Real Relationship in Cuba

Welcome

Life in Havana

About Havana

Life in Cuba

About Cuba

Cuba Culture

Cuba Info

Havana Updates

Real Relationship in Cuba

by NoFool
(England)

I'm writing this because I find so many of the stories on here either (a) totally against relationships, or (b) written by people who have spent 2 weeks In Cuba and are apparently "in love".

I met my Cuban guy a year ago. Since then, I've managed to spend 4 months in Cuba, across 4 trips - living together - the last trip for 5 weeks. We've had multiple discussions about a future, and what comes out from both us, is that although he would like to visit to my country, he wouldn't want to live there. For him, life is in Cuba, and so now it's down to me to decide whether I can live in Cuba. There's no way he's coming over here, and we both know that.

My guy isn't one of those dodgy ones who intentionally get jobs in resorts in order to meet foreigners, nor is he one of those dance partners who is with a different girl every week. (Please, anyone, if your guy falls into either category, beware). I met him under genuine circumstances, and he has a job. I speak Spanish, he speaks English - we can communicate. Don't mistake "We have lots to talk about" for the reality of "It actually takes us 20 minutes to figure out what could be said in 1 minute".

We text each other 2-3 times a day when I'm not there, he always replies within minutes, as do I. I've met his crazy family, they really are crazy, and he thinks that keeping me and them apart is the best option. I agree, since they would be likely money-grabbers. On the other hand, I've met loads of his friends, who are all really nice guys. I've seen them in clubs, and they aren't after chasing every skirt in town - a group of them can go out together, and just enjoy a night out themselves - they're not constantly chasing girls - lovely guys - not just doing it for me - they're the same every time we go out.

We do occasionally go out to expensive places - Capri, Dos Gardenias, Casa de la Musica - but most nights, we cook at home, watch TV, play dominoes while chatting, and go to the movies once or twice a week. We have a NORMAL life there - we don't live as though it's a constant vacation.

I feel comfortable with what we have. Maybe others will pick bones in what I've said, but I do say to all girls who fall for a Cuban man, is to evaluate your experience with them. If you are in a resort, and constantly partying, then that is what the man is looking for in life. If you are cooking at home together, or out, but rushing back to watch La Favorita on TV at 9:30, with a slice of pineapple, and haggling over whether to go out for a walk to feed the stray cats after dinner with your left-overs, but be back home by 11, because you have a busy day tomorrow, then you are living a real Cuban life.

Get real - life isn't a constant vacation.

You have to go out to work, have to pay bills - if you haven't discussed how you will do that, and all you have together is nights in a salsa bar until 6am, then you are living in a dream world of constant vacation-state.

Simple question - how many times have you done the mundane things like going to the market, searching for carrots and onions, and then cooked at home together, and stayed in with the TV? That's what life is really like for the next 40 years, and if you haven't done it with him, and all you have done is go out partying, then question it, because he'll be off like a shot once he realises that life isn't one big party. If he's happy to spend those nights at home with you, he's probably a keeper.

Comments by Vic Webmaster Havana-guide.com

I am glad to read your story, you have a realistic and balanced view of the life in Cuba.
The real life is not in the resorts. A relation with a Cuban man can work, if he's not the jinetero, gigolo type. There are several good mixed marriages in Cuba, but also bad relations, don't underestimate the Latin Macho culture in Cuba. You speak Spanish and he speaks English, this is a great advantage, good communication is essential. Notwithstanding this I want to point to possible pitfalls.

1) A problem you will face is that a long distance relation rarely works, so eventualy you have to decide on a permanent living in Cuba. To get a permanent residence in Cuba, you must be married to a Cuban citizen.

2) You have to consider the financial consequences. Like most Cubans, he has to struggle to meet ends, can he support a family with 15-20 Cuc? Can you live in his house? Many Cubans live together with their parents or family. Does he has to support his family? (father, mother) In Cuba your family is your social security!

3) What are you going to do? Forget a job in Cuba, for a foreigner it's almost impossible. Next year the government will layoff 500,000 workers!

4) You will need a financial buffer, a nest-egg (preferably abroad) in case you want to visit relatives in the UK, don't underestimate this. Living for years in Cuba is different than a period of 3-4 months. I have seen foreigners going broke in Cuba, and without money their marriage too!

5) But finally, if it is your dream, go for it, there are foreigners that live a happy life in Cuba!
GOOD LUCK!
Life in Cuba

Comments for
Real Relationship in Cuba

Average Rating

Click here to add your own comments

Jan 25, 2012
Rating

an opinion from an "insider"
by: cubanita

ohhh I am soo glad to read you, you are soo clever (I am the cuban girl who already posted her story here in this forum about my relationship with a Dutch man who is my happy husband !)

Aug 20, 2011
Rating

Love in the real world
by: Kat

You sound like you have found something genuine with your Cubano and your story has been a welcome read based on a balanced viewpoint and a positive experience.

I'm curious about the nature of the relationships between Cuban men and Cuban women however. Who has the upper hand? In general, do Cuban men treat their Cuban partners with courtesy and respect or do all pretty much behave like jineteros (scamming women for money, clothes, a place to live).

Jul 05, 2011
Rating

Re: Tell what you think?
by: Anonymous

So did you meet him again and how did it goes?
It's very expensive to use the phone from Cuba, even us the Canadians. So in honesty, the Cubans couldn't afford to call you that many mins.

I also know that though life in Cuba can be cheap but most tourist places like restaurants or bars still charge the locals more or less then same price. Gas is also 1cuc per liter and even when you buy a beer at the gas store, it's still 1cuc. I don't know how any Cuban can actually survive there. Perhaps gasoline and beer are also considered luxury goods, hence being taxed heavily.

Even your man tend to have more money than a regular locals and could afford to pay for you most of the time, he would eventually run into issues as you've described.

If he hasn't ask for anything from you up to now and has paid most of the time when you go out, you should recognize that it is something quite special. Try to pursue it a bit more if your heart tell you to but also keeps in mind of all these stories so that you can be aware of any red flag.

