT community."

Dissident blogger Yoani Sanchez, who will act as witness at the ceremony, said that while the marriage is not technically a gay wedding "it is the closest we have come".

"For one afternoon, a brief afternoon, we are putting our country into the third millennium."

Huge celebrations are taking place held in Cuba to mark Fidel Castro's 85th birthday.

But it remains unclear whether he will attend.

He has rarely been seen in public since handing power to this brother in 2006 after suffering serious illness.

I need to know is my Cuban friend true or not?

by lucy
(canada)

People say so many horrible things... i just need to know if his heart is being true or not.... i was in cuba for my very first time in april, and the first night i was there i swore to my gf that i dont like foreigners so i probably wont hook up with anyone!! she went down there for someone.. anyways, the first night there i meet a guy... shy, quiet, and just non schilant.. so i sat and talked to him cause my other two gf's were all over the other ones... we talked and talked all night til about 5 in the morning... so for that whole week we hung out went to disco's together and just got to know each other!! i also told my gf, even if i do end up hooking up with a cuban it'll just be a fling... nothing special, just for fun... so i totally thought that way until i got on the bus and was home for a few days... i found myself thinking hard about this man... and the last day he gave me his email address just in case i felt like contacting him.. i said to him haha you probably do this all the time... and he said you know what im not going to lie... i do meet up with a lot of tourists but for some reason you stand out from the rest of them... please email me.. if you don't oh well life goes on right?! i was like right!! anyways so i emailed him just saying thanks for making my trip an excellent one!! and he replied... "your welcome... but for some reason i can not stop thinking about you... i told you . you stand out A LOT we talked like i have never talked with other girls... i am not a sweet talking person so dont think i am going to say all these things too you, its just i wanted you to know that i have not stopped thinking about you." so obviously me being curious cause my heart is telling me to do so... i emailed him back.... and we emailed back and forth then i decided to call him... and so i booked another trip in july.. this time for 2 weeks... he is on the national team for windsurfing and the weeks that i was coming fell on a very important competition. and the competition was in Matanzas and he was there for training and all that but still stopped everything to come meet me in Holguin guardalavaca. This is the thing though... because there was no plane to get there on the right date, he hitch hiked took him almost 2 days to get there in the middle of his training, and his dad was super pist at him but he still came!! once i arrived the next day we left for matanzas and stayed in matanzas for 4 nights for his competition. he introduced me to EVERYONE.. his coaches.. team mates.. school friends.... it was awkward but i have never felt so special in my life!! anyways the four nights were awesome got to live like a cuban.. food fantastic... then we headed back to guardalvaca... ok 11 hr car ride with no music cause the radio was busted.. and no cd's damn did we ever get to know eachother cause all we had to do was talk!! get back to guadalavaca and the best trip of my life i have to say.. i fell for him hard after that trip.. i felt like i have known him for years... i stayed with his family a lot... i got to speak with his mom and dad.. they know quite a bit of english considering his dad works at the hotel.. anyways.. last day there his mom cried.. said she would miss me and that i am always welcome back whenever... needless to say the goodbye was painful and 2 weeks back i booked another trip im leaving in one week... tell me real or fake? he's never asked me for anything.. he has everything he's ever wanted his family is pretty wealthy for being in cuba cause i guess its because his dad works at the resort and tips pay off well!! and he's grampa is in the usa and his uncle is in canada..so they send him money all the time... now i got to talking to his uncle in canada cause he wanted me to get to know him.. or maybe just to see what his uncle thinks of me.. and his uncle told me... you know i have found girls to marry him to get him here but he will not accept it.. i dont know why?! anyways.. this is super long (sorry) but i just want to know real or fake.?

oh yeah one last thing.. he ALWAYS picks up his phone for me no matter what!! sometimes i call at like 4 in the morning and he still picks up!! i just need some comments or advice or something this is totally new for me!!

COMMENTS by Vic webmaster havanaguide.com

I hate to be negative, but your story sounds familiar. Of course each situation is different that's why it's very delicate to express an opinion. Consider these facts: a Cuban marriage has a 70% failure rate, 70% of the Cuban marriages end in divorce. Cubans are master story tellers. Many Cubans fake love to get an exit visa. My advise: take your time, do things slowly don't make commitments. Learn more about your partner, this can take years. The best is to live in Cuba for 5-6 six months and look at his behaviour. Do you speak enough Spanish to understand what the familly and friends say (behind your back?) this can be valuable info, nobody can fake 24 hrs each day. Ask advice from the Canadian Embassy or Immigration Services they have experience in fraudulent Cuban relationships.
Wish you good luck, follow your heart, but remain vigilant!

