Deception in Cuba
Even When He Made It Out Of Cuba the Deception Continued
I am sitting here one month out of a relationship with a Cuban guy and still in shock at how quickly he turned on me. Reading these posts (sadly) are the only thing helping me know that it is for the best. I see by reading here that there is a pervasive cultural issue here, and I wish I'd found this site before I got my heart so into this guy. I met my ex here in the good ol' U S of A. He is a former national athlete who came to the US wetfoot/dryfoot about 3 years ago.
Because of his athletic training, he has a good job (not just for a recent immigrant, but by moderate American standards, too). He is very intelligent and speaks English alot better than I speak Spanish. We hit it off right away, had wonderful long conversations (including him assuring me on numerous occasions that there was no one else and that even though he has a daughter back in Cuba that he & his baby mama were not involved and that she had another boyfriend).
I was not asked to buy anything. All I did was help him with some stuff that I as a native understand better than him (negotiating the purchase of a car, navigating through insurance documents, etc.) He cooked for me, paid when we went out and did nice little things for me often. He was insistant that we be exclusive and that I tell others who were interested in me that I was taken (fortunately I was smart enough not to do that). Possessiveness aside, I was just beginning to think I had done something right to deserve such a great guy when 2 things happened
1) I was made aware that his status was shown as "engaged" to someone on a social networking site. When I asked him about it he explained it away as an ex-girlfriend (also state side) who had helped him set up the site thus had his password. I believed this was possible since he was very forthcomming with personal info (I have is soc sec #, DL # and other personal info myself). He also got upset with me for the way I approached him about it.
2) While I was travelling abroad, I'd sent him an email (his email address) to let him know I made it safely. I received a reply (from his email address) in that translated English telling me (paraphrasing) that "This is his wife. He is only having an affair with you. Leave us alone."
I replied to that email. He of course intercepted it and replied that it was the ex-girlfriend again. We discussed it. I asked him if there was anything unresolved he said "no" and that he would change his passwords and that was that. When I returned, he still cooked for me, was attentive with the "I love you's" and "Te quiero mi cielo's" up until 2 days before he texted me "it is over" leaving me in shock. He claims he is going back to Cuba due to the illness of his daughters mom (because of the daughter). But why break up? and how can he really think that he will be of any use in Cuba when he has shown them he can't be trusted. I can't help but to think there is another story. This site and time are what is helping me right now. I'm sure with time this will pass, but ladies DO NOT THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE HE HAS MADE IT OUT OF CUBA THAT CUBA HAS MADE IT OUT OF HIM. Take your time and guard your heart. I didn't and now I am paying the price in hurt feelings and suffering.
Comments by Vic, webmaster
Sad story, to my knowledge and experience I can only add that this "Cuban love lifestyle" is an embedded cultural pattern repeated in the entire Cuban society. There are countless broken families in Cuba, a relation for a few years is the rule, for a lifetime the exception. Most foreigners think that Cubans only cheat on yumas, trust me the cheating among Cubans is worse.
Americana, I wish you strenght and more happiness
in your life.