Enjoy! There are still good people in this world but less so in a world like Cuba perhaps?

May 03, 2011
Rating

Tell what you think?
by: Anonymous

O.k I met a Cuban. I have only been there twice so far. I have made it clear that I do not have any intension to bring him here. He pays for me when we go anywhere, and hasn't asked me for anything except just now, yes, for texting me because we messaged each other like crazy when I got home. He told me he did not have money to talk so much but I insisted he reply which he did so I sort of understand him asking, because if not we can't continue to chat. He does have 2 kids which he told me about on my second trip. I met his family, but I've read that lots of people meet the family, doesn't really mean much from what I hear. I was wondering how he had money to buy his phone and learned that aside from working at a hotel he is a mechanic, which I have witnessed so that's true. He has sent me home when he hasn't money to pay for me, but who knows maybe he just had to go.... oh ya I did pay a hotel one night but he dragged me around with this man looking for something he could afford. I did not realize what he was doing until later when he couldn't find one and told me how embarrassed he was. He said that the man pays for the women, which he had all day and now was out of funds. He was also shy to walk around cause he said everyone will think I am your prostitute, but he still did. I don't have plans to marry this man, but still I don't want to be an idiot. I figure I am far and this is easy enough to end if i must, but still I am in it right now, and wondering what you guys think. Obviously if he asks for stuff that will say it all, but so far he has not taken advantage of me. I am not a fatty, and I hate to say that, but thanks to all the comments above I feel I need to clarify that I am attractive so don't count that when you are giving me advice. For the record I believe we are all beautiful. One girl did mention the spanish, I am trying to learn and I so wish I could understand everything, damn!I need something better guys, something solid that will really let me know. My skepticism lies in the fact that he is young, hot, and surrounded by women all the time. It seems normal. I was bothering him about ladies and eventually he told me I can't really prove anything to you. You are my sunshine, but you have no confidence in me so you don't deserve me. tell me guys cause I am out to lunch on this one, and please try to be objective using your mind and not your emotions when responding to my situation. Peace and Love to all, thanks!

Mar 23, 2011
Rating

We aren't all the same-You
by: Jacqueline

Please Ross/anonymous don't put everyone who make comments on this site in the same basket, that makes your statement questionable, no? Accusing people to not know better, but what we all know about what others have been through, we can't judge others experiences/life cause weren't there to experienced it....People here are just commenting on their own experiences and it's Ok.

My experiences when I lived in Madrid compare to London or Chamonix are totaly different, it is a question of culture and own experiences, I don't think it has something to do with the fact that someone never have seen the world.

Although I do agree with we are all fools one way or another, and honestly we are make mistakes and misjudgements at one time or another...

Mar 20, 2011
Rating

To No Fool
by: Anonymous

The Thread is dying as it should. I hope you have not quit reading.
Canadians are ill prepared to experience the real world. Cuba is a strange place. It feels safe. Thanks to communism and a police state for years and years we get to feel special when we are there. People in Cuba are desperate but well educated, huge tourism industry, not much differenct than .."name a poor country" but without the guns and robberies that would frighten a poor woman away, and her man and her sons and the relatives.
It really bugs me to hear the same whining voice of the those cheated as if they have the right to judge things from only their eyes. The world is not a safe place. Anyone who has travelled the world knows it. Canadians have it drummed into them that we are good people and if we take people into our hearts they will respond like us. Hello? Get real.

You are fools protecting fools. I think protecting fools is good, because we are all fools, one way or another. I came to this site for protection, for advice. I am a fool in some ways and smart in other ways.

But after I digest you I have to say this: You can't generalize about people, about a race or a culture, or about sex. You don't have the right to interfere or make small what others have chosen.

Serve and protect. Don't be Nazi on every love story that comes through your door...you have no right to be mean and then pick, pick, pick at every heart felt response. Run for office if you want. You can bitch me out now. I guess you all drink whine alot,

I'd like to know what other third world countries you have visited and why you think Cuba is special. Can you name a better one? Did you get sucked into thinking your values meant more in Cuba than in Africa or SE Asia or the Philippines?
Did you forget you left your own country and culture? Did the big resort confuse you? When did you forget her/his culture and start to imprint your own love crap on it??

You teach folks but you also hate.

Travel a bit, get off the tour bus and get outside your cultured value system of blame and control.

Hooray for No Fool. She took serious crap from you-all. You know nothing about it. You are prejudicial to a high degree because you do not understand the details of a person who is not travelling on the tour bus. You are lost in hurt.

No Fool knows way more about international travel than any of you do. Question...who of you has lived outside of Canada and for how long?

You are putting your simple Canadian values on the table and then being demanding when they are not being met.

Who has traveled?

Last time I checked, we are foreigners in Cuba.

Why do you judge Cuban people as if they are Canadian?

Why do you judge people as if they all met the folks at the resort.

This site is for foreigen people who know nothing about Cuba.

Can you temper your anger a bitÉ

Ross

Mar 14, 2011
Rating

For NO FOOL in England
by: Anonymous

Maybe your Cuban man says he doesn't want to leave because he can't leave until Cuba lets him. My husband was denied exit for 10 years (twice for 5 each) so he will keep you hooked until he is allowed to emigrate. My husband also was not from a touristy area. He could not be described as the basic hustlers most women here are describing. We spent months together in Cuba doing everything mundane and not together. After 2 years, my Jamaican friends got him a tourist visa for 3 weeks and we got married in Jamaica. I got pregnant on my honey moon. After he returned to Cuba from Jamaica, Cuba would not allow him to leave Cuba again for 10 years. I raised my child alone and went broke visiting Cuba with her so she could be part of her Cuban family. She was baptized in Santeria and her Cuban family is deeply devoted to their religion and we embarked on quite an adventure. Finally, after YEARS of not living full time together, Cuba let him emigrate. After one year in the states I found out that he had another kid in Cuba. He lied and said the child was older than ours and that he left the relationship before knowing me. The truth came out a month later that this child was born just shortly after ours meaning he was sleeping with his Cuban girlfriend and got her pregnant shortly after marrying me. WAKE UP! He is telling you he doesn't want to leave Cuba as a ploy so you will never think he is using you for a visa. He probably can't emigrate yet for some reason such as a police record or court sentence which often includes prohibition from emigrating.