Truly, Sincere and Genuine Love in Cuba

by Lucy
(Canada)

Its been 5 days since I've been back from seeing my love... nothing feels more right then this... why does he have to be 3000 miles away from me? ten reasons why I know he is right for me

1. I can see myself grow old with him, rocking ont he front porch when we're 80

2. I feel comfortable both asking for and excepting help

3. I can let down my suit of armor

4. I can play with and feel my inner child

5. He respects my wisdom

6. I can share my secret thoughts and desires with

7. He brings out my tender side so well hidden from the rest of the world

8. He is supportive of my ambitions

9. He realizes a home in the suburbs and a garnet ring are as much of an expression of love as a poem or a card.

10. Dresses tastefully and conservatively and I am so proud to be seen with him.

This last visit he proposed to me..... gave me his grandmothers ring..... this was his proposal

" This ring is a part of my family, I want you to be a part of my family, no one else can I feel like this for, no one else can I think about so so much, and I want to be old with you and still hold your hand... with you everything feels so right... will you marry me?"

I was speechless and I definitely cried so many tears.... now I am engaged.... and I can not wait to be his wife... I can not wait to start my life with him.... life has just begun!!

He wants me to live with him for 6 months, I told him that I needed to think about it, because I dont know if I want to leave my family... and I asked him... how am I suppose to work and live down there... he said he would take care of me until we can figure things out...

There are so many negative things out there about cuban men... and dont get me wrong.. im sure that there are a lot of bad ones out there, but I just thought I would post a story that seems genuine since most stories are horror stories...

Comment Vic webmaster havana-guide.com
Thanks Lucy, after so many sad stories I do welcome a positive story.
Wish you all the best!

fooled or just a fool in Havana Cuba?

by Amy

I have the biggest "empty hole" in my stomach after reading all the previous posts about love in cuba. i want to believe that my "friend" is not like the jineteros that are so often described in the posts.
But there are so many similarities that my breath has been taken away.
I have a lump in my throat but I am going to jump into this forum to try to prove to myself that "friend" is honest, decent, and not a jinetero.
José is his name. He is a musician on the malecon. Yes, I know. You already have come to the conclusion because I said a musician on the malecon that he must be bad.
No so. He is a very talented guitar player with a beautiful voice. He is from Holguin but he would not make the kind of money he can make in Havana, so he had to move to Havana for work. He has left his family in Holguin to live the a life in a rooming house, in a small dingy room shared with many others.
He is so talented and its a shame that he cannot work closer to his home and family. In cuba you need to have a degree to play music in a government establishment. Since he has not a degree he is left to make a living by "begging" with his guitar and voice.
He is sweet and not loud and pushy like the others on the malecon. When we met he did not try to make conversation although he had plenty of time too. It was when I saw him nights later he very shyly made small talk.
He asked for nothing. He did not even ask to see me again.
For all I know, if I did not keep the "friendship" alive then he would of gained nothing.........and not ever seen me again.
So this leads me to believe he is genuine.
But after reading your posts I am numb. could I also of been one of the "mi Mujeres?"
If any of you know my "friend" it would mean so much to have feedback on him.
I know names are taken out of this post to keep his identity safe, I will say he plays in Barrio Chino and also the malecon. He actually looks a bit like a chino. He is tanned almost mulatto. He has dark sad eyes that tell a story without words.
He is thin, tall and always well dressed..............yes I do bring him clothes but I am now wondering where did the nice clothes come from before he met me?? I asked about his nice watch but he said someone gave it as a tip on for playing music.
He has never asked for anything........but my heart wants to give as I want him to have an easier existence.
Did he know how to play the game????? am I the loser? or are we both winners?
I am confused.

