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Cuban-american men: values and attitudes

I have been dating a Cuban-american. I really like him but I see red flags here and there. Some of his behavior seems closer to that of a Cuban in Cuba even though he has been in USA for more than ten years.

Is it possible that some of the values and attitudes from the tough times in Cuba are still entrenched on him?
Examples: he doesn't like to work but he likes expensive clothes, he's always talking about different types of deals (from how to avoid paying taxes to getting a free education to whatever he could get without actually paying for it). It's like his mind is constantly working on a plan to serve his immediate needs. I am worried that he might still have a "jinetero" mentality after all these years and that he might be using me to get ahead. Is this just him and his own flaws or can we say there is a pattern on Cuban exiles that I should watch out for?


Comments by Vic webmaster
The jinetero's are only a small part of the Cubans, who have contact with the foreigners. The ordinary Cubans all have a "negocio" (a business) everybody is selling something to another to survive. The tricks and defrauding of the tourists is the same among Cubans. Among Cubans, cheating is not called jineterism but "negocio" (doing business). Everybody is selling to everybody it's a survival reflex. This reflex is deeply embedded in the Cuban mentality and has historical roots.

A second fact, due to their political system, Cubans are used to the fact that everything is free because, their healthcare, education etc. are free, there's inexpensive food (ration book). A growing mentality among the young Cubans is, why should I work for 10 or 20 dollar per month, when I can earn each day 3-5 dollars on the streets. There is a huge and growing group of broken families. A partner for a lifetime is the exception, three or more partners in your life the rule. Official statistics say that 70% of all marriages in Cuba end in divorce, but lots of Cubans live together without marriage, so the divorce rate might be higher.
All this to say, maybe your "Cuban American" does not know what "real work" is, has never seen a "real family life", education is not only going to school, but also an inspiring family life, values and attitudes in life. I think you can't blame him for this behavior, it's deeply entrenched in the Cuban nature. Of course there are exceptions, Cubans are intelligent people, but I guess that changing the character of your "Cuban American" will not be that easy.
Good Luck!



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Nov 18, 2016
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Fresh off the boat NEW
by: Anonymous

That guy is not a Cuban American. He seems fresh off the boat. Stay away from that. He should be deported. I'm a Cuban American woman. My parents came to the states in 1962 and I was 3 yrs old.

Aug 24, 2016
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Yumas NEW
by: Pima

It's unfortunate that people of this island are paid escorts. They will get your money, indirectly or directky. They are not free to come n go, so they must use thier bodies to try and get the freedom. W hat else do they have to offer. It's the (rent a friend) system down there. I feel sad for the people of this island, but we have helped create it too. We pay thier phone bilks, we buy lunch and drinks, and they repay you with sex and dancing. Crazy as it is, cuba is the love island...

Mar 13, 2016
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Elbere or Ebden Moulton NEW
by: Anonymous

I travelled to Cuba in 2015,and was conned by a guy there by the name of Elbere Moulton..sometimes calls himself Ebden,be vary awar of this man,he seems nice and was very good lover,but turned out to be nothing but a lire,a thief and a serial womaniser !!

Nov 06, 2015
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Jun 06, 2015
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by: Anonymous

Am a Ghanaian nurse workn with one cuban doctor on a mission in Ghana who loves me sooo much nd i do love him greatly too bt he is married nd have two daughters his mission ends july 26th he claims he will cum bck for me bt am kinna scared wat if he neva cums bck although he keeps on assuryn me dat he definately gonna cum bck i love him nd i promise to wait for him all my life he is the best man in my life he gave me my first pregnancy nd unfortunately for me it aborted he was ready for me to bear the baby he loves mee sooo much bt b4 we startd datn we were frnds so he used to talk abt a whole lot with me he said he had a mistress in cuba plus his wife he claims he dnt hv any contract with anybody in his country as in no wedn anybody jux dat he tuk the woman to his haus nd had two daughters he said he love me soo much nd will cum bck for me is this real?am 22yrs nd he is 43 i love him sooo much he makes me feel gud always his eyes luks real anytym he tells he loves me nd will always cum bck,he has done soo many stuffs that makes me trust him always cryn for me defendn me nd protectn me as wel he loves me sooo much but i get soo scared wen i read about cuban on google,will he eva cum bck?

