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Help! Love S.O.S. in Cuba

by Alex Gordon
(Calgary)


Help! at a cross-road to presue love, should I chase?


Hi insiders and outsiders. My story is I went to Cuba a found a sweet strong cubana. I'm not the typical old guy. I'm am 29 a fairly average she is 24. From Toronto you can imagine phone calls are expensive writing takes to long email is not a option. But I met her at a disco in Varadero and she seemed to be soliciting companionship. She is though a thoughtful woman, family oriented. Hearing from friends and reading these stories can not but scare me.
She says all she wants from me is love. She lives with her family and I met them on a visit there, but my suspicion impacts a genuine relationship. The family likes me as I do them. Some of those red flags pop up though. I need a smartphone, I need phonecards, I like classy things. My friends have this or that, their boyfriend got them that.
She vows I am her only love, and was truly offended when I asked her, please be honest do you have or will you have another boyfriend between my absence? She said things are difficult in Cuba, but has class and does not want me to downgrade her with assumptions. I really care about her and feel that the worlds opinions maybe or may have broken a real good chance at a relationship also the representation of a honest, trying foreigner. She seems so hurt, and mist have told her parents. She told me that my personality is strange and unbalanced, and thought that I was a good person. And now thinks I'm not. I told her we are going to fast and I am new to the experiences of pond distance relationships. Trying to establish my career and purchase my first home and business will keep me from frequent visits to Cuba for financial reasons. It's been 2 weeks without speaking really. She has turned her cell phone off. And when I get her on her home phone conversations are bland. Before my presumptions things seemed golden. What should I do experienced people?


Answer by Vic Webmaster

Hi Alex,
Counseling in love affairs is always difficult and risky.....you know... human emotions.
I have heard hundreds of similar stories. To be honest, I see lots of red flags! She probably playing the jinetera game. You picked her up in Varadero! Well Varadero is notorious for jineteras, scam etc. My advise: slow down, please slow down!
Tell her you have money problems (at home) beacause of a sick mother (father etc.). Tell her you can't send her money or buy (bling bling) thing for the moment, maybe next year or in two years, when you get another job. In a Cuban relation "TIME" is an important factor. Try to delay everything. Most jineteras look for another yuma (foreigner) if their present foreigner is no walking ATM or instant cash machine.
BTW think about this: you're 29, are you going to live in Cuba? on which salary? Are you sure she want's to come to Canada? Will she get a visa? Note that the majority of this marriages end in a divorce. Is it OK for you that she will send her salary to the family in Cuba? More questions than answers! Think before you jump, ask advise at the Canadian immigration services, they know the failure rates!
Wish you all the best! but be vigilant!!!!

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Oct 26, 2015
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good post NEW
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May 18, 2015
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Cuba NEW
by: Anonymous

Very interesting article. Love is a most beautiful thing you can experience in your life time. For me it is very interesting and custom essays helped me when I am writing a paper on love. It dosen't matter to country, race. Any body can fall in love with any one any time.

Feb 06, 2015
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vdw1 NEW
by: Perin

It is always good to know people and to get close to a few at least. That itself would make you build a strong relationship with them. Socializing is a good thing when done in the standard manner. I hope you would consider this. bee traps

Aug 30, 2014
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International calling NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi. My friend is Cuban. He recently traveled to London England. Will he have to get a new cell phone number while there? Would it be cheaper for him? Would his Cuban cell not work in London?

Nov 01, 2011
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Dump This Tart Now!
by: Anonymous

She says she does not want you to 'downgrade her with negative assumptions'. What a clever jinitera this one is. An educated whore. Cubans are the most educated whores in the world. Hence their sucess rate at fooling their clients. And believe me she sees you as no more than a client.A waslking ATM.

While she preaches to you about not making assumptions, she is already denegrading you, finding fault in you, calling you 'unbalanced'. She's clearly manipulating and using you.

This is the typical Jinitera modus operadus, they start of being charming, loving, attentive, will mirror your actions, find out your likes, and interests, copy them, it's all a tactic to hook you in.

Then they start dropping hints about cellphones, shoes, money to decorate/repair the home. There are always 101 ways to extort your hard earned cash from you.

The family will join in, all in on the scam to part you from your money, you'll be bombarded with hard luck stories. They will depress you.

Get out while you csn.

So far it's cost you no more than a meals and drinks, nights out.

Carry on and it could cost you so much more, and your dream of owning a business and home will disappear as fast as she will when your money runs out.

Oct 11, 2011
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Question to Vic and experience
by: Alex

To webmaster vic.
How is someone supposed to find love as you have in your wife in Havana, when stories from here and yes I have friends in immigration that give same warnings. If I didn't hear of these scenarios of asking for expensive gift, paying for expensive nights out, her mother and her suggesting I rent a beach house as thud know all tell all of fraud or scam, I could have embraced want may have been true interest a love. Circumstances being this girl from Havana that I met in varedero seemed to have been pouring love in our relationship, and being warned and vigilant can but come out as with-holding and untrustworthy. You made a point in stating and asking "29 years old, will you live in Cuba? Will she live in Canada?" What happened to living the moment to its fullest. Just a question! She no longer wants to talk as it seems.
Remark by Vic

I can talk days, weeks, months about this topic, so just the important stuff.
My advice don't take any action (marriage, children, migration) before you know her for at least FIVE years! What do you really know about this person? you have met her only two weeks twice a year. Do you really think she is living without a boy friend for 6 months or more?
This is Cuba my friend! Learn Cuban Spanish (included Cuban slang) this is a must, if you want to know what's going on. Keep a low profile on money matters. (say that you have to send money to a sick mother, father, sister etc.)
When they can squeeze less money out of you, their attitude towards you might change. Maybe you will see the real persons!

Oct 10, 2011
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Help! love S.O.S. in cuba
by: Anonymous

More to the story..........when I met her she knew not a sentence in English. Within a couple of months her English has got much better. She learned more so for me. I don't know hardly any Spanish, and communication is important. But lacking. Her parents are honest loving people it seems, and seemed to have given her things her heart desires throughout her youth. As I said these horror stories have me on alert. And the suspicion is hindering the relationship. I have since called but she is either home not saying much or sleeping or out. I don't know how to see the situation, we exchanged "I love you" before and I know I really loved this girl. Is it real? If not I do want to be a representation of a good, handsome, ambitious, mannered man from Canada. Following a moral campus, hoping her friends and family can see all foreigners are not simply not sexual oppurtuntist.

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