Comments by Vic Webmaster Havana-guide.com

Amy, I understand that you are confused, I guess that it is your first or second trip to Havana.
It took me many years to get a deeper insight in the Cubans and their way of life, and I do not pretend to be an expert, but your story sounds like what I call "The Havana Classic".
Sorry, this is no judgement, each story is unique, but...in Cuba nothing is what it seems! Enjoy life and your friend(s) in Havana, but don't get involved to deep! Cubans are sophisticated story inventors.
Some observations, be vigilant with Cubans in the tourist areas of
Old Havana, most of them are in one way or another jineteros. First thing "common Cubans" will look at is his clothing, does he wear sports shoes (Nike, Addidas, etc.) designer jeans, T-shirts? A watch, a golden chain, few Cubans can afford it. Income from his music? Did you know that many Cubans from Santiago and Holguin travel illegal to Havana, because they think that in Havana they can make more money from the tourists.
So enjoy life and friendship in Havana but don't get involved too deeply, you will rarely find true Cuban friendship at the malecon or other tourist places.

Who's Really Writing Those Emails in Cuba?

by Jessica
(Hamilton Ontario)

Vic. I wonder if you could let me know what you think about those emails which arrive from Cuba.

Who do you think is actually typing the words?.

I've been corresponding with my friend in Cuba for almost two years now and his emails arrive from different accounts with different names.

Obviously from friends or colleagues who work in an organisaton which have access to the net at a university, hospital or clinic.

It can be quite inhibiting at times because you never know who is actually writing the emails and who's reading them.

I am aware that Big Brother in Cuba reads all emails in and out of Cuba regardless of who's writing them.

My friend says he is the one who is typing the words and sitting at a computer.

But I have often wondered does he in fact give a note with what to write to a friend who types the email on his behalf.

What do you think Vic? From your experience and indepth knowledge of Cuba do Cubans pay others to write the mail for them?.

ANSWER by Vic Webmaster
Well first this Jessica, I am no clairvoyant! You can't see who's tapping the keyboard. Having said this I can tell my experience.
In normal circumstances a Cuban citizen goes to an
official internet cafe, and opens a Correo de Cuba email account (Cuban Post Office). You have to pay for the account and buy a fixed amount of "time credits" this can be a (money) problem for some Cubans. The Cubans themselfs type the text on one of the computers (10-15) available. The waiting time in the queues can be very long, sometimes many hours. Technical problems, occur frequently. So Cubans are a creative people and seek for solutions.

One of these solutions is to ask a friend or family member to type and send a (pre)written message. In this case there is no privacy, the sender reads the message too! Another solution used, your sender asks a friend (family) to use his computer / email account to send a message to you, so you might receive messages from different Cuban email accounts. Renting email accounts and email time is a widespread way to earn a little (black) money. Cubans that frequently use different email accounts use a kind of code, usually nicknames to indicate who's writing. For example when a friend write you from an unknown email address, but he starts the message... Hola, your "Black Chicken" (or "Black Dog") is here, when he's known under the nickname "Black Chicken". Cubans like to use "coded" language and nicknames. They do not write about politics, Big Brother is watching, but they use innocent words and names. When they speak about Papi, Tio (uncle), La China, La Gorda, La Rubia, etc. everyone knows who they mean. The problem with the different email accounts is that you frequently have to check your Spam filters, to check for mails from unknown and blocked addresses. When you frequently communicate with a friend you recognize after time his writing style, topics, words frequently used, misspellings etc. This can proof the origin of the writer.
Internet in Cuba

My Cuban Love Story

by Nickiblueyes
(England, UK)

Love in Cuba

No need for negativity.... here maybe a true love story!

I thought I would try and dispand some of the negativity when it comes to Cuban men for the lovely and loving ladies in the world.
They are not all bad, I agree it can be easy to fall for the lushness of the dark cuban skin, the sexy voice but really there are some very good men out there, whether it be Cuba, UK you get your jokers in all walks of life.
So, here is some postitive vibes, I met my lovely man on a tour in Nov 2010, I have been back twice since and just having returned from another fantastic trip to the Country I know that I have not and am not being scammed.
He is now coming to the UK in summer, and is keen to meet his future mother in law!!
It's an expensive relationship, but fully worth it and I dont think I would want to be or love anyone else that the wonderful Cuban man I have met.
Keep smiling everyone-I know I am :) x

Remark by Vic, Webmaster

It's not my intention to be negative or to comment on the life of others, just to warn you! (Anyway who am I?)
BUT be alert! I have seen, heard, read to much on this subject. Please don't call me negative, I am more of "a Realist". Having said this, just a few question to reflect on.
How will he integrate in his new country?
Don't underestimate the cultural differences and barriers. Does he speak the language well enough to get a job? Will he work, (study?) are you going to support him? Will he support his family in Cuba by sending money? Can you afford this? Note that several Cubans are getting homesickness after 2 or 3 years, don't underestimate this.
In case of a marriage, talk to a lawyer to protect your assets, I know of a British guy who lost half of his assets, when his Cuban wife wanted a divorce and hired a solicitor in London. Be careful with credit cards too, you only know him from two short trips to Cuba!