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Jan 06, 2015
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Misunderstood NEW
by: Delilah

I reject the statements an false analogies.
Being a lazy bum attempting to "getover" has nothing to do with being "Cuban" It is the character of the Make you have chosen to date.
The character flaw can be found in ALL humans regardless of race, sex, religion or national origin.
I would hope you would Know that.
Dont blame your mate's lack of entrepreneurship on his culture, blame it on HIM and Yourself for allowing it.

Jan 06, 2015
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Misunderstood NEW
by: Delilah

I reject the statements an false analogies.
Being a lazy bum attempting to "getover" has nothing to do with being "Cuban" It is the character of the Make you have chosen to date.
The character flaw can be found in ALL humans regardless of race, sex, religion or national origin.
I would hope you would Know that.
Dont blame your mate's lack of entrepreneurship on his culture, blame it on HIM and Yourself for allowing it.

Nov 01, 2014
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Elbere Moulton NEW
by: Anonymous

BEWARE of this man Elbere Moulton-schoolteacher,if you are an older western woman travelling in Cuba..

Jul 02, 2014
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sorry for posting it twice NEW
by: Libby

Also, sorry ladies for posting this twice! Lol that's embarrassing. The website wasn't letting me post my first comment. And after I redid it, they both popped up. :/ again, any advice appreciated. Kisses!
-Libby

Jul 02, 2014
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I really like this Cuban guy... and... NEW
by: Libby

Hi all,
I'm an 18 year old female and I really like this Cuban guy that I met through school. He came over from Cuba, I'm not sure exactly when, but he still struggles with his English and he has a thick accent(so maybe he has not been here so long?). Anyway, I've noticed things about him such as he has great family values, he loves his cigars and coffee, He loves expensive clothes, watches, and cologne. And he is a total flirt. He calls all the women pretty, and he often slipped his arm around my waist or shoulders and compliments me... I've fallen under his spell, he is quite the charmer and knows just what to say. But THAT worries me. I'm thinking about responding to him and telling him I am interested.
I just don't know what to think, if I am just one of his many girls. Also, after reading what you all posted, I really don't want to date a cheat, a liar, and EPSPECIALLY not an abuser. I grew up in an abusive household and I do not need that in my life again.

Should I move on? I know that all men are different. Keep in mind ladies, I REALLY like him. :/ Thanks!!

Jul 02, 2014
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I like this Cuban guy... and.... NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi all,
I'm an 18 year old girl and I like this Cuban guy that I met at school. He came over from Cuba but I'm not exactly sure when, he never told me but he did say that he was born there and he goes back to visit as often as he can. He is my age and he still struggles with English, he has a really thick accent. He is very family oriented (something that I like about him) and kind. I've noticed things about him like he loves expensive clothes, and cologne. He smokes cigars a lot and he loves his coffee... I also notice that he tends to flirt a lot. He calls all the women beautiful and gives them compliments.. he's often slipped his arm around me and flirts with me a lot.. like I said, I've kind of fallen for his charms. He has implied going on a date with me and I'm thinking about showing that I am interested and responding to these "advancements" or whatever you want to call them, lol.

BUT... after reading this, I am somewhat nervous. I don't think he would be abusive... but then again, maybe this is all just an act? His charm, and everything. Ugh, ladies, I like him soooo much. I really do. :( but now, I don't know what to do. I don't want to date a cheat or an abusive man.

Give me advice please. Thank you so much. Again, I really like him. :( I don't even know if he really likes me or if I am just "one of the many girls". Why does he have to be so charming?? Ugh.


Apr 29, 2014
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Really?? NEW
by: Anonymous

I came across this and i have to chuckle, you want to understand the man that treats you like crap? I'm a cuban woman and yes there are men that are disgusting and awful, but being an awful toxic person has nothing to do with your nationality. I suggest you spend your time getting out of a bad relationship and not waste it trying to understand a person who does not respect or care for you.

Mar 10, 2014
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Help with cuban men
by: Anonymous

Cuban Men: Really glad I came upon this post; I'd never dated a Cuban man and in 2 weeks time married one; I've found him to be a bully and possessive; I have no friends at all left as he's taken me away from them; he's violent ; yet a second later loving; I'm married; I'm trying to make the best of it but really need advise on my 50 yr old Cuban man; he comes from a noteable famiy in TX. however I've never been treated so badly by a man in my 48 years; I appreciate any help understanding him.

