logo for havana-guide.com
leftimage-3col for havana-guide.com

Deception in Cuba

by Americana

Even When He Made It Out Of Cuba the Deception Continued

I am sitting here one month out of a relationship with a Cuban guy and still in shock at how quickly he turned on me. Reading these posts (sadly) are the only thing helping me know that it is for the best. I see by reading here that there is a pervasive cultural issue here, and I wish I'd found this site before I got my heart so into this guy. I met my ex here in the good ol' U S of A. He is a former national athlete who came to the US wetfoot/dryfoot about 3 years ago.
Because of his athletic training, he has a good job (not just for a recent immigrant, but by moderate American standards, too). He is very intelligent and speaks English alot better than I speak Spanish. We hit it off right away, had wonderful long conversations (including him assuring me on numerous occasions that there was no one else and that even though he has a daughter back in Cuba that he & his baby mama were not involved and that she had another boyfriend).
I was not asked to buy anything. All I did was help him with some stuff that I as a native understand better than him (negotiating the purchase of a car, navigating through insurance documents, etc.) He cooked for me, paid when we went out and did nice little things for me often. He was insistant that we be exclusive and that I tell others who were interested in me that I was taken (fortunately I was smart enough not to do that). Possessiveness aside, I was just beginning to think I had done something right to deserve such a great guy when 2 things happened

1) I was made aware that his status was shown as "engaged" to someone on a social networking site. When I asked him about it he explained it away as an ex-girlfriend (also state side) who had helped him set up the site thus had his password. I believed this was possible since he was very forthcomming with personal info (I have is soc sec #, DL # and other personal info myself). He also got upset with me for the way I approached him about it.

2) While I was travelling abroad, I'd sent him an email (his email address) to let him know I made it safely. I received a reply (from his email address) in that translated English telling me (paraphrasing) that "This is his wife. He is only having an affair with you. Leave us alone."
I replied to that email. He of course intercepted it and replied that it was the ex-girlfriend again. We discussed it. I asked him if there was anything unresolved he said "no" and that he would change his passwords and that was that. When I returned, he still cooked for me, was attentive with the "I love you's" and "Te quiero mi cielo's" up until 2 days before he texted me "it is over" leaving me in shock. He claims he is going back to Cuba due to the illness of his daughters mom (because of the daughter). But why break up? and how can he really think that he will be of any use in Cuba when he has shown them he can't be trusted. I can't help but to think there is another story. This site and time are what is helping me right now. I'm sure with time this will pass, but ladies DO NOT THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE HE HAS MADE IT OUT OF CUBA THAT CUBA HAS MADE IT OUT OF HIM. Take your time and guard your heart. I didn't and now I am paying the price in hurt feelings and suffering.

Comments by Vic, webmaster

Sad story, to my knowledge and experience I can only add that this "Cuban love lifestyle" is an embedded cultural pattern repeated in the entire Cuban society. There are countless broken families in Cuba, a relation for a few years is the rule, for a lifetime the exception. Most foreigners think that Cubans only cheat on yumas, trust me the cheating among Cubans is worse.
Americana, I wish you strenght and more happiness
in your life.

Comments for Deception in Cuba

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Oct 14, 2015
Game Hack NEW
by: Anonymous

monster legends dicas These you will then see the most important thing, the application provides you a website a powerful important internet page: clash of clans gemmes illimité android

Oct 13, 2015
buy youtube subs NEW
by: Anonymous

buy youtube subs Reading this info So I'm happy to express that I’ve a very excellent uncanny feeling I came upon exactly what I needed! buy view youtube

Oct 09, 2015
Game Hack NEW
by: Anonymous

shadow fight 2 hile These you will then see the most important thing, the application provides you a website a powerful important internet page: generateur de gemmes clash of clans

Sep 29, 2015
Nice post NEW
by: Naveed

Very few people who live in Havana know about the Deception in Cuba. For those people this post is good source to get all information about it. I think everyone who live in Havana or who want to come at that place must have the knowledge about it. any way, i fully try to get the useful information about that link http://topaussiewriters.com/buyassignment-com-review/ and hope this is useful for the interested people.

Mar 02, 2015
Interesting updates NEW
by: Anonymous

I had forgotten about this post until someone recently added commentary. Just to provide an update here goes:

First of all, I am very happily involved with an American man now for over 2 years.