Only after 3-5 years in the UK you can evaluate your relationship (and his integration) earlier is too soon. In the meantime stay alert.
A red flag is when he frequents Cuban bars in the UK to meet other Cubans without your presence!
Wish you all the best, but protect yourself, stay alert!
Good Luck!
Love in Cuba

Love in Cuba. What warning signs should I be looking for?

by LoveCuba
(Canada)

I went to Varadero in march 2010 with a bunch of girls. We had a blast! I never expected to meet anyone there and wasn't looking to meet anyone. One day on the beach we were approached by one of the animation workers to play a game of volleyball. Once the game got started he singled me out and asked me to sit with him and we chatted. He then asked me to meet him that night for a drink before his second job at a disco downtown Varadero. So we met for a drink with one of my friends. After that I was busy with excursions and didnt see him for a couple of days. When I saw him again, he said he was looking for me in the last couple days. We chatted again and agreed to meet for a night out at a disco. So we met up and spent a lovely evening at the disco. He didn't want me to pay for anything, he was buying my drinks. He said i'm not interested in your money but in your heart... The following night we had miscommunication and I didn't meet him when I was supposed to. Well he had all of his coworkers looking for me on the resort and asking my friends where I was. So we met again the following evening for a walk and a cerveza before my departure. We exchanged a kiss and a "see you later", as he said he didn't want to say goodbye. He took down my phone number and email adress. He called me almost everyday, very quick calls as it is so expensive, but just to say a quick hello. He's been sending me texts as well and emails. He was straight up with me from the beginning and told me he was divorced and showed me pictures of his 10 year old daughter. He is 38 years old and I am 30 years old. Not that it makes a difference, but I am an attractive slim girl that has no problems meeting men here in Canada or anywhere else. He hasn't asked me for anything at all. He is just looking forward to my next visit and said he arranged with his boss at the resort to take a vacation week while I'm there. He would like us to rent a casa and spend the week together. I don't know what to think, I'm reading all these posts and am getting pretty discouraged. Has anyone have any luck at all with Cuban men? I mean I'm not a naive person that would get lost in a fake fairytale...etc...I guess the only way of knowing is to keep visiting him to get to know him better. But I'm assuming the workers on the resort must be pros at charming the tourists. Are there any ligit ones?
It seems to me that he is a hard worker, works at resort 6 days a week and has a second job at a disco in town several evenings a week. With tip and all... does it seem to make sense that he can afford to have a cell phone? Or does it mean he has girlfriends in other countries sending him money? If anyone has any tips or any experience with this kind of situation, let me know! it will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

A Friendship for Life or maybe more in Cuba

by Muchachaloca
(Italy)

Frienship in Cuba

I came back from cuba a few weeks ago and I'm a 26 year young woman with dark features mediterranean type I considered good looking.
I do speak spanish and a guy thought he can use me as a walking atm but I told him off!!
I met a other guy (same age as me) who works at a restaurant and we could not get our eyes off each other.
we talked and walked and spend time with each other and he bought me the drinks and I refused because I felt guilty him not having money and spending money on me!!
in my culture it is almost normal that guys actually spend money on the woman ....
and I felt very weird and ashamed to spend money on a guy because I know that they have pride too.
I did not spend a $ on this muchacho.

During our conversations I asked him if he had any relatives in Spain or the USA .. it turned to be that he has a brother and give me his contact information and I got to talk to him a few times.

He admitted that he has a child and want to leave cuba sooner or later.

If I call him at his house and not able to reach him there I know where to reach him !!at work where we have met!! he is hard working.
The duration of my stay there was over a month and I saw him almost daily at his work location.

