Help! Love S.O.S. in Cuba

by Alex Gordon
(Calgary)

Help! at a cross-road to presue love, should I chase?

Hi insiders and outsiders. My story is I went to Cuba a found a sweet strong cubana. I'm not the typical old guy. I'm am 29 a fairly average she is 24. From Toronto you can imagine phone calls are expensive writing takes to long email is not a option. But I met her at a disco in Varadero and she seemed to be soliciting companionship. She is though a thoughtful woman, family oriented. Hearing from friends and reading these stories can not but scare me.
She says all she wants from me is love. She lives with her family and I met them on a visit there, but my suspicion impacts a genuine relationship. The family likes me as I do them. Some of those red flags pop up though. I need a smartphone, I need phonecards, I like classy things. My friends have this or that, their boyfriend got them that.
She vows I am her only love, and was truly offended when I asked her, please be honest do you have or will you have another boyfriend between my absence? She said things are difficult in Cuba, but has class and does not want me to downgrade her with assumptions. I really care about her and feel that the worlds opinions maybe or may have broken a real good chance at a relationship also the representation of a honest, trying foreigner. She seems so hurt, and mist have told her parents. She told me that my personality is strange and unbalanced, and thought that I was a good person. And now thinks I'm not. I told her we are going to fast and I am new to the experiences of pond distance relationships. Trying to establish my career and purchase my first home and business will keep me from frequent visits to Cuba for financial reasons. It's been 2 weeks without speaking really. She has turned her cell phone off. And when I get her on her home phone conversations are bland. Before my presumptions things seemed golden. What should I do experienced people?


Answer by Vic Webmaster

Hi Alex,
Counseling in love affairs is always difficult and risky.....you know... human emotions.
I have heard hundreds of similar stories. To be honest, I see lots of red flags! She probably playing the jinetera game. You picked her up in Varadero! Well Varadero is notorious for jineteras, scam etc. My advise: slow down, please slow down!
Tell her you have money problems (at home) beacause of a sick mother (father etc.). Tell her you can't send her money or buy (bling bling) thing for the moment, maybe next year or in two years, when you get another job. In a Cuban relation "TIME" is an important factor. Try to delay everything. Most jineteras look for another yuma (foreigner) if their present foreigner is no walking ATM or instant cash machine.
BTW think about this: you're 29, are you going to live in Cuba? on which salary? Are you sure she want's to come to Canada? Will she get a visa? Note that the majority of this marriages end in a divorce. Is it OK for you that she will send her salary to the family in Cuba? More questions than answers! Think before you jump, ask advise at the Canadian immigration services, they know the failure rates!
Wish you all the best! but be vigilant!!!!