I have re-established my friendship with the Cuban man that I dated and this is what happened -he actually set-up our break up because he met a wealthy, well-connected, older Cuban-American (married) woman with who he began a relationship being a "kept" man right here in the US. He often though of me but realized that #1 if he tried to contact me, the rick woman would cut him off and #2 he deceived me so badly that there was no chance I'd even consider getting back with him (he was so right on that point).

After being involved with her for a couple years, he started emailing me and eventually we spoke on the phone and went out to dinner. He didn't come clean about all of this stuff. However I did some investigating of my own and found out that the place he lived was in this woman's name. I looked the woman up which is how I found out that she is rich and married. Anyway, I only found out because apparently after he started calling me, his married "girlfriend" saw my # (which was programmed in his phone with my last name which is also a male 1st name - Smart lol). One day she called and asked for that male name. I pretended that I was the girlfriend of that "male name" (because I'm smart, too - lol). She got nervous and said that my "boyfriend" owed her money. After the call, I did a reverse look-up of the #. She called from a land line and therefore it gave her name and lo and behold it was the rich, married ladies name.

At this point, he and I are just friends so I confronted him about it and he admitted the whole thing. I had my closure. Now I am happily dating someone else. He is still single but looking to find a nice girl like I was.

The moral of the story - We all make mistakes of the heart. The best thing to do is just keep moving forward an realize that it is not the end of the world.

Mar 02, 2015
thanks NEW
by: Richie

The stories that come here are so fascinating and it has really restored my fate in humanity. But even then, I do doubt about the genuinity of some people who are helping these people, as they are expecting something other than love in return. look here

Dec 20, 2010
Thank you for your kind words.
by: Claire

Thank you Americana, and you are right when you say we have to move on, and without bitterness or anger, because both those emotions hold us back.

The sad part is that con men like the ones we have met are harming Cuba's image worldwide, damaging their tourism industry. I will not be returning there for sure.

Sure I lost a suitcase full of clothes and a decent pair of sports shoes. But it's the emotional cost which is higher. When someone cons you, lies to you, tricks you into believing that they truly love you, adore you, were made for each other, you start to believe them. I mean why would anyone go to such extreme lengths to get to a computer when they have not internet access and much less the funds to send an email or make a call.

The financial outlay was a lot more. The flight alone including the domestic flight back to Havana was £600. Cuba is extremely clever in extracting every last penny from you.

They (Cubana, whch has a lethal safety record, fly you into Holguin , but the plane only leaves from Havana thus ensuring you fork out another $175 and you do risk your life into the process as Aero Caribbean and Cubana have the world's worst aviation safety record.

A plane crashed over Santa Spiritus a week after I left killing all passengers. I could have been on that plane had I stayed a week longer and believed his lies.
Then there is the apartheid transport system, whereby a foreigner pays in dollars and the locals pay in cents for the same trip.

The taxis are extremely expensive as is dining out, yet again an apartheid system applies. You pay 20 times more than locals for the same food or drink, and you are heavily policed.

Your casa will be spot checked daily, the casa register will be spot checked and inspected to see who has been staying and with whom, and who has visited who.

I would say the trip set me back a little under £2,000 in total, and that makes me angry. Angry because I would never had flown there but for the two years of him begging me to return.

I feel I've been tricked, conned, had. I plan on reporting him to his local authorities, and the Cuban embassy here.

Unless we do shop them what is the incentive for them to change. They will continue to trick con and try to extract all they can from other naive women.
I lay much of the blame on the obese Canadian women who fly there purely for sex and who corrupt those Cubans by purchasing them for that purpose.

My story could not be more different. I did not fly there for any other purpose but the (mistaken) belief that he loved me.

How wrong I was!.

Dec 19, 2010
Americana and Silvana Your Words Are Enlightening.
by: Claire

Americana I was very moved by your words. You loved the man and were let down badly. You trusted him and he deceived you.

Cubans are the masters of deception. You will not find greater con man than a cuban worldwide, even in the Caribbean. Cubans top the league for extreme conning and are masters of deception.

And it's happening every day in Cuba to hundreds if not thousands of women. I was conned big time. I met him two years ago in a dance hall, he seemed sweet even shy.

How wrong I was. He did not make a move that week, it was all innocent chats, having a drink, sharing thoughts. Followed by two years of emailing back and forth, begging me to return, telling me he adored me, missed me etc.

I did return at great expense. He lives at the far Eastern end of the island, you could practically swim from there to Haiti.

He had changed, seemed more intense, desperate, but kept up the charm offensive. He showed me his room, a concrete shell with nothing inside. He kept making sermons/lectures on how tough life is, how he needed 100 cuc to install a bathroom, purchase a phone etc.