Remark by Vic, webmaster
This statement is correct, Cubans can only leave the country after 10 years when they have a Police/criminal record! When they work in the medical sector they can only leave after 3-5 years.

Feb 25, 2011
Rating

Pasty white skinned women
by: Anonymous

Just to let you know. Cuban guys prefer pasty white skinned blond women. Attractive of course. If you fit that bill, you have it made

Jan 22, 2011
Rating

Could Not Agree More Jaqueline
by: Donna

So many women on here keep asking for reasurance that their gigolo is for real, that he loves them, When if they had genuine love they would not have to ask.

You are so right when you say do not give them money or gifts then see how 'real' the love is and how long they will stick around.

What comes across loud and clear is many of the women who return for yet more punishment need to get some self esteem.

Seek medical advise for their obesity issues and get some counselling to deal with their low self esteem and to discover why they are so mnasochistic when it comes to men.

Why they allow themselves to be abused and ripped off by so many worthless men who clearly hold them in contempt.

Jan 13, 2011
Rating

REALLY??
by: Jaqueline

HUMM?? That makes me laugh reading all those comments, putting the fault on the Cubans Aren?t we those who are going to their island?? If they weren?t any tourists who will have given them the opportunity to do that, they will never have learned how to rip off people, they aren?t the only one to blame!! Sorry but how many tourist goes down south to have a good time with some chocolate babes?? There are not that fool either, they probably realized that they can also take advantage of it, if you are too stupid to get stuck in their manipulations too bad so sad!! Not that I agree with that lifestyle, but seriously be smart when you met a Cuban, I have been to Cuba many times, I have met bad and good Cubans, like in any other countries!! Like I said be smart or should I say common sense, some situation are quite obvious that money is the only matter!! If you really want to make sure about your relationship with your "lover",like others said before, don?t give them money or any type of expensive gifts, and see how long they stick around!

Jan 03, 2011
Rating

Correction.
by: Donna

The last sentence was meant to read...

But best of all your money will NOT disappear faster than the speed of light.

Jan 03, 2011
Rating

My Happiest Moments in Cuba Have Been Man Free
by: Donna

Like many ladies on here I too have been conned used, leeched off by a Cuban hustler.

They are always very very charming at the start, telling you how much they love you while holding you in a grip tight arm lock, so tight u almost suffocate.

They then proceed to bombard you with robotic texts and emails, the text you'll be paying for if you're naive enough. On your second trip the demands will creep in, how much they need this or that, how desperate their family is to install a shower or build an extension, paint their home etc. etc. Suddenly they are Mr. Miserable, who whinges whines and is not fun to be around anymore.

You hear about their various illegitimate children but not from them, a neighbour will drop a few hints, and you soon realise he is not at all the catch he'd like to think he is.

Then you start to enjoy your vacations in Cuba which are man free. You discover the lovely women who run the casas who mother you and tell you about the best places to visit, to dance, they dote on you with delicious meals and you make friend for life.

You will dance all night beneath the stars in Trinidad, boogie the night away at Romerio di Mayo in Holguin, check out the stunning off the beaten track powder white beaches you never new existed before.

You will have lots of fun, and enjoy yourself a lot more than when you were with your man who showed himself for what he truly was like most of the men who prey on Yumas - A Jinitero.

But best of all your money will now disappear faster than the speed of light and you will return home stress free, relaxed and happy.

Jan 02, 2011
Rating

You Arrogant Self Assured Smug Bitter Woman!
by: Donna

Your last post confirms you as unsure about your Jinitero.

You come on here a very bitter woman, unsure of your relationship with your jinitero, while denegrading other women so cocky and self asssured that your Jinitero is 'for real'.

Well wake up and smell the coffee.

Read Vic' post about the cut backs and the desperation that will create and the financial reliance on fools like you who believe it's the real thing.

You write as if you are the only woman who ever shopped at a Cuban market or found her own casa.

Well I can assure you the majority of women are not as stupid or naive as you or as you make them out to be.

I speak fluent Spanish. I travel around Cuba as a Cuban and pay for transport in pesos. I negotiate a better price for my own casa.

Most Yumas do, they know the score, they are fully aware that having a Jinitero in tow ensures that at least another 5 per night cucs will be added on.

We are not the bunch of naive imbeciles you make us out to be.

The only difference is you are the mug believing the B.S.

We have wised up and taken a reality check.

We realise that what we have worked for is our nest egg, not to be wasted on some loafer jinitero who will milk you for every last penny, for all that he can extort from you his cash cow.

Have you not read Vic' advice to you about having a substantial nest egg to finance your Jinitero and his extended family.

Good Luck!!

You Will Need It.

There's a Sucker, a Mug born every day and he certainly saw you coming. :).

Jan 01, 2011
Rating

Replies
by: No Fool

Couldn't resist checking in again to see what other anti-Canadian, anti-Brit, anti-fat, anti-pasty, anti-everything else that these angry women have managed to post. Seems few have read my other posts on here, buti I won't bother to repeat my comments.

I find the stories hilarious of what women have fallen for - babes, try investing a year into learning Spanish instead? I've never got into ANY relationship with a guy unless I speak his language to a near 80-90% fluency - otherwise, you might as well stick a notice on your forehead "MUG".

Out of interest, of all the women who fell for Cubans - how many of you spoke fluent Spanish, and could fully understand everything that was going on around you? Understood when he was referring to his wife, or his kids, or know what those calls were on his mobile as he chatted away??? Nope, you just fell for a beautiful smile, and believed "Te amo". I understand everything he says, on phone or in person, and he never ducks out to take a "private" call'. Interestingly enough, my guy & I don't declare to be in love - neither have said "te amo" to the other, and our emails are simply full of hilarious stories about life - he certainly doesn't come out with all the 'te quiero' crap. Now, you'll probably criticise that if he doesn't say "te quiero", then he isn't serious.