He came to the airport unexpected to see me one more time .
He did not ask me for any money, gifts, cellphone
since I told him I want to come back and want to stay with him and agreed with it.
we spoke about my return to cuba.
I looked up airfares up and its to expensive to come back it would be more useful to send him the money than me being around and all this good bye drama again. He did refuse the $$ he want me to come back. I made it very clear :
that I'm either rich or wealthy and that I have to watch my money even living in Europe.
In addition to his I made it very clear to him that I'm aware of the conditions in cuba and the mind setting of cubans when it comes to tourists and try to fool them and marry them to get out of the island . For sure I'm a not the one that fall for this games or that kind of YUMA.
I had the privilege to travel to many places on this globe and I'm not the typical resort/beachhotel person I rather like to explore
the real nation/culture/people and made good/bad experience.

I have to admit that I'm in a relationship but I can't get this cuban muchacho (i have a weakness for latinos they are the best looking to me:) out of my mind. I did not cheat on my bf.
But sometimes life goes different ways and maybe this the case here.
I'm actually considering to marry him if that what it takes to get him out.
I told him that this can happen and but we go separate ways because I'm not interested in to be cheated on or being abused etc.
He clearly asked but what happens if I don`t want be apart from you?!
Friends of mine (latinos) talked to me and made it clear enough about cuba and its people...how they fool tourist etc.
who ever reads this post please before you judge me or badmouth me consider this fact that no human being is perfect and if we would be in their shoes we may would do the same thing.
There are people like me that just like to help and YES I do send money and stuff to cuba out of my own will !! I'm not rich I asked people if they sponsor me on that matter I was lucky.
I can`t help the entire world but where I can I will. I came across this site and this posts I had to smile because a few things sound so similar to me Sad but I think once you made a bad experience you should not fall again for it and let people use you. I hope we can learn out of this but always remember we are not perfect and we are not all the same I'm referring to the entire globe.
Sorry for my bad English :)

A Cuban's point of view

50 years of communism has taken its toll on the morality and self worth in the island. Cubans today are masters of manupliation and they seem to be doing it too well. To lie is a way of life, to steal and sell your body is often justified due to harsh economic times. Unfortunetly, many non-cubans tend to misunderstand this concept and are quick to jump to defend this type of behavior and actions without truly understanding the culture that exsists in Cuba today. I have visitied many poor miserable latin countires and I did'nt see this type abuse that one can only experience in Cuba. Being Cuban and having relatives in cuba, I too cannot understand why so many abusive, dishonest and manupulative people? Only advise I can render here is to be very careful with your so-called friends in Cuba as appearances are very misleading. At times I've been told that I should not generalize and all Cubans are not the same! Go ahead if it makes you feel better thinking this way and but the sad truth remains. These are not words of a bitter person, rather a person who can admit how my own culture and people reached a low point in society in live in today. A culture that embraces alcoholism, adultry, children growing up having multiple siblings from different fathers or mothers and mom or dad never around and often granparents are playing the role of a parent. These are reasons why we see the chaos in today's Cuba. Marriage, divorce, baptism, are just events, no understanding whatsoever to the real concept behind the real reason why we have these traditions.
Sad but real and it breaks my heart to write these words..

Havana Hustlers and Drugs in Havana Cuba

by Steffan
(Frankfurt)

We flew home from Havana last week. This involved spending our last day in Havana. An unpleasant experience is all I can say.

We were hassled continually. The weather was bad, it was raining, we had our luggage with us which did not make it easier.

We were continually approached by hustlers offering us everything from Taxis to Cigars, Women, and even drugs. We were shocked and disgusted. We had no idea that drugs even existed in Cuba.

One guy was particularly aggressive, twice we told him we did not need a taxi. Yet he would appear beside us in a shop or in the lobby of a hotel. He was relentless.

In the end we took a taxi just to shake him off.

We found Havana to be cold wet smelly and fully of undesirables.

We could not wait to leave. We had spent a couple of night at a hotel in Playa del Este as we had read so much about it on this site. The hotel attracted Havana low life.

There was a particularly obnoxious thug, a jeweller of 45 with his novia of 21. He looked like a gangster. He had paid for his novia and her family to spend the weeekend at the hotel.

He was loud, drank all day and all night and displayed his wealth by vulgarly pouring beer and champagne over his Havana novia and her mother's head. As if to say I throw or pour money away.

He asked my wife for her sunglasses. She refused saying she needed them as we had one more day. He then offered to buy them.

He had a thick gold chain and pendant round his neck which he said he would offer us for $800. We refused.