He insisted on showing me a room despite the fact I was very happy in the place I had found. He became angry when I accused him of placing commission above my comfort.

There were lots of angry silences. I would ask him to leave.

He layered on the charm like treacle the last night. Told me the only way to communicate was by cellphone, he he desperately wanted to keep in touch.

Foolishly I gave him the contents of my case, lots of brand new clothing, my sneakers etc.

I never heard from him since.

Good Riddance I say, he will come unstuck one day.

Karma always has a way of catching up.

Dec 02, 2010
To Snow Angel
by: Americana

You are correct in a lot of your observations, but, in my opinionn, idealistic in others. I have been on both sides of this type of situation. I know oh too well how vulnerable a man can be when he really likes me. He's willing to dangle money, trips and promises of all types of "benefits" in your face just to keep the object of his deswire on the hook. If I were a person who lacked morals and values, or even didn't go out of my way to treat others as I want to be treated, I very well could have taken advantage of the kindness of more than one man who was more interested in me than I was in them.

Is love not opening your heart up to another person? Everytime we open our heart to another, we are placing a certain amount of trust in that person. The key to avoiding having your heart shredded multiple times is to learn to value oneself. There are alot of people out there who do not do this. However, sometimes even when you try to do everything right (wait to have sex, don't dangle money or gifts in the other persons face, take your time getting to know them) you can still get your heart shredded. Some of the people posting, though upset and in various situations with their finances, may have started out in what seemed to be a normal relationship. The only way to avoid this risk is to swear off love.

That being said, there are also a lot of intelligent, successful men and women out there with fantasies about being with someone "exotic". If money and/or easy sex is used as bait then chances are you must keep the sex and money flowing in order to keep that fish on your hook. However this should be done with "no strings" and no delusions of love. I think where many of the people posting went awry was that they fell for their fish.

Although it is a story that seems to repeat itself, I think these blog sites are a good thing. They allow people to vent and also to see that they are not alone in their experiences.

I know that it has definitely helped me, and has also let me know that whenever I am able to travel to Cuba - I will avoid the locals there just like I do on all of the other islands.

Dec 02, 2010
Human Nature?
by: Snow*Angel

I am reading with some semblance of disdain and confusion,as to how our human nature and our own free will can allow us to be abused and ridiculed by people in our own Country and 3rd world Country's.
I am reading post's from several website's and it all read's the same-"we have been duped,deceived,defrauded of our finance's and our dignity".
Now what I dont't understand is that the majority of men and women posting are intelligent,successful,people in good position's to acknowledge any fraudulent,abusive behavior,but these are the very people who fall victim's to these scam's.
Does hearing the "Ilove U's" put us in hypnotic mode and we lose all our common sense.?
I have been reading in women's magazine's of corporate leading women being scamed by a "Sweet-Heart Swindler"he scammed million's from intelligent women all over North America,he finally got caught and is serving time.
My own boss the owner of a huge Real Estae Office got scammed out of $48,000.00 out of a phony deal,after 13 year's he still cannot explain what happened.
I have been approached by so-called friend's asking for monetary loan's,I refused,and guess what? they never called again.
Would I support another person?-NO,for we all have the opportunity and the given willpower to support ourselve's---"excluding disabled people."
Would I try to help and advise friend's yes,Love is a word that is being used to defraud and manipulate people,just like most religion's do.
If a person truly care's for you he will show it not say it,he will be there for you when you are happy or sad,will comfort you in time's of tragedy and kiss your tear's away,will ask you how was your day sweetheart?
Will forgive you when and if you make a mistake,and will make 'love with you"--not just sex.
In all honesty I cannot say that all these men and women were dumb and stupid when they realized they were defrauded,for I came close myself,we have to re-evaluate our self respect and dignity and to truly ask ourselve's,is this relationship real? is it going to be good for me? as my dad used to say "word's get blown away with the wind".
I also learned that if you respect yourself and take good care of your health you will attract the same,for once a fraudster pick's up on our own doubt's and confusion's, he or she will have enough to work on to make our live's a living hell.

