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Letter from a Cuban man

by Jani
(Canada )

I went to Cuba a few years back and met a Cuban man. I went back 6 months later and we had a week together. It was dancing and pleasure nothing more for me.
He was adorable and a soft soul...with a very serious side. He opened an email account and started writing. It fed my fantasy and appeased my bordom. Eventually I had to tell him to stop writing such flowery romantic letters... I read so much on this site that I was getting uncomfortable as I didn't want anyone playing games when I had been very clear from the beginning about what it was.

Still to this day he writes (although his emails have become more on a friend level. He says he still thinks of me often and remembers our time together with great fondness. (ya I guess...it was a great vacation for him!) Anyway sometimes I wonder if maybe he was one of the sweet special ones. Here is a portion of the letter he wrote after I told him to please stop with the romantic stuff. Any opinions? Do you think he's full of it? Anything sound familiar to anyone? Translated to english so not perfect.

Dear -----,
After thinking about some little things I’m asking for a time of peace. I think things are perfectly clear and I understand it all perfectly well. I accept this great friendship that you offer me with all my heart and I want to give thanks to you for this great gift.

Its not every day we find a real friend therefore I will settle for this because I think it comes from the heart.
Thank you for the truth. Jxxx, I love you very much and I am really going to learn to be satisfied with friendship only. I know we do not have a formal commitment.

I think allot and that I can’t help and when I speak I speak from my heart I don’t have guilt and I know that we are not a couple but I would like you to know that I will always be there for you and don’t hesitate for anything please.

I hope to continue this communication and hope that it never ends, ever. You are very special to me and really want you to know that I need a woman like you who understands me just a little. The material things are not important what is important is the very real and deep feelings for each other. Dont be afraid of the things I say. I am a little bit of a philosopher of life and on many occasions not all people agree with me. Jxxx love before everything. You are an exellent person and I understand all that you mean but sorry, I cant stop thinking about you over night and that is something I hope you should understand.
You ask me to speak about everyday things but my everyday things have much to do with you. Now maybe I’m grasping to prolong these letters. But I think that they wont end anytime soon. This is the way I express and when I want go into your house via this route and say what I feel. I’m sorry but it's the way I can relieve my pain. This has been so strong for me that you indifference bothers me so much and I have to say more. My queen, I love you and I am also so surprised by this long letter that you sent me. I will never be upset with you just as long as you always tell me how you feel and if you ever change your mind. I say that because I think that I will always leave the door a little bit open for you. It makes me feel better although I cant kiss you or touch you or speak to you.

Today I am going to a concert of peace that has been talked about so much on television. I hope to take some photos for you. After we will celebrate a birthday of a co-worker.

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Aug 28, 2016
Do Not Believe or Fall For Their B.S. Lies NEW
by: Anonymous

I read Jeni's post and laughed as so many women on here will. Those tired old cliched lines are trotted out by many thousands of Cuban b......er men on a daily basis.

Those tired old cliches, script is passed around between them when they want to lure you into a sense of false security, into believing what they have to offer is real and nothing could be further from the truth.

I met my hustler con man in 2010, it was my first trip to Cuba, he was staying at a small 2 star hotel which I had booked as a last minute deal. I can say the vacation was pleasant until the moment I met him. He was charm personified, full of those scripted B.S. lines - 'Mi Amor' 'Mi Linda' 'Mi Corazon' 'Mi Vida'. All B.S.!

He returned to the hotel a few days after he left, to see me, arrogantly just sauntered in, past reception, without signing a register, came to my room, expected to be fed, left his bus ticket receipt on my dresser as a hint. Expected me to accompany him back to Havana, even suggesting a taxi, and stormed out in a major huff when I declined.

That should have set alarm bells right there, but his emails continued fast and furious, full of the usual b.s. the lines of endearment, how much he missed me, could not sleep for thinking about me. Here is a man whom I later found out had been married for 13 years and his wife was dying from cancer.

He acted like a single man, and treated his wife like s...it, according to his aunt who revealed a lot to me when we met. She called him a narcissist self serving egoist who ran rings round his elderly disabled mother.

This b.....astard had been verbally and possibly physically abusive to his wife and also to his own mother. He had witnessed domestic violence as a child which many Cubans have, and it becomes a learned pattern of behaviour. Domestic violence appears to be acceptable in Cuba and there are no laws against it, police rarely intervene.

If you meet this man trawling the sreets of Havana Vieja for his next victim, run as fast as you can. He is black, Afro Cuban, tall and very charming, he will flash you a huge smile, smother you with compliments and charm, invite you home to meet his mother, but run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.