Jan 24, 2014
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no matter how many years
by: Anonymous

It is a matter of family values. My ex husband came when he was 14 to the usa he is now 59. His father was a cheat and a thief and so is he.

On the other hand in my family the men are faithful and hard workers.

Gabage is gabage period.

Dec 23, 2013
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There are jineteros in every country in the world
by: Anonymous

If you go to country X, and meet people in the street it is more than likely you will meet the worse kind of people, no matter what if X is Cuba or any other country.

For instance, if you go to NY, it is likely you meet the garbish of NY than the best of NY. In particular, if you don't know the culture, the places, the people. Those people you are likely to meet are the master in manipulation, etc.
It takes time to find the best people in any place in the world.

Have you asked yourself how come that you have had problems to find a good partner in your home country but abroad it happened very fast?
The answer is:
1) You opened your mind at the new Place
2) You probably met a master in manipulation.

The case of "Cuba" is just an example.
There are a lot of "jineteros/jineteras" in the world, it is not a Cuban invention.
Don't believe me? Rent a Ferrari and park it in front of a night club. You will get attention of the opposite sex (and even homosexuals!!) in zero time.

Please, be mature, and when you see things, put them into a larger context. Everything you see, it is just a particualr case of a more general rule.



Dec 19, 2010
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Ladies We Have All Been There!
by: Claire

Let our posts, our honest accounts of con men be a warning to other women contemplating a visit to Cuba.

I was not looking for love, far from it. I was very happy with life. But Cubans are masters at fraud deception and lies.

I went there with some friends two years ago, we stayed at Guardalavaca for a week then took a bus to other parts of the island. I ran into him at the local Casa de La Trova, and when we met he seemed to be sweet kind gentle man. How wrong I was!.

He bombarded me with emails for two years, declaring his love, how he missed me, begging me to return.

He lives really off the beaten track. It involves a flight to Holguin, then bus or very expensive taxi, or a very uncomfortable journey in a jeep. I am talking hard work to get to his town, and also expensive.

I brought a couple of presents, sports shirt and pair of jeans, mindful of the fact I did not want to be used, or seen as a pushover.

The look on his face said it all, he expected a cellphone and spent the next two weeks lecturing me on how necessary a phone was if we were to continue to communicate.


Every time we met there was some klnd of lecture, be it a room he had found, how much he needed to paint his home etc. etc.


I told him I only had enough money for my stay, did not tell him I had my cellphone with me.

Somehow on my last night he got round me.

Begged me at the Cornishe, waves crashing how much he needed to buy a phone and how much he loved me, adored me, and wanted to text me each day.

We were born for each other.
(make me want to puke in hindsight)

Stupidly I returned to me casa and brought down the contents of my case. His eyes lit up when he said it could fetch at least 100 cuc when he sold them.

He would meet me at the airport next to say good bye, we kissed.

He never showed up next and never heard from him again.

I plan on sending a picture of him to my local Cuban Embassy and Tourism office as a warning to other potential victims of this con man.

We need to take such action if we do not these con artists will continue to prey on other hapless victims.




Nov 23, 2010
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He's A Parasite Who Used You!
by: Daniella

To Anonymous. I have heard similar stories to yours time annd time again.

This is clear from when you wrote that he does not like to work and expects something for nothing.

Regardless of wether they never left the island or are Cubanc American old habits dies hard. A generation of Cuban men just do not like to work and why should they when they have a Yuma go out to work to keep them.

Or who allows them to have access to unemployment or child allowance? Disgusting as it may sound it happening and is happening. Because women like you allow it to happen.


Their heart is always elsewhere else. They use you and lie to you because you maintain them but they are committed to another woman but playing you because it suites them for the time being.

Accept it you were being used. What attracted you to a lazy man who uses women to live? How could you love much lessrespect such a man?

Cuban men are masters manipulation. Regardless of whether they are 'wet foot dry foot' as you refer to them. And regardless of whether they are 'Cuban Americano' or never set foot from the island. They are master liars and cheaters and users of women.

My ex husband Ernesto from Santiago destroyed my life. I studied Music in Cuba. Have a Master's degree. We met in Santiago and he destroyed my life.

He is/ was a violent bully who used an older German woman with money to fly him to Germany.

He conned her, lied to her, and she believed him. He used her.

All the time he was in Germany he kept emailing and texting me in London telling me how much she revolted him, how her crepey skin her wrinkles turned his stomach but he was biding his time until his papers came through.