Dec 01, 2010
To Both Anonymous Writers
by: Anonymous

To Anonymous who wrote, "still here" I tend to agree with you. It just seems really fishy. Actually (according to him) he is not leaving until the end of the year. At that time, I have a " reliable source" that can tell me whether he touches Cuban soil. I have not utilized it to check anything else out about him (because he's not worth all that). However, I will check to confirm whether he's gone or not, because I would hate to run in to him unexpectedly (S-FL is not a huge place). To the other Anonymous who responded to Liza - I am in 100% agreement with you. It is a sad but true fact. Being that I am "mulatta" myself (just of American parents - Black and White Italian) I am well aware of the fascination that comes our way. My relationship with my ex was one more of "equals" lookswise, age-wise etc. I just think that he may have been a Player when he was in Cuba and one thing about that lifestyle is that sometimes, once a man has fooled, used and mistreated women he sometimes can't just "shake it off" at will and he will usually screw up at least a few attempts at having even a normal relationship. Oh well, either way - I am well on my way to moving on and have already been out on a couple of casual dates with other guys. I allowed myself the whole month of November to grieve, now I am turning over a new leaf. TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS!!

Nov 30, 2010
I Think It Is "Supply and Demand"
by: Americana

First let me say that I have not traveled to Cuba, so I can only speak from my experience on other islands in the Caribbean. My family has a timeshare on Freeport, and I have seen oh too many times women coming down to the islaand just to "hook-up" with the native men. Once those same men realized that I was not going to hook-up with them they let me in on the real scoop. They talked about how the women (mostly white) came down to Freeport specifially looking to hoop-up with the Black men there. They said these women were not really interested in anything other than sex and a good time. They were not concerned with whether these men were married, un-employed, etc. The women would pay for meals, let them stay in their hotels and much more. Well I am thinking that there is quite a bit of that in Cuba as well. Therefore these men have learned over time that they are a hot commodity. Since Cuba is so ecomonically depressed, and alot of the men and women there seem to want to leave, it sounds like they have just taken this symbiotic scheme to the next level. Unfortunately some will resort to even higher levels of trickery and debauchery to get what they want. If I had me my ex in Cuba, I am 100% sure that I would not be telling this sad tale, because as I travel to different islands, one thing I will not do is "hook up" with the native guys simply because I assume that they are all out to either just sleep with me or scam me.

Nov 27, 2010
Why are the Worst Con Men /Jinteros Always Afro Cuban or Mulatto?
by: Liza

Anonymous I read your post with interest. I am so sorry you were duped in this way.

I was too.

I met a guy in Santiago, he was handsome if a little too overweight for me.

He was Afro Cuban, a musician but a manipulative player.
He drank but I noticed an older Cuban woman was paying when we met in the Casa de La Muica. He was drinking on her tab and got her to relay his interst in me.

I got the feeling he was hitting on me purely as a means to a visa or flight out of Cuba. He kept on and on about the disgrace that a classically traned musician such as him could be earning so little. He introduced me on the first night to his father and step mom. His father is also a musician who has travelled around the world so is aware of how to manipulate the system and play the foreigners.

Months of emails flowed, all declaring his love for me. It all seemed a bit too rushed, too desperate.

I mean it was all too quick.

I was not even sure of my feelings for the guy. Sure he was a nice guy with a great family, cute puppy, sweet step brother.

But to me it was all a bit too contrived. Too quick too desperate.

As I said he is Afro Cuban. I have read many accounts on here about scammers. What percentage of them are Mulatto or Afro Cuban?. Was your friend Mulatto?.

Do not get me wrong. I am not a racist. Some of my closest friends are mixed race of every nationality, Asian, Hispanic, African.

But it dawned on me reading the posts on here, ,and from my own experience, that the vast majority of Cuban hustlers, con men jinteros, tend to be of Afro Cuban origin or are Mulattos.

I have noticed that there is a pecking order in Cuba a real discrimination, though they would never admit to it.

I did not see too many black managers, senior hotel staff, government ministers, professionals doctors, engineer who were black.

Mostly they seem to work as security guards or cleaners.

My friend seemed to be the exception, a talented professional musician. It does seem that real talent in music sport manages to break through the race barrier in Cuba. But they are the exception to the rule.

Could that be why so many hustlers and Jiniteros/Jiniteras tend to be of Afro Cuban or Mulatto ?.