I know quite a few serious business people in Cuba, to know how things work there. No man is going to tell me how much a phone costs, or how much an apartment rental costs. I do my own deals. We arrive in bus stations in other cities, and he leaves the negotiations to me, because we've proved I can get a better deal than him (talking in Spanish, of course). If you can say the same, I'll pay attention to your comments.

If you rely on a man (in any country), you're headed downhill.

For those who question why I'm posting on here - it was never for reassurance. It was because I read SO many negative stories, I thought it was time for a positive one.

Jan 01, 2011
Rating

'No Fool' - Do Not Make Me Laugh.
by: Rick

To 'No Fool' It's clear from your post that you are only fooling yourself that your hustler is for real. Do not make me laugh. Cut all financial aid to him, cut the regalos the clothes the dinners and you would not see your Jinitero for dust.

Desperate middle aged women like you who fly to Cuba looking for love and who shower gifts and spend money on these loafers, are responsible for converting a whole generation of Cuban men into lazy workshy losers, hustlers.

Why should they work when you wine and dine them, clothe them and subsidise their lazy ass lifestyles.

Well ladies you will have even more hustlers chasing your wallet now, because last week Raul Castro cut subsidies for toiletries.

So now the Hustlers will be lining up for their walking cash cows from Canada and UK.

The 'Te Quiero Mucho' 'Te Amo' B.S.emails, will be churned out by the millions as they become even more desperate for a Cash Cow to subsidise their lazy lifestyle.

Castro says monthly ration book will also be slashed to overhaul economy and prevent financial crisis.

Cubans rushed to buy, soap and toothpaste today before the government ends subsidies. Families stocked up at stores using ration books which from tomorrow will no longer include "personal cleanliness products".

Castro, warned that the monthly ration book, along with the vast state payroll, would be slashed to overhaul the communist economy and stave off a financial crisis.

With average monthly salaries of £13, many Cubans relied on rations for the basics. Cigarettes, salt, peas and potatoes were removed from the list this year.

A bar of soap will jump from 2p to 14p. Toothpaste will increase to 22p.

So 'Snow Angel' and 'No Fool' and all of the Canadian Chubbies, I hope you have a nest egg sufficiently large to keep subsiding even more of your Jinitero's family needs.

Dec 31, 2010
Rating

Fortunately I found him out before marrying him.
by: Anonymous

I agree with the last poster and also with what many women have posted on here, on how Cuban men change into abusive cheating thugs once you have married them.

I thank God that I discovered the true nature of my Cuban man before taking the rash decision of flying him here.

Like all the greatest con men, he too kept assuring me how much he loved his country, never wanted to leave, how he was single had no dependents, no kids etc.

He would write to me poetic emails every day, telling me how much he adored me, loved me, missed me.

There was a repetitiveness to his emails I have to admit. But then there's a script which all Cuban con men write.

Alarm bells should have rung out when one of the senders of his emails Yordi, told me there would be no more emails at least from his address as my friend owed him 10 cuc for emails he'd sent.

Another alarm bell rang when he kept insisting I book this fantastic casa he had found, where he need not sign a register, we could be alone, great terrace etc.

I put my foot down on this one told him I had located my own great casa recommended by friends, he kept insisting. I wondered why he was bothered about signing a register when I was forking out almost $2,000 for this trip in total, I was staying for three weeks and he lives far from anywhere.

When we met I realised he had changed, perhaps had met someone else, he kept lecturing me on how life was so hard, how he needed at least 100 cuc for repairs etc.

He needed 90 cuc for a cellphone so he could text me every day. He insisted on showing me the room which I hated, small dark, next to the family. The owner kept interrogating me about my plans to fly him here etc.

I began to feel it was all a set up. He was annoyed when I would not eat at my casa every night, no doubt he was hungrier than me, but it pissed him off bigtime.

He kept asking the owner of the casa why I was not eating there when I had 'plenty of money'.

I later discovered he had children by other women, he later denied this but then admitted it. Said he felt they were.

"Merely an aventura and did not matter at all".

This annoyed me big time.

We had many rows, I stood up to him, I held on to my phone, told him I had not brought it, but gave him lot of my clothes which he sold.

He was so romantic on my last night, but failed to show up at the airport.

He actually did me a favour. I have seen through a major Cuban scammer and saved my self from a lot of unnecessary pain.

I have reported him to his local authorities, other women should be warned. He is a lying devious conman.

I urge other women to do the same. Report a crook, they are crooks.

Dec 30, 2010
Rating

yeah right!!!!
by: Anonymous

i have been marrid to a cuban who was GENUINE etc you will wake up sooner or later and realise what knobs cubans are!!!!!""!

Dec 28, 2010
Rating

To The Last Poster You Sound Pretty Bitter Yourself.
by: Anonymous

To the previous poster shame on your for denegrading women who post on here as...'Emibittered Spinsters'.

You sure you're not 'No Fool? 'embittered' by the honest replies to your original post?

This great website and the lovely webmaster Vic, provides a very useful service, a platform where women can air and share their feelings.

Vent their emotions. Nothing wrong with that.

Cuban men as we are all aware, are amongst the biggest scammers in the world. Read through the posts for evidence of this. They are effectively destroying Cuban tourism.

One small but significant point related to the cost of mantaining a cellphone line being $10 or $20 dollars.

It's just yet another example of one more another scam being pulled by a Cuban jinitero.

This website plays a very useful role in allowing women who've been duped by con artist to vent their emotions. They can also receive another point of view.

In the case of 'No Fool' for example who's clearly trying to convince herself as much as us, that her Jinitero is 'For Real'.,

As someone wisely pointed out to her.

Stop paying for his meals at fancy restaurants, stop feeding him. Stop maintaining him and his family and see how long he sticks around.

Wise words, and a balanced point of view.

Love as they say can be blind.