He woke us up at 8am saying he was going to breakfast with his loud novia who tred to push her way into our room. They saw our open suitcase on the bed and he kept asking if we 'Tiene Algo"?. We told him 'No tengo". He kept saying "Algo ,Algo'.

Then he started to sniff loudly as if to intimate what he wanted. We closed the door on him and ignored him for the rest of our stay.

A vile man, small very ugly big nose and bigger belly, yet he had a gorgeous but tacky and loud 21 year old whom he was clearly maintaining along with her poor family whom he insulted and showed up showering them in beer and champagne, drenching them and shouting at the top of his voice.

Obnoxious. If he is typical of Havana we never want to return.

We breathed a sigh of relief as our plane took to the sky.

Comments by Vic, Havana-Guide
It's a pity that Havana disappoints you. Maybe, there could be more hustlers this time, due to the economic crisis. I don't know if you are a frequent traveller but I have seen similar behavior in many other poor cities in North and Central Africa, other Caribbean countries etc. To avoid problems with hustlers, ignore them, don't speak to them, do not respond just walk by. They will not touch you, in Cuba they can get a severe punishment for harrassing tourists.
Cuba need the tourist revenues, the promotion of cheap hotels with all-inclusive rates (Havana del Este and Varadero) attracts the wrong kind of tourists what I call the "fun and booze tourists"
especially Italians and Russian have a reputation, but again this is no Havana or Cuba exclusivity. Go to Spain, Ibiza, the Mediterranean islands etc. Dominican Republic, Mexico, etc. you will see similar facts or worse!
I can show you places in London, Paris, New York
worse than in Havana. Honestly, I feel safer in Havana than in most big Western cities.

Deception in Cuba

by Americana
(FL, USA)

Even When He Made It Out Of Cuba the Deception Continued

I am sitting here one month out of a relationship with a Cuban guy and still in shock at how quickly he turned on me. Reading these posts (sadly) are the only thing helping me know that it is for the best. I see by reading here that there is a pervasive cultural issue here, and I wish I'd found this site before I got my heart so into this guy. I met my ex here in the good ol' U S of A. He is a former national athlete who came to the US wetfoot/dryfoot about 3 years ago.
Because of his athletic training, he has a good job (not just for a recent immigrant, but by moderate American standards, too). He is very intelligent and speaks English alot better than I speak Spanish. We hit it off right away, had wonderful long conversations (including him assuring me on numerous occasions that there was no one else and that even though he has a daughter back in Cuba that he & his baby mama were not involved and that she had another boyfriend).
I was not asked to buy anything. All I did was help him with some stuff that I as a native understand better than him (negotiating the purchase of a car, navigating through insurance documents, etc.) He cooked for me, paid when we went out and did nice little things for me often. He was insistant that we be exclusive and that I tell others who were interested in me that I was taken (fortunately I was smart enough not to do that). Possessiveness aside, I was just beginning to think I had done something right to deserve such a great guy when 2 things happened

1) I was made aware that his status was shown as "engaged" to someone on a social networking site. When I asked him about it he explained it away as an ex-girlfriend (also state side) who had helped him set up the site thus had his password. I believed this was possible since he was very forthcomming with personal info (I have is soc sec #, DL # and other personal info myself). He also got upset with me for the way I approached him about it.

2) While I was travelling abroad, I'd sent him an email (his email address) to let him know I made it safely. I received a reply (from his email address) in that translated English telling me (paraphrasing) that "This is his wife. He is only having an affair with you. Leave us alone."
I replied to that email. He of course intercepted it and replied that it was the ex-girlfriend again. We discussed it. I asked him if there was anything unresolved he said "no" and that he would change his passwords and that was that. When I returned, he still cooked for me, was attentive with the "I love you's" and "Te quiero mi cielo's" up until 2 days before he texted me "it is over" leaving me in shock. He claims he is going back to Cuba due to the illness of his daughters mom (because of the daughter). But why break up? and how can he really think that he will be of any use in Cuba when he has shown them he can't be trusted. I can't help but to think there is another story. This site and time are what is helping me right now. I'm sure with time this will pass, but ladies DO NOT THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE HE HAS MADE IT OUT OF CUBA THAT CUBA HAS MADE IT OUT OF HIM. Take your time and guard your heart. I didn't and now I am paying the price in hurt feelings and suffering.