The day they did he flew to London, within a month I saw his true side. He never worked, he went out to latin clubs every night.

He cheated on me. He stole our baby's family allowance little that it was, so he could go out drinking with other women.

When I challenged him he would punch me even when I was six months pregnant. I nearly lost our baby.

He destroyed my life and it was only with the help of the police and an injunction for violence that I managed t get rid of him.

He was the worst thing that ever happened in my life.

A Santiago lazy loser . A violent cheating thug. I was in therapy for a year after I kicked him out. My total self esteem had gone. I was in depression.

Best think I did was kick him out before he damaged out daughter.

Nov 20, 2010
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reply to anonymous
by: Grace

I do think your flogging a dead horse, as your man has had 10 years to get on, but he is still standing still, and yes, I do believe its inbred in them, as they havent really had good role models.
But, that is no excuse, as surely they would want to try and better themselves, but there is something that clogs their brains, that says.. 'why should I' when there is someone else doing all the hard work.

Yes, families have a lot to do with it, ie different fathers, mothers etc, but they are not the only country that has these problems, so why should we even think to make allowances for them.

You would think they want to better themselves, ie, wants their kids to grow up with values etc, but when they get a 'yuma' who does all their thinking, planning, and most importantly paying, what incentive does that give them to get on and better themselves.

You can lead to horse to water, but you can't make it drink, so, if the man doesn't want to better himself, or at least try, then its not worth wasting any more time on him.

Nov 19, 2010
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I Sympathise With you I've Been There.
by: Susan

I can sympathise with the orginal poster. I have been there and believe me it does not get better. If anything it gets a lot worse and your life ticks by and you are on a road to nowhere but poverty and misery.

I met my Jinetero in Santiago de Cuba ten years ago. He put pressure on me to marry. I became pregnant so it seem like a good idea that my daughter have a father.

I am not earning a great deal, but since he came to London he has not done an honest day's work.

He has played around the night salsa club scene like most Cuban men who do not want to work and prefer to sleep in till midday and collect social security and reply on their women for extra like cigarettes and beer.

He calls himself a D.J. which is laughable since he has never earned a penny from this, he formed a band but same thing, no money coming in and most of them use the night club scene to pick up younger women.

I am home every night with my daughter, he is out on the town. I have told him that unless he gets himself a proper day job, a job that pays money and helps to support our daughter then he will have to return to Cuba because I am tired of supporting him.

Had I not become pregnant I would never have married him and paid out the fortune it cost me to bring him here.

To women on here take my advise, do not let them get you pregnant.

They see it as an air fare, passport and meal ticket out of Cuba. And a means to send money home to their dependents in Cuba at our expense.


Nov 18, 2010
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I just posted "my 2 cents" In Never marry a Cubana"
by: Anonymous

Reading these posts is helping me understand my experience with a recent (3 year) wet/foot dry foot guy. On the contrary my ex is a very hard worker and very opportunistic. He did though seem as though the world should always revolve around him and what was important to him. He also seems quite disenfranchised with the economic downturn here in the US. As I stated in my previous post he recently broke up with me and claims to be going back to Cuba for good due to fmaily illness (although everyone tells me that is next to impossible).

To you I say that the "not wanting to work" thing does sound odd. Despite all other bad things I could say about my ex, he is a hard worker and seemed determined to get ahead in business (more negocio but maybe a little jinetero, too).

Nov 18, 2010
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10 Year's?-Que pasa??
by: Silvana Teresa

Hola,
When my parent's immigrated to Canada after the 2nd world war it took them a matter of a few year's to get down to business in Canada and immediatey learn the way's of the land.
Now you tell me that Mr Cuba has been in the good old USA for ten year's and has not taken advantage of the freedom and opportunity's that are available to him---que cojone's pasa aqui???
He is worse then the Cuban's in Cuba under Castro's Govn't.
Now we all know that even Cuban's given the freedom and opportunity to better themselve's are still gente de mierda,no wonder Fidel has been in power all these year's,look at the kind of humanity he has to deal with.
If your Mr Cuba has nothing to show for his 10 year's of opportunity,then he is just another lazy ASS jinetero and nothing at this point will change him,if you support him,then you are only proving to him that there is a sucker born every minute.
It's not his past that he is wanting to relive, he want's you to give up your future to his warped and hopless way of life.
Take care,
Silvana Teresa

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