Lazaro is a hustler, an overgrown spoilt child of 50 going on 16, his prey is the gullible yuma and heavy hints will be dropped about how much he needs a Samsung Galaxy or iphone to 'keep in touch'.

This man has a collection of cellphones, and a room full of the latest sports shoes and sorts shirts. He is playing lots of elderly women from Canada and the USA. His aim is to get one of them who will be dumb enough to marry his so he can get a visa to leave Cuba.

His poor wife passed away two years ago, this b....astard felt no remorse. He was on his phone chatting to one of his women while at her death bed in the hospital.

He lives in Cerro, and needs to be stopped from preying on foreigners, he is all that is bad about Cuba and men like him are helping to drive away tourists never to return.

Avoid this parasitic bas......ard like the plague.

Jun 11, 2016
The man at La Florida with a small company NEW
by: Anonymous

I am reading through old messages here. One has written about a man she met at La Florida, in the mid forties. He had a company, reparing cell phones. His name startet with A. It must have been the same man as I met in the easter 2011. He was good looking and very charming. But he could suddenly change, and got dark and angry for no reason. He had a friend who was clever in english.
He write me very nice emails, sometimes I felt they were not written by him.
Mr A. was very greedy, always eating and drinking a lot when I was paying. He became violent when I quittet the "relationship". My advice - don't get involved in the boys at La Florida in any ages. They are all jineteros. Have fun and dance with them, but never get involved. Some of them are very clever in charming women. If you get into the play, don't get involved. Because you will be very disappointed. There are no guys in the tourist area of Havana who are "different from all the other guys". Enjoy your stay in Cuba, ladies, but know what you are doing.

Oct 25, 2015
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May 31, 2015
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May 19, 2015
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Mar 05, 2015
Beautiful NEW
by: Donald

We should be careful about the long distance relationship. I think that man is not real and just playing with your feelings. Cubans are not likely to stay at a place and they travel all the time. EHR solutions

Dec 07, 2013
Sad but true
by: Anonymous

I am sad to say that this letter, while lovely, is fairly standard. I have received many letters like this one and when the writer drops his veil, it's actually very shocking because underneath those lovely letters is machismo that is deep and profound. I have been married to a Cuban and engaged to another, both educated, family people. Unless you are Cuban or Spanish, I wouldn't do it. I am African and love the warmth of Cuban society, but honestly, I wouldn't get involved with a Cuban-born man again. Heart-breaking.

Aug 06, 2012
Very hurt by Cuban!
by: Anonymous

My daughter fell in love with a Cuban who has been in the states just a few years . He played us for three years...we really considered this very kind food looking boy our family. We did things like put in his graduation party and take him on family vacations. I started noticing little white lies ad things that didn't add up. As soon as I stopped doing things for him...he showed very little feeling for the family. My daughter finally sees him for who he really is....an opportunist. Anything that comes along that might be better is where he will be. He and his family have very little compassion for others when it comes to something you might need. They are not what I call accountable or faithful to someone outside the immediate family in anyway. We are all stunned by the way this Cuban boy last talked to us. He screamed with profanity which was very vulgar and mean....like a Mel Gibson scene. My daughter and family are still going through the pain and I hope anyone that reads this will think twice before livig a Cuban. The "macho ism" as they call it in cuba is in their blood. We found many girls he was contacting on a regular basis...he swears he didn't cheat. Even if he didn't have sex he did cheat because he wasn't honest with us.

Jul 13, 2012
by: Anonymous

This post might be dead, but I have a similar feeling to the original poster in that I'm just not sure if I might be passing up a real, genuine Cuban man.. He does not work for the tourism industry, we are the same age and he is not out of my league in terms of looks. We have been exchanging emails for four months now and am planning to go back in August... I feel like he might be genuine but all these stories are scaring the ***** out of me. Here is a email he wrote to me after I told him about how all the stories I have heard that have been scaring me... Let me know what you think...

Hello _______

I received your last mail and I think that not yet you trust me, you know that everything that I have told you, that everything that I have done has been with my heart, but if not yet you believe in me I will wait that you be convinced and I hope that don't be too late and if in the end your heart does not recognize the value of mine I will not force to you that you do it. Also there are things that I have to be in convinced but only I need to chat face to face. I Always have told you that I do not care about fucking money, I really would like to going with you for Canada because is a developed country and although the things not be easy there is better while than in Cuba all is difficult and you know that, but don't not care anyway is my country. I do not care about the stories that you have listened because I know that is not and don't will be the mine, the story that I want to do is with you both side by side fighting, but if you do not want I do not intend to force you, only we will be friends as always.
I really don't understand why still you distrust me if I always have been the same person with you and I showed it to you when I knew you in Cuba the first time and we were only friends, now is better because I feel more than a friendship for you, now is love and I will show it to you. I hope that you also be so good as you say and also show it.