Nov 24, 2010
I guess I'm glad he did it before he returns to Cuba.
by: Americana

Yes Anonymous they can be quite charming can't they? I guess I am glad that I was "dismissed" before his alledged return home at the end of this year (due to his daughter's mom's illness according to him). I think he may have done this because due to embargo laws, I as an American-Born citizen and not legally travel to or send money to anyone in Cuba. Otherwise he may have strung me along and then started begging for stuff once he got home. Maybe he figured he'd better hurry up an find a 1st Generation Cuban American woman who could legally send him money and visit him with requested items. maybe he went back to his ex-girlfriend for that purpose. She is Cuban. I guess I should be thankful for that. Some people may try to judge men & women who fall for this and try to dismiss us as insecure and/or needy. However, it is not that simple and those who think it can't happen to them better be careful. If you have somebody in your face, day after day declaring their love, demonstrating their love and pursuing you (especially when there is no agenda of citizenship or material possessions being presented) how is one supposed to know that it is not the real thing? Scary but given some of the characteristics I'm reading about in here, I can see that it may be sadly inescapable for them. It can't really be a fulfilling existence for them either. If it is, that is truly sad. Well, both of us can say good riddance and I wish you all the best as you move to put your situation behind you.

Nov 24, 2010
I Too, Have Been There.
by: Anonymous

I can feel your pain because I too have been through a similar betrayal of trust and deception.

I felt loved, really loved. We spent every night in each other's company when we met. We loved each other's company and loved doing the simplest of things, sitting on a bench watching the ocean, a sunset sharing a drink chatting for hours, listening to music.

I could fill a book with the daily emails I received from him, pure poetry, telling me we were born for each other, how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, how he wanted me to live in Cuba with him forever.

He would always beg me to return. For two years he was asking me why I was not returning?. When would I be returning?. He had a surprise for me.

Well I did return, and never did see the 'surprise'. He was round to my casa every day.

The owner was sick of seeing him. He was on tender hooks always giving me some hard luck story. I would tired of listening to them all.

He would keep on and on about how he needed a cellphone, did I bring him one. He showed scant respect for the jeans and top I had brought him. No he had his eye on my cellphone. He also had a list of what he needed.

I caught him out in some lies, he actually had three children with different women, all of which he put down to an adventure, dismissed their existence and did not apologise for lying to me.

He did charm me into leaving behind most of my clothes which he said he would sell to buy a phone so he could text me to say he loved me and missed me.

He never showed up at the airport to say goodbye. I doubt he even purchased the cellphone because three months later I have not heard from him.

Good Riddance though. I have seen what a shallow and deceitful man he really is.

So I can feel what your are going through. I really can.

Nov 24, 2010
Lack of Loyalty about sums it up
by: Americana

Wow anonymous, you are right on the money. I have gone over and over the course of our relationship in my head (a sad reality that I am looking forward to getting past real soon!!). When I think about how he was when we were together, how loving, how attentive and into me he was during that time (he even said "as a man I promise to love you), I see no fortelling of what was headed my way. However, I do recall him talking about his own people with disdain - as if he was tired of being around other Cubans (there's a bunch of them down here in S FL) because of just the characteristics you mentioned (scamming, lying, etc). I also saw him totally dismiss an older Cuban gentleman who had claimed to think of him as a son over something I thought was petty (the man owed him $200, didn't pay him back but then asked to come pick up a TV he'd loaned my ex). He was so angry with that man I believe he's never spoken to him again. I guess that should have been a foretelling of how quickly he could turn on me. Unfortunately I did not see it. Americans are not perfect, and within our culture there are people of varied levels of integrity, but my ex demonstrated the most severe and cruel case of "switching up" and disloyalty I have ever personally witnessed or ever hope to witness again. It has damaged my trust and I am trying very hard not to let that damage be permanent. Everyone reading just take note. Don't believe the hype he or she may be giving you until a whole lot of time has passed. My relationship lasted 6 months - usually enough time to kinda relax and trust in it, but obviously not!!!

Nov 24, 2010
They Top The World League In Deception.
by: Anonymous

Cuban men and women seem to be born with an inate abilty to deceive.

Perhaps they learn it when growing up with a mother who changes husbands faster than she changes her underwear.

They are abandoned, dumped off with grandparents who are already struggling to get by, so they learn how to trick, con and deceive at an early age.

It's why they rarely if ever survive in a foreign culture. They are primed to scam and con. They do not like to have to work for a living.

They are simply incapable of loyalty the most basic of human values. It's in their blood to cheat on their partners.

They really are best left in Cuba a culture they are familiar with. Where they will continue with their conning and tricking and deceiving and scamming each other.

It's what they have learnt from birth, it's all they know.