There's nothing wrong at all, with introducing a sense of perspective, a word of advice when some unsuspecting yuma is being taken to the cleaners, yet cannot see it at the time, she is caught up in the emotions of what she thinks is love, when in fact she is being used, conned big time.

Those women who have been burnt, can share their experiences.

That is the great aspect of this website. Unlike family or friends, it does not judge or have an axe to grind, women can write about their experiences and chose to accept or not another point of view.

However when they happen to be caught up in the whirlwind of love, or what they see as love, they may reject that advice.

In time, in hindsight they will see how true those words were, but that will be only after they have been badly hurt and stung for a substantial amount of money.

Hopefully some might be prevented from being conned before
it's too late by discovering this website.

Dec 27, 2010
Rating

Get a Life
by: Anonymous

What a weird exchange! There are failed relationships everywhere, but I've never seen anything like this.

Girls, remember forgiveness is something you do for yourself. Do you think he is suffering at all by you coming on here every night and slagging off Cuban relationships?? NO, it's only your life that is being controlled by it. He is living his life, but you're turning into embittered spinsters.

As for all the international slagging off, it seems that Yankies, Canadians, Brits, or anyone else in western world are pretty crap at maintaining marriages, whoever it is they marry. As for the pasty fat gals from other countries - er hello? Have you seen Americans??? They're the joke of the world. (As indeed they are, in any case). I know it's a generalisation, but that seems to be what people do on here.

Dec 27, 2010
Rating

KIRSTY
by: Anonymous

To Kirsty, it actually costs 10 cuc every 3 months to keep a mobile phone line going, dont know why you think its 20 cuc a month, whoever told you that was lying.

Dec 26, 2010
Rating

"Palabras Palabras"
by: Donna

Wise words from my lovely casa hotess.

"Palabras, Palabras, they're just words. They mean nothing, action are what count", she would say. She should know, her husband cheated on her during a 25 year old marriage, and she never trusted him again.

She told me that in general Cuban men are just incapable of being faithfuful.
She also gave me some sound advice...

'Donna, never go out without more than a few CUC, any more and they will get round you to spend it. You will find yourself paying for him, his friends who will pop up mysteriouly and his family. Shove no more than a couple of cuc into your bra along with your key she told me.

I took her advice and it was right. I'd been having huge doubts about my friend.

There was a cute guy who had been smiling at me all week, telling me how much we had in common, he played guitar, loved to travel ,we liked the same music etc. What a great dancer he was, etc. etc.
He kept telling me how much he wanted to date me, know me.

So one late afternoon I stopped off at the bar he worked at, it was his night off. I'd had an argument with my friend, he had lied to me about being a father and according to my casa owner he had three by different women.

So I decided to stop by at have a chat with the cute barman, it was his day off.
His face lit up when he saw me.

He asked the bar man to play my favourite Los Van Van track pulled up two chairs for us beneath a tree, and immediately ordered himself a Crystal.
This was before I so much as sat down, he was beaming from ear to ear, telling me how gorgeous I was, as he started to salsa, all snake hipped around me.

I looked at him straight in the eye, and told him that since he'd invited me I presumed he was paying for the drinks. I'd have a Mojito.

But he had to be aware that I did not have any money on me, not even a centavo.

I was returning from the beach and carried no more than a book and house keys.
His face fell, he handed back the beer to the barman and the tone went dead.
I told him I had to get back and left.

This is just one example of how Cuban men see us as a walking ATM, a cash dispenser.

My Cuban friend is a wise woman, she has worked extremely hard to build up her business, she told me that in general Cuban men are unfaithful, and lazy, and they all want a yuma to maintain them since Cuban women are on to them and do not put up with the crap.

So ladies, if you want to know if he's for real, (so few are) then stop buying him drinks, paying for his food, bringing him presents, ipods, cell phones etc.
Then see how long he remains interested in you.

Dec 24, 2010
Rating

'Real Relationships' in Cuba - A Tiny Minority.
by: Anonymous

I agree with Pilon when he says she estimate that real relationships in Cuba are just 2%.

'Real' is not what is being described by 'No Fool'. No. Way.

Purchasing a man in that way, paying for meals in fancy restaurants, maintaining his family, is a financial transaction nor a romance or a 'real relationship'.

Cuban men have little respect for foreign women who purchase them. No man no matter how poor wants to be bought.

Men have dignity and sense of shame.

Even the worst Jinitero hustlers have a sense of shame at what they are doing, which is selling their bodies to older foreign women.

As a Canadian woman I am deeply ashamed of how my fellow Canadians have created a culture of begging, expectation, and male whoredom in Cuba.

I have seen them travel to the resorts laden with gifts for their male prostitutes.

Totally in denial of the fact they are being used.

As much as they are using the male whores whom they pay with expensive gifts, Canadian dollars and the ultimate prize -
A ticket to Canada and a visa by way of marriage.

I really have no sympathy whatsoever for the thousands of women who claim they were fooled, duped, conned into fake marriages.

I would tell them to wake up. Look in the mirror. Do they honestly think that their young Cuban hustler really loved them for their looks, their size, their age and not purely for their wallet?.

Does that 18 stone 50 something from Montreal waddling along the beach at Varadero with her 25 year old male whore, really believe he is with her for love?.

Or the 45 year old Brit who's wining and dining her Jinitero around Havana while maintaining his lazy ass lifestyle and also that of his extended family (who invite her to funerals).:).

Hilarious..'Oh he loves me for real he invites me to funerals' Does this deluded mature woman honestly believe he loves her for real?.

And not for any other reason than for the money to pay for his extended family and his many illegitimate offspring, and keep himself kitted out in the latest Puma, ipods and Nike designer clothing.?.

If they believe that then are in serious denial and they need help.

Because reality will eventually kick in when they realise how much they are in debt.

Not just financially, but also emotionally.

Dec 23, 2010
Rating

You May Look Like A Cuban But How Do You Behave?>
by: Brit

To Anonymous, you say you could be taken for a Cuban, so what?