Comments by Vic, webmaster Havana-guide.com

Sad story, to my knowledge and experience I can only add that this "Cuban love lifestyle" is an embedded cultural pattern repeated in the entire Cuban society. There are countless broken families in Cuba, a relation for a few years is the rule, for a lifetime the exception. Most foreigners think that Cubans only cheat on yumas, trust me the cheating among Cubans is worse.
Americana, I wish you strenght and more happiness
in your life.

Don't marry a cuban!!

by louisa
(uk)

I married a cubano in 2007,just b4 we married I found out that he lived in the same house as his ex and 2 young sons, I should have run I guess but he explained it was his house and he lived in a seperate part and they were finished.I married anyway, thought it was just a cuban complication etc. I went 5 times to cuba in the end, and he came to the uk in 2008, then the problems began.
On the second day he accused me of not loving him and he left his children 4 me! He became very arrogant and started to complain about absolutely everything, nothing was good enough! He accused me of not preparing for his arrival, as he could'nt get a job as his english was terrible.
We had decided b4 we married to live in Spain where my sister lives.
I packed up my rented house, sold my belongings to help support him, paid 4 his Schengen visa and the rest!, booked the tickets, this all took 2 months. He was so rude to me, I was shocked! He would even wake me up at 4am for sex as he would watch telly all night, and after he would wash his p... and go back and watch more telly. He kept ordering me around like a slave, complaining if something was even slightly untidy (he wouldn't do any housework whatsoever and said he was a machoista and in his house it wasn't his problem to wash up or do anything) he wouldn't even go to the supermarket but still complained bout every single thing I cooked (I'm a good cook)
I was sooo stressed out and nearly sent him back but thought I do give it one more shot in Spain.
I was suspicious as an Italian friend had given him a cashpoint card and put cash in for him all of which he spent on mobile calls, fags and once gave me my train fare.
My money was running out, he told me to get my aunt to give us some cash and to tell her if she didn't he would go to Italy!!!without me! He had a job offer in Mallorca and I said he could go without me and I would join him in a month or so. Anyway we ended up having a terribe raw one evening and I told him what I thought about his behaviour. It got really nasty and he slapped me and me to him, and then he punched my face. I tried to sort it out the next day, but he had already packed and said he was gonna divorce me. I told him not to re-enter the UK if he did leave, to get his full permission to be out of Cuba from the embassy he then said ok well have a month break then.

Then the penny dropped.
I woke up on the sofa the next day to find he had gone. He text me saying he was in the local park all night but he wasn't and when I called his phone it was an international ring tone! What a nitemare! As far as I know he is back in Cuba as I received a text 3 months later asking me to stop sending him abusive texts from his old cuban phone!! I guess his scengan ran out then and his big plans backfired, and he never did love me, he loved the idea of an easy life, he thought he was walking into Buckingham palace, he was a completely different man to the one I met in cuba who I thought would treat me well,- mandalo al carajo!!!!!!ps I would have been happy to live in cuba.
The end.

The Biggest Rogue In Cuba

by Elsa
(Montreal)

We met on Couch Surfing a global website where like cash strapped students like me can find a couch anywhere in the world.

I was not aware Rodolfo's page was run by a chubby little woman from Essen Germany who fancied him rotten and had a face like Ms Piggy from the Muppet Show.

Rodolfo was a fake, but an extremely educated articulate fake who had a way with words.

But his bright smile and perfect white teeth could charm the birds from the trees or sell snow to Alaska.

Boy did he have a way with words. He never stopped. From day one i was bombarded with emails. I felt swamped,asphyxiated, suffocated.

His words were sickly sweet and so fake.

"Thank You For Existing'

"Thank You For Being In My World'.

was a typical phrase.

Pass the Sick Bag pleeeeze!!.

Castro was paying this loafer to write such B.S. Picking up the tab for Rodolfo to idle his days away online, in his quest to lampoon a Yuma to fly him to a better life. Though life in Havana was not too bad for this loafer.

Perhaps Castro was in on the scam and wanted this loser out, to offload him to some hapless Yuma.

Rodolfo worked for some kind of cultural department in Havana and spent his days and nights online. The man was glued to the computer.

This cheesy charmer with the biggest grin had profiles on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and just about every goddam social website that could help him snare, charm some gullible Yuma into flying his lazy ass out to a better life.