Nov 23, 2010
Thank you Daniella and Vic
by: Americana

Yhank you for the information about how the "return" to Cuba works. I didn't think it would be that easy for him, although he claims to already have his ticket and claims to be leaving at the end of the year. As far as me supporting him - NEVER. I am done with him completely, hurt but done. He could call me and tell me his family home burned down and they were all forced to live on the street and my heart will not melt. As far as the being jalied part, part of me wants to call and warn him, but again I AM DONE. He showed me how he really felt about me and so therefore I say let someone he loves warn him - not me. For Daniella, I am sorry to hear of you terrible experience with you Cubano. No, mine did not get to use me, he may have been trying to prime me to be used and broke up with me when he saw that it wasn't going to be easy. Yes he was georgeous, but I, too am an attractive Black American woman who most people mistake for being Cubana or Dominicana myself. As a matter of fact, when he and I were together his and my friends were quite amazed because they said we looked like brother and sister. Maybe when he met me he figured he could have the best a both worlds, a good looking woman and a "sucker", but when he realized that I expected (as most attractive women do and are accustomed to) to be treated a certain way and spoiled on a consistent basis (and may I say I did the same in return but not with my money or gifts) he realized that flipping the script to where he was able to use me was going to be too much work!! Nonetheless, although he got no money from me he did (temporarily) break my heart and damage my trust. Thus I am thankful for these dialogues because hopefully we can all help each other to heal, realized it is not us, take our lessons learned and move on.

Nov 23, 2010
He Used You!
by: Daniella

To Anonymous. I have heard similar stories to yours time annd time again.

This is clear from when you wrote...

"I was made aware that his status was shown as "engaged" to someone on a social networking site. When I asked him about it he explained it away as an ex-girlfriend (also state side) who had helped him set up the site thus had his password".

What does that tell you?. His heart was elsewhere and he was lying to you because he was committed to another woman but playing you because it suited him for the time being.

Accept it you were being used.

Cuban men are masters at this, regardless of whether they are 'wet foot dry foot' as you refer to them. And regardless of whether they are 'Cuban Americano' or never set foot from the island. They are master liars and cheaters.

He cheated on his 'fiancee' and played you. My ex husband Ernesto from Santiago was a violent bully who used an older German woman with money to fly him to Germany.

He conned her, lied to her, and she believed him. He used her.

All the time he was in Germany he kept emailing and texting me in London telling me how much she revolted him, how her crepey skin her wrinkles turned his stomach but he was biding his time until his papers came through.

The day they did he flew to London, within a month I saw his true side. He never worked, he went out to latin clubs every night.

He cheated on me. He stole our baby's family allowance little that it was, so he could go out drinking with other women.

When I challenged him he would punch me even when I was six months pregnant. I nearly lost our baby.

He destroyed my life and it was only with the help of the police and an injunction for violence that I managed t get rid of him.

He was the worst thing that ever happened in my life.

A Santiago lazy loser . A violent cheating thug. I was in therapy for a year after I kicked him out. My total self esteem had gone. I was in depression.

Nov 22, 2010
Thank you Vic & I do have a couple more question if you don't mind (At the end of the post)
by: Anonymous

Thank you Vic and I really do appreciate the presence of this website. One of the ways that I try to deal with negative things tha tI don't understand it to do research. This site has provided good information in both the positive and not so positive aspects of Cuban culture and attitudes. When he and I were together and spoke about things in Cuba, I was keenly aware that we had different perspectives on life based on our past experiences. I wanted to learn all that I could and, although his words were to the contrary, I was deifinitely more interested in learning about his culture than he was in learning about the culture of the country to which he wanted to establish his new life. Here in S FL it is easy for recent immigrants from different Latin and Caribbean countries to remain in a cocoon of their respective cultures and not really truly experience American life. It seems that a lot of them come here but many of them are always speaking negatively about the US (something I do not understand). I am Black American and therefore know oh to well what it is like to be stereo-typed so I do want to be careful to say that I am sure not all Cubans are "leeches", "users", "cheaters", etc. However, there are characteristics associated with each culture that are influenced by the experiences of being a part of that culture. This site has provided some insight into that (the good, the bad and the ugly). I also want to say that my break-up happened 2 days after being introduced to his mother and God mother (who reside in Cuba) by telephone. Since they seem to be an extremely matriarchal society I can't hel;p but think that maybe their input may have weighed into the situation. At any rate, my only other curiosity (which maybe you help me with Vic) is this - How common is it for someone, who has "escaped" via raft, to return permanently? How do they go about doing this and what happens to them? I've tried to look this up on the web but couldnt' find anything. He claims that his baby's mama has cancer and so he would feel like a failure as a father if he did not go back (the baby's mama's mother is deceased and of course the dad is not in the picture). Also would it make since that his own mother would be pressuring him to return for this reason. It just does not make sense to me.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Love in Cuba .

footer for Havana-guide page