I really don't know what to tell you, I think that I have told you all things with my heart, when you come if you are not sure of me and I'm not sure of you, we both must continue being just friends, but this is not what I want.

I have written to you from different mails addresses because my server is still burned-out but anyway the most important is the communication. Write back soon, I will be as always waiting for some mail your and I hope that the next mail that I receive from you don't talk about the fucking money, just talk about love or your feelings.

Note: If my clear and sincere words like every dawn don't tell you nothing, then I have not more nothing to do and more nothing to say.

Your endless friend

Jul 18, 2011
What am I getting into?
by: Anonymous

Soon I am going to Havana to visit my friend. I met him at La Florida, and the red light was blinking almost immidiately. He is not one of those very young men,mid forties,handsome and very communicative.Has a small company, bad income,he says.
We were togheter every day in 2 weeks,and I fell for him, although the red alarm was blinking many times.He seemed a little greedy when out for dinner, not at the cheapest restaurants, ordering a lot of food, drinking a lot, I did pay.Some days he was irritated and we quarreled, I quitted, but he melted my heart. He has a younger friend that speaks very well english and german, too, that was negotiating between us. Maybe he is the one that somebode here has got many emails from? I have sent my friend some money, I know that life is not easy there.I have got a lot of emails and smses from him, and I feel as if I am in love with him. Am I really such an idiot that have ordered a ticket to go back? I am in the middel of it, the history has not ended yet. I will be very sceptical, thank you for telling your histories.

May 14, 2011
could there be real love between a tourist and a cubano?
by: Michelle

hello. thank you all for writing and enlightning other women about the dangers of falling in love...
I went to Cuba recently, also got some emails like those. It was easy for me to ignore because I did not like him in that way.
However, I can't stop thinking about a different cubano, one that I met briefly. I was very attracted to him as he was for me. Nothing happened, as I said goodbye joked with his friend that he would come with me,
I am alone in a foreign country and sometimes think about him and the brief yet strong impact he had on me. He's my age so no age gap issue there. We did not exchange emails, although another friend there has my email and he could get it. So obviously he was chatting me up and moved on quickly.
Beware ladies, they're just like any other man in the world. They just have the way with words to verbalise what they think of you and make you feel special. Just move on, I will because he has not contacted me but I can see how easy it would be to get drowned in the haze of compliments and romantic sayings from someone you felt atracted to...

May 02, 2011
Hello Vic!!
by: Yasmila

I truly understand your concern of the topic's on -"Havana -Guide",and I applaud your expertise on this subject.
The main concern is 'Cuban Sham Marriage's" which is an International nightmare for most Government's,and the many innocent victim's being caught up in this illegal activity,causing emotional and financial ruin,that last a life time.
When you have user's on your web-site,actually entering into a "Sham Marriage" and trying to convince themselve's and other's that it's just fine- and their trying to help a poor person live a better life-that to me, and any intelligent person is just a moronic move with no justification what so ever,and I have to defend my opinion on that one.
Another thing is that on this page we are trying to avoid "Sham Marriage's",by being informative and trying to educate any future victim's on this subject of "International Marriage's" and all of the negative impact it create's not "APPROVE" of them.
Yasmila, I understand your concern, cheating is always wrong, but let us educate our visitors in a friendly and polite way.
Thank you all for your contributions.

Apr 29, 2011
Who Care's!!!
by: Yasmila

Jani-who really care's what you do or don't do! you say your hubby was ok letting you go alone to the "SEX Capitol " of the world and take "Studio Salsa" lesson's think again-what did he do when you were gone-and who care's.
He know's that you are a delusional air- head and treat's you as such-no loving caring person would let their partner travel of all place's to Cuba for Studio Salsa lesson's-did you know that the original "SALSA" and SON originated in Africa??????-stop trying to convince people your smart-because your attitude and action's speak for themselve's.
As for you knowing La Habana better then your so called Cuban friend's-think again their playing you good-you don't know NADA about Cuba or Havana-
but then again who care's,it's your miserable and confusing life!!