Is it any wonder that Raul Castro made the wise decision earlier this year to offload 1 million loafers like Rodolfo from his cash strapped payroll.

I fail to see what work if any Rodolfo ever did, so busy was he charming women online all day.

He was very elaborate with the truth.

His threadbare couch existed for sure. But he failed to admit it was a 20 mile cab ride from central Havana, and this to-ing and fro-ing cost me way more than a casa particular in the centre would have cost.

Rodlfo was big on 'culture' and nightlife, he high fived every loser in Havana Veija and the Malecon and wanted to cruise all of the nightspots, at guess who's expense?.

He was also always very very hungry, so guess who ended up having to fork out for dinner for him, his elderly mother and 13 year old daughter?.

I drew the line at buying dinner for his 'Sister' though who was a dead ringer for their daughter. She was fooling no one. I may be naive, but not that naive.

My visit to Cuba did not get off to a great start when on the first night he was arrested for being a 'Jinitero'.

Hardly a barrel of laughs having to bail out a hustler loser from a jail on your first night in Cuba.

By now I was beginning to despise the very sight of this charmer by the minute and thinking '...Thank You Raul' for wising up and offloading such losers who sit on their fat butt all day surfing the net on social websites or the lazy ass receptons that man every desk n every hotel in Cuba checking their bouffants, blue eye shadow and filing their nails.

I reported Rodolfo to Couch Surfing and it took quite a few emails to their laid back hippy culture at their admin to convince them this guy really was a fake, and that his page was being operated from Germany.

Other C.Surfers who had been hosted by him then sent me testimonials, reality stories of similar experiences to mine, long cab rides, arrests, etc, before they finally removed his fake profile.

Ms Piggy in Essen Germany was furious with me, and bombarded me with angry emails.

I had dashed her hopes of some naive C. Surfer helping to reunite her with her Latin charmer.

Shame!.

Perhaps I had done her a massive favour. This playboy would have done a Houdini vanishing act from Germany from Ms Piggy within a week.

I blocked Ms Piggy and her loser and vowed to be more aware and learn to read between the lines next time.

All those glowing complimentary 'reviews' on websites like Couch Surfing are written out of politeness. Not wanting to be negative, it's easier to be 'nice'.

The reality is almost always very different as I discovered.

Cuban-american men: values and attitudes

I have been dating a Cuban-american. I really like him but I see red flags here and there. Some of his behavior seems closer to that of a Cuban in Cuba even though he has been in USA for more than ten years.

Is it possible that some of the values and attitudes from the tough times in Cuba are still entrenched on him?
Examples: he doesn't like to work but he likes expensive clothes, he's always talking about different types of deals (from how to avoid paying taxes to getting a free education to whatever he could get without actually paying for it). It's like his mind is constantly working on a plan to serve his immediate needs. I am worried that he might still have a "jinetero" mentality after all these years and that he might be using me to get ahead. Is this just him and his own flaws or can we say there is a pattern on Cuban exiles that I should watch out for?

Comments by Vic webmaster Havana-guide.com
First this: some people want to explain everything
by the "Cuban Jinetero mentality". The jinetero's are only a small part of the Cubans, who have contact with the foreigners. The ordinary Cubans all have a "negocio" (a business) everybody is selling something to another to survive. The tricks and defrauding of the tourists is the same among Cubans. Among Cubans, cheating is not called jineterism but "negocio" (doing business). Everybody is selling to everybody it's a survival reflex. This reflex is deeply embedded in the Cuban mentality and has historical roots.

A second fact, due to their political system, Cubans are used to the fact that everything is free because, their healthcare, education etc. are free, there's inexpensive food (ration book). A growing mentality among the young Cubans is, why should I work for 10 or 20 dollar per month, when I can earn each day 3-5 dollars on the streets. There is a huge and growing group of broken families. A partner for a lifetime is the exception, three or more partners in your life the rule. Official statistics say that 70% of all marriages in Cuba end in divorce, but lots of Cubans live together without marriage, so the divorce rate might be higher.
All this to say, maybe your "Cuban American" does not know what "real work" is, has never seen a "real family life", education is not only going to school, but also an inspiring family life, values and attitudes in life. I think you can't blame him for this behavior, it's deeply entrenched in the Cuban nature. Of course there are exceptions, Cubans are intelligent people, but I guess that changing the character of your "Cuban American" will not be that easy.
Good Luck!

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