It's how you behave and what you accept that counts.

My former work colleague is Asian/Indian, and she could be taken for a 'Cuban' but only in shade, however in terms of the crap she takes accepts from her Cuban husband there is no way her behaviour could be taken in any way as 'Cuban'.

Her hubby wiped his feet on her, beat her up, slept around London, did not maintain his son. Screwed the State system.
Never worked.

What did she do after he was deported?.

Spent over £2,000 to fly back to him and packed two very large excess baggage, suitcases of presents for him.

Now she is wining and dining him in Havana right now.

Hardly the actions of a true Cuban woman.

A Cuban woman would have had her brotthers sort the jerk out and have him locked up for abusive violent behaviour and unpaid maintenance.

In that I have respect for the Cuban woman with Cojones.

Dec 23, 2010
Rating

I Have To Agree If My Friend Is Anything To Go By.
by: Brit

I have never been to Cuba.

But my friend/ former work colleague is besotted in a masochistic way with the man she married and who treated her like s.hit and had to deport back to Havana with the help of the British Police.

He played around big time, cheated on her with many women. Was violent and abusive to her.

Did not maintain her or his son. Did not work during the five year he lived in the UK. Instead he sponged off the State.

What does he do?

Having evicted him with the help of the police you think she would have had him locked up.

No, she has paid £2,000 to return to him for Xmas with her young son, on a Cubana flight with two extra bags stuffed with presents for this violent thug and parasite.

She is prepared to open up a shop for this loser in Havana, despite the fact he despise her, wiped his feet in her, played around and continues to play around in Cuba.

How low can you stoop to?

A. is a typical example of the low self esteem many English women stoop to in order to keep a loser in their life.

A. reminded me so much of 'No Fool' after I read her post today.
I am British but am not proud of how some women of my race behave.

Dec 23, 2010
Rating

To The Cuban Man you Are A Pale Podgy Yuma :)
by: Edwina

Let' face it Anonymous.

To the Cuban man you are pale podgy and unattractive.

I have been to Cuba many times.

I peak Spanish and I have heard how the men there they describe you.

English women are the easiet Yumas to play. Easiest to get into bed.

The most generous,mot accepting of bad behaviour, and easiest to play, also with the lowest self esteem of any race.

Now that is not coming from me but from my Cuban male friends.

Sorry if you are unable to accept it.

But it's a fact.

You are not quite so obese as the Canadians, but please do read the accounts of the sad stories from
'No Fool'
Annie, and
Daniella

for proof of what they have accepted and continue to accept from nasty Cuban men, and how deeply they happen to be in denial of their horrible situation, yet continue to accept it.

British women top the world league when it comes to very low self esteem and acceptance of nasty behaviour from men.

Perhaps it is because of their conditioning, what they witnessed in childhood.

The way their fathers treated their mothers.

Think about that.

Beside that Brits tend to be pale, paty and these days a lot more podgy, though not quite so podgy as the Candians.

Dec 23, 2010
Rating

Take offence to that Edwina
by: Anonymous brit

Edwina, we are not all podgy brits I will have you know, dont know you got that impression, I too have a man in Cuba, and I am no way near podgy, or fat and fifty, and he's not a young boy of 24 either.
Not all women are podgy and pale faced either, I could pass for a latino till I open my mouth lol
So you shouldnt sterotype us.

Dec 23, 2010
Rating

Some Women Never Learn.
by: Brit

No fool reminds me so much of a Londoner I used to work with who had a great career and a happy life until it all went pear shaped after she met a Cuban man now her etranged husband. Not sure if he ever divorced him but he gave her hell.

The guy never worked a day since she brought him here from Havana, he also has links to Camaguay.

He played around the Latino night clubs and set up a Facebook page claiming to be 'single'.

The silly woman was so desperate that he set up another page as a 'Sexy Hot Latina Chic' and flirted with him. But he did not need to he was already screwing around the Latino London club scene.

He screwed every Latina tart in London, lord knows what nasty viruses he brought home to her.

He was also an abusive violent thug and a lousy father to their son now almost 5, whom he never supported, never fed, never maintained. He lived off the State.

He knew she had access to cash, her family are shrewed Asians with property in India, so he milked her for all he could.

She had to reply on the help of the police and her family to kick him out.

But some women never learn..ever.

Having bought him a one way ticket back to Cuba the silly woman has returned to Cuba to spend Christmas with him at great expense to her while the loser is still screwing the State to maintain his playboy lifestyle in Havana and Camaguay.

So the stupid woman has returned for more punishment. She flew back a week ago to be with him at great expense and brought an extra suitcase of presents, clothes for him.

What an Idiot!.

I cannot see how she believes he has changed., He has been getting his friend to emailing her to say he has 'found religion' and is a 'changed man'.

Instead of spending Xmas in Prison here, this loafer is being wined and dined around Havana at her expense.

Meanwhile he has never given her so much as a dime towards the maintenance of their son.

Why do losers and con men always hide behind /use religion as a mask to hide their crimes?.

Rasta/Yuruba/Santeria.

B.S.!

Words for 'don't want to work'!.

.All Bull .S. trotted out by loafers.

Losers too lazy to haul their lazy asses out of bed to do an honest day's work to support themselves or their offspring.

Like I said, some women never learn, they keep returning to losers for yet more punishment.

She has posted her account of the abuse he suffered on this site.

So why is she returning for more punishment?

Dec 23, 2010
Rating

Who Are You Trying To Convince it's 'Real'..Us? or Yourself?
by: Anonymous

It seems that you are not convinced that your relationship is 'Real'.

If you were you would not be posting on here.

If you were really convinced about it being for real why would you be seeking reassurance from people on this website?.

What do you want us to tell you?.

'Oh for sure he loves you and will love and honour and obey till death do you part'?.

'No of course he does not expect you to maintain him and his extended family and children by former g/friends'.

'No of course he doe not expect you to fly him to the UK/Canada'. He loves his country. (yeah right)

'No of course he would not dream about you picking up the tab in all those touristy expensive Havana restaurants such as Capri and the like'.