Vic Webmaster

Apr 29, 2011
What the...????
by: Jani

I'm not playing games here. Think what you want. Where I was 4 years ago and who I am today is in a very different place mentally and emotionally. I mention my husband to say that I don't go to Cuba to find what I already have here. Only thing is he is into hip hop not salsa and does'nt dance that way. He has no problem that I went to Cuba without him so why should you? For the record, I am a bi-racial woman from Canada. I have been mistaken for Cuban too many times to count making me very appealing for Cubans being that I look similar yet am Canadian with some money or so they think.
I did pay for lessons at a school in Havana. So? Lots of people chose that way. That doesnt make me a fat or stupid person Nor unattrative or obese which I am not. I wanted to learn to dance cuban salsa the fastest way I thought at the time. Getting caught up in the "BS" at one time yes I admit I did. Thats obvious or I wouldnt have been writing to a Cuban in the manner of the letter. It was a little bit of a fantasy I had fun with but stop with the insults..youa re being abusive and angry yourself. You are being far too cynical. Not everyone gets burned like you did. I like this site for the same reason you do. It's interesting and fun. It's clear that there was a time that a Cuban man was playing his game with me and yes for a time I thought "maybe he was different". It was a curiousity at best. I appriciated your comments for the reason I just stated. Im not angry or bitter and could care less. As for caring what other women do...it's their business. It bothers me but I'm not the moral judge of them. It is possible to go to Cuba for sun, beach and to dance without getting involved in any other way with anyone. Also , I didn't go to Havana alone. I was with friends who had never been and it was a pleasure to assist them in a city that can be very intimidating at times and although I am not an expert I do know the city a lot more then they did.

Apr 29, 2011
Hola Jani!
by: Yasmila

You say you just came back from La Habana?-and you were disturbed to see "tourista's' with young good looking men!!-why does that bother you??
What bother's me in your post is you went alone to the "Tourist Sex Capital " of the world and left your "African American " hubby behind!!
And you paid for "Salsa Lesson's"-I got mine for free,and he paid for the drink's too!!=
If you had to pay for anything,you are either-obese-ugly-or-very old,or-dumb and brainless.
Your over view of your so-called trip does not make sense.
And if you think I believe you when you told the hustler's"Solamente aqui par a bailar"-ese palabra's eres una olla de mierda!!
You can fool your "African American " hubby but you can't fool anybody else!

REMARK by Vic, Webmaster

Please, Avoid personal insults, Let us keep the Havana-guide forums, polite and friendly. Do not use rude and rough language in Spanish or English.

Apr 22, 2011
Hi Vic!!
by: Yasmila

Hi vic, how nice of you to have some input on this very sensitive subject.
I know that men and women from all country's come in good and bad specie's.
But its the Cubano who take's this to another level-they actually believe and live their lie's every day,they actually survive on lie's, theivery,abuse-verbal and physical,and God help any foreigner who fall's in love with one.
I lived among them for many month's,and I almost became a victim.
The Cubano proposed to me while having 2 of his Puta's pregnant,he said they mean nothing to him and with that I went running.
He could have convinced anybody he was the "Pope",but being a more mature person,I put into action the "believe only 50% of what you see and hear-and I came up with the answer -LOSER!!
I believe that the victim's of the Cubano's actually do love and want to have a life with their chosen mate-but it's not meant to be because it's all smoke and mirror's.
If I could prevent one reader of your thread from doom and gloom I know I have gotten my point across,it's an excruciating pain-but it could be avoided by putting good common sense to use,and being informed to the fullest about a Cuban Relationship.

Apr 21, 2011
Yasmila you tell it like it is! Good For You!
by: Anonymous

Jan read what Yasmila wrote. Sorry to burst your bubble but she is telling it like it is.

Your man has a way with words, most of them do. And if they are short of the odd prosaic sentiment then they have a whole team to give them ideas.

It's not only him who is penning those flowery messages of love. It's his mom, his novia, his tia, hermano, hermana, all of them are in on the act and will be tapping away at the computer they have access to in work, the university, clinic, with a wry smile on their face.

I know I've been there. I've see the smirk on his friend's face as we drank a Crystal and he laughed out loud with my friend about all the 'Amor' emails he had helped to write.

It's a big game they are playing so wise up before you loose a whole heap of money, and your dignity when in a couple of years down the line he shows his true colours and is behaving like an abusive ass while he abides you for the time being until his papers come though.

Do not kid yourself, any number of women on this website could show you countless examples of such emails. We have been bombarded with them.

Some of us were stupid enough to fall for the BS and paid the price, others were fortunate to read between the lines in time and saved ourselves not only from severe financial but emotional heartbreak.

Now you can live in lala land and believe the bull, pay the price, or you can be realistic and see the lies for what they are.

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