Foolish in love in Cuba
So I'm a young-ish dark skinned attractive black woman who went to Cuba in search of a bit of adventure and escape from everyday life. I spent 24 days traveling all around Cuba, sometimes being mistaken for a Cuban until I spoke and my accent betrayed me.
In Santiago de Cuba, I met a young man. My friend and I were passing the main plaza where all the taxi drivers line up and harass you about needing a taxi. He was one of those young men, but he was very soft spoken. I said no, but immediately remarked that he was beautiful, which he is. We went our separate ways, but ran into each other again (I do not believe in coincidences) later that day. He convinced me to meet him for a cerveza and a chat much later that evening, so I obliged.
I speak little Spanish and he speaks even less English, so he brought a friend along to interpret that evening. The friend had a German girlfriend and a bible in his back pocket. We chatted it up for a while until it was clear we didn't need his friend to communicate for us anymore because the heart always knows. We dismissed his friend and I paid for the 6 cervezas and we were off to dance and enjoy each other's company for the night, and that we did.
We had a wonderful time. He took me to a disco where there were very few gringos and he knew very few people. We left the disco after quite a few mojitos (again, paid for by me) and roamed the streets late at night, singing Bob Marley songs and laughing.
He took me back to his house where his abuela was asleep on the couch and I'm sure you can imagine what transpired next.
There was a condom already on the bed when I entered the bedroom (I first used the washroom) and that struck me as a little odd, but perhaps there was no question about whether we'd have sex. The tension was palpable. We had a great time and then cuddled up to go to sleep.
After a few hours, I needed to return to my casa.
As we woke up and he got ready to walk me back to the casa, he mentioned that he wore a size 48 shoe and he had long arms.
I nodded and tried not to show my disappointment because I believed he was telling me so I'd be able to bring him things when I returned. However, perhaps I should have not been surprised since I'd paid for all of our drinks and everything but at the time I justified it because he is a student and i'm well aware of how much cubanos earn a month.
This was the only time he ever hinted at gifts or anything and he didn't directly ask.
In fact I had a few CUCs in my hand after paying for our cervezas and as he was reaching out to hold my hand he thought I was giving him money.
he said "NO MONEY!" and wouldn't hold my hand till I'd transferred the bills to my other hand. hmm?
I was leaving Santiago later that day, but we spent a good portion of the day together, talking, laughing, kissing and generally being very sweet.
I promised to return in july. I'm a lover by nature so his first te amo didn't knock my socks off because if I'd allowed myself to get caught up in that moment, I could have sworn I loved him too...and I've traveled a bit and understand that others have a different concept of love than westerners do.
We said goodbyes. I returned to Havana and eventually home. He emails. We've spoken on the phone, which is not his. It belongs to his sister. He's called me to tell me he's home so I can call him. Last time we talked he said it was getting expensive to talk on the phone but didn't ask me for anything. He just said he wanted to talk only once a month to hear my beautiful voice. His emails are so poetic and what every girl would love to hear. While I believe that you can have a very strong attraction and can experience love with someone you don't know, all of your stories are making me very very skeptical.
His last email said he couldn't imagine a life without me and he needed me to return to ease his suffering. I'm considering it. We've been apart for 3 weeks and I can't imagine being apart for much longer. Am I being a fool? Please help, I'm sleepless and tortured and need to know if I should just move on.
I know that we dont stand much of a chance at a successful relationship for so many reasons.
Aside from our age difference--he's 13 years my junior, there are cultural and societal challenges. I also cannot travel to Cuba for tourism which increases the difficulty. We look like a couple (matching attractiveness, height, everything) and when I keep my mouth shut we appear just like any other very good looking cuban couple, my heart wants him. I believe he wants me and not just my money, which I don't have very much of, and which I made clear to him from the beginning. Foolish in love in Cuba?