'No of course he does not want you to pay for his cellphone bills, he love you madly and will pay for all of the above himself'.

And pigs can fly.

And I believe in the tooth fairy and Father Xmas.

Dec 23, 2010
Rating

You Pompous Bitter Old Woman!.
by: Edwina

No Fool you come across as xxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
REMOVED inappropriate language and insults
Webmaster.

It's no big deal you meet his family.

We are all introduced to the family at the start.
They want you to know just how many they will be expecting you to maintain.

So meeting the momma and the abuela and the
hermanos and hermanas is no big deal at all.
You will end up maitaining the lot of them now you have been merited with 'Mujer' status :)

A Yuma 'Mujer' is the Jackpot to the average Cuban man.So do not kid yourself.

And no this is not about cats or knives out. None of us are envious of you. More that we pity you, as you are being had.

And believe me you will need a female friend in a year' s time when the reality kicks in and you find he is cheating with you not just with another Cuban but a yuma or two. It' part of the course with a Cuban.

We have all done the market shopping , the cooking together, the word of love whispered into the ear, it is all part of the Cuban man charm offensive script you silly woman.

Cuban men are not turned on by pale faced podgy Brits.

Why would they when they have red hot blooded sexy caramel skins beauties and they always have them in the background.

Do not kid yourself.
You can never compete.
You are old.
You are Bitter (your posts confirm you as that.)
You are pale and unsexy to him.
But you are a wallet. A meal ticket for life.

No more. No less.

And in a country like Cuba with average wage $15 a month you are a god send.
You are nothing special to him so wake up.
You are a walking ATM.
A pale faced Yuma trust fund.

A financial bond to ensure that he and his extended andassorted offspring will never go hungry in Havana.
And if you are mug enough to play along with the B.S. script, and believe the Bull then More Fool You.!

Dec 22, 2010
Rating

Sign-off
by: NoFool

I'll sign-off by saying that me, being 35, my man is 18 months younger than me, which is nothing. I am good friends with his mother and his best friend (recall I speak Spanish, so I don't miss a word), and I would know if he was married or had kids, purely by reference to them, if it existed. I've also been to family funerals and weddings. How many others say that about their loved ones on here?

Dec 22, 2010
Rating

Response
by: NoFool

Vic

Thanks for your comments.

Now I see at first-hand how the knives and cats' claws come out on this website. I was writing this to display the characteristics of my man, but many seem to turn into a personal attack on me. I'm no older, rich, broad. I'm 35. Have lived in 15+ different countries since childhood, speak a few languages, and am well-versed on long-distance relationships, as well as cross-cultural ones. I've had relationships with men richer and poorer than me. (Funny how many women do a high-five when a friend lands a millionaire, but are 100% suspicious when the man earns less). I'm not wealthy, by the way - my car would struggle to get $1000 if I sold it. Nor am I English, I'm just here at the moment.

I rarely spend more than 3 months at a time in any country - I'm always on the move - and get a job before I go (not on my back, which I'm saying just to avoid the snipes). It's a lifestyle that suits me, and others could do it, if they spent more time surfing the internet on productive pastimes, instead of gossipy websites. I couldn't be in Cuba 365 - I know that, and he knows that - I'm happy with it. And I'm happy with what we have. If we can be together 6-8 months a year, that will suffice - I'm not looking for marriage and kids. I'm not heard-hearted, but I do know what I want in life - and that's to enjoy it. No regrets, and no fretting on what might be....

No doubt I've now invited a lot more messages from those who log on here every day to spat out their thoughts. I won't be logging on again. The contributors so far seem to have totally missed the point of my message, and only seem intent on bringing either me or my guy down. I've lived in enough countries to know con-men exist everywhere - what's the divorce rate in USA?? In Canada?? In UK??

It's experience of those con-men that allows you to sort them out from the good guys, and that was the essence of my original message. I don't support my guy - he earns good money in his trade. Nor do I buy him expensive presents. A night at one of the places I mention isn't impossible, if you're both on decent money. I don't pay for everything. If you do, then you are the ones who need to be questioning where you are.

By the way, the cellphone is registered in a different country - it cost $15 to buy the phone - and his bill to text me twice a day is less than $10 a month. You need to look into it if your guy says can't text you every day.

Dec 22, 2010
Rating

'No Fool' Needs to 'Get Real'
by: Anonymous

No Fool you seem so sure of yourself and your relationship and you smugly tell other women on here to 'Get Real'.

But it's you who needs to wise up and get real. What makes you think your man would stay with you if you stopped financing your relationship, funding his meals, cellphone, day to day living.

And when you marry whatmakes you think he will remain fairthful to you?.

Cuban men are incapable of being faithfull to one woman.

I met an athlete in Havana, he was 'faithful' to me while cheating on his wife.

He asked me to live in Havana but he would see me every other day He honestly believed I might consider this arrangement.

He called me daily, still emails me telling me he loves me. I'm sure he does, but I am not prepared to accept his conditions.

Cuban men do not think like we do. To them being unfaithful is a perfectly natural way of living.It's normal.

I was lucky, I did not give him any presents nor did I spend anything on him as you are doing with your man.

Take the advice of the previous poster who suggested that you stop financing your man, stop paying for his cellphone, food,drinks, stop paying for outings, and see how long he will be telling you 'Te Quero Mucho'.

btw every Cuban man tells a yuma that within days of meeting her:).

Dec 22, 2010
Rating

A Great Post Pilon
by: Claire

To the last poster Pilon I would say you are far more in touch with reality than the woman who has posted such an unrealistic and patronising account of her relationship with a Cuban man.

Her account is also less than honest.

She has not told us how much older than him she is. How she can afford to visit from the UK four times a year.
If he has children to maintain and how many.
She will end up maintaining them if they marry.

If he is paying for the expensive meals his cellphone bills, food and drink what an unrealistic way to start a relationship because he will expect this to continue for a lifetime and is this really what he wants? to maintain a man for life?.
Her tone is incredibly pompous, she seems to think we all met our Cuban men at resorts.

Well the majority have not.

I met mine in a small village a thousand mile from Varadero.
I was not aware he had two children by different women, a Cuban friend told me, he denied it.

For over two years he was emailing me and texting me telling me how much he adored me, that we were born for each other.

We lived like Cubans too, ate at his home and at local peso places. Spent nights chatting on the terrace.
That mean nothing.
They are all aiming for the prize in the end, which is marriage to a Yuma who will fly them out to a better life.

Her man is no different, despite the fact he tells her he
" never wants to leave his country"

(They All Say That).

For sure he is waiting for the day they marry and she provide him with a ticket and visa to Europe and a better life.
And if he is totally against that, it' because he has been there
before, tricked another woman, did not want to work, became abusive, and had to return home like so many lazy Cuban men who have had to return.

Dec 22, 2010
Rating

Real relationship in Cuba
by: Anonymous

Dear No Fool, I too thought I had a REAL RElationship in Cuba...dated the guy for 3 years...saw him at least 4-5 times a year. Thought I really knew the guy ...until he came to Canada and then wouldn't speak...nor give me a dime for bills. I really do LOVE the Cuban people ...but I have learned that most are liers and willing to do and say anything to get off of the island. Funny my husband ...or x also told me he didn't want to leave Cuba....but as soon as he got the ok ...he came. Within 3 months I had to ask him to leave due to him being an ASS...and guess what ...he is still here!!!!
I would have thought he would have gone home to his Mother and Son....but no.

I sure hope everything works out for you....but only 2% of these relationships "work out". I think it is bread into Cubans to not put their hearts fully into anything ...due to the disappointment they encounter all of the time.

Go to Cuba and have fun...spend lots of $$$$ to keep the island alive ...and leave.

Pilon

Dec 22, 2010
Rating

Wise Words Vic.
by: Kirty

Sound advice once again Vic.

This woman seems to be all tarry eyed about her relationship and acccuses others of being unrealistic for knowing someone for just two weeks.

But she met her man just a year ago and no doubt knew him for a couple of weeks then there were the emails and texts. All Cuban men email and text.

That does not tell anything about their lives. Their text and email read like a script...'Te Quiero mucho'Te Amo'.'Te Estranjar". etc.

No all liars and cheaters and con men work at resorts. I met mine in a small town hundreds of miles from any resort.

I would ask this woman who is picking up the tab in those fancy restaurants?. Who pay for the food the drinks when they cook at home?. Who paid for his cell phone and the minutes?. It costs at least 20 cuc a month to maintain a line or they cut it.

She should read another British woman's account of her marriage to a Cuban man, Ann or Annie I think he posts as. Her man never worked in the UK. He was a violent abusive thug who had no respect for her or their son.

She had to work to maintain the family.
He slept with other women he met in clubs. In the end she threw him out with the help of the police.

She should also read Daniella's account, also from the UK. Her Cuban romantic man turned in an abusive wife beating thug.

I would advise any women to take the time, I mean years to get to know a man, especially a Cuban man. And more importantly stop maintaining him and buying him stuff. Stop maintaining his family and paying for his cell phone.
Then see how long he sticks around.

Dec 21, 2010
Rating

Wealthy Old Broad Wake Up!!
by: Donna

You are unbelieveable!.
You ay you are, and I quote:

"writing this because I find so many of the stories on here either (a) totally against relationships, or (b) written by people who have spent 2 weeks In Cuba and are apparently "in love".

Who are you to judge anyone else you can only talk from your own experience.
You say that you are..

"writing this because I find so many of the stories on here either (a) totally against relationships, or (b) written by people who have spent 2 weeks In Cuba and are apparently "in love".

Hello!! You met the guy a year ago an have been back four times??
A wealthy old broad for sure.
So please do not patronise or denegrade those women on here who are unable to do the same.

They have to work for a living and do not earn it on their back!!.?
You met this man a year ago have been back 4 time and taken him out for fine dining...

"We do occasionally go out to expensive places - Capri, Dos Gardenias, Casa de la Musica "

How many women can afford to;...
A: Return to Cuba Four Times a Year?
B: Treat a Jinitero to 'Fine Dinning in Havana
at Capri Do Gardenas
Casa De La Musica?
(All on your tab:) You Silly Stupid Woman :)
C: How many decent women, I mean not female whore have
the funds to do so.
Or would want to? When they know
that treating a male whore this way is..
undignified and a
sure sign he is Male Whore|A Jinitero!!.
Using you.!
You Are Picking Up The Tab!!
Wake Up 'No Fool"

Because you are a fool, for sure.
I would not want to be you when you marry this Con Man /Male Whore/Jinitero and take on his ..
.....'Crazy Family'.
Most of us on here have wised up.
You clearly have not!.

Dec 21, 2010
Rating

You Are Living in Cloud Cuckoo Land!.
by: Reality Check!.

You paint a wonderful but unreal picture of your 'La La' land relationship.

You patronise women on here who write the truth and have posteded real life experiences.

Who do you work for for Crissake?

The Cuban Tourist Board or Cuba Si?
Cuban Government?
You wax lyrical about .....'Life Is Not A Vacation'!!
Well Hello??? Wake Up!!
We are totally aware of that.
How else could we afford to fly there? be ripped off by the con men that you are defending?
Cuba is not a cheap country! It' a rip to foreigners!.
We work.... Damn hard for our money and do not want to be scammed by a Cuban con man, hustler con man
Male Whore.Gigolo.
You talk a lot of Bull Shit!!.
I would say to you.
Stop sending money to your Cuban Gigolo/Jinitero/Hustler.
Stop believing in Fairytales.
Stop handing over Cellphones.
Stop wiring money to him.
And see how long your 'relationship' lasts.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How?
Simply click here to return to Love in Cuba

Real Relationship in Cuba

Comments by Vic Webmaster Havana-guide.com

Comments for Real Relationship in Cuba

Comments for
Real Relationship in Cuba