logo for havana-guide.com
leftimage-3col for havana-guide.com
 

scary stuff in Cuba

by fireball

OK, I know what everyone is going to say or think... I know that I deserve what I get... But here it is... this is my story....
I went to Cuba for a 3 month internship earlier this year. I'm married, have been for 4 years. Of course every marriage has difficulties, and mine, even before Cuba, were starting to become clear. Anyways. I am a 32 years old, but I look more like 20. I have been told many times that I am very attractive, and considering the type of attention I get, even at home, I've come to believe this :) Oh, and I am a lesbian.
Basically from the first day I was in Cuba (in a small agricultural town in central Cuba) I started to get attention from Cuban girls. There was no shortage of opportunities to be bad. But for a long time I was good. There was one girl, though, that I got along really well with and, because she worked where I was living, got to know quite well. Her name is Mari, she is 22 and she had a boyfriend, but even so, one night she confessed her attraction to me. I told her that I was attracted to her but that it was complicated (being married and all) trying to let her down easily. I guess she didn't get it though, and one night she kissed me. I had been in Cuba for some time now, was lonely and had a difficult marriage back home, and so I went for it. I kissed her back. We started carrying on behind her boyfriend?s back until one night the boyfriend came to the place that she worked, and I was living, and started accusing her of being unfaithful with another man. Maybe he had just caught on to our ?relationship? but at any rate, he started beating her up really bad right there, without discretion, right in front of me. I'm not sure if this is needless to say or not, but after a few punches and kicks I ran out to the security guard to get him to call the police. He couldn?t have cared less that a woman (who couldn't have been more than 5 foot tall) was being beaten up, and wouldn't call the police. So I went back into the residence and she was still being beaten up really bad and I started to confront the boyfriend. He told me to mind my own business and gave her a really hard kick to the stomach, and I lost it. I punched him out. Actually, I don't even remember punching him, I remember calking back, getting ready to punch him, I remember saying ?you son of a ---ch!? and then the next thing I remember is him punching me. Anyways, I know I punched him cuz I had his eye imprint on my fist for like, a week, and he had a big black eye?. So anyways back to the story. From that night on we were inseparable. And in love. Now, before anybody says anything, my wife came for a visit to Cuba and tried to get Mari to come back to our hotel room with both of us? my wife made it perfectly clear that she was attracted to Mari as well? but Mari didn't want that. According to her, she only wants me. You know, I read all this crazy stuff on this web site and can't help but wonder if my girl really loves me or if she is just looking for a way out. She's never asked me for anything, as a matter of fact, she used to take me out for pizza and buy it herself. I won't pretend like I didn't give her gifts or special treatment, I did. But she never asked me for anything. When I left, I gave her 200 CUC's, it was what was left over from the internship money and she kind of got mad at me for trying to give it to her. She looked hurt, and asked me if I was trying to pay for sex. Once I got it across to her that there is no way in hell I would ever pay for sex, and that I wanted her to have the money because she got fired from her job because of her stupid (EX-)boyfriend and because it is only her and her mom, she took it. I do send her small amounts of money from time to time. She's never asked me for it. I'm gonna try to get to the point now, because this is getting long. I don't expect her to be faithful, and I told her that, I mean, I'm 5000km away. She says that she is anyways, even though I don't expect it. I do want her to be honest though. But that, I guess I'll never know for sure. I get an email from her every morning. she gets up at 5.30 in the morning just to email me so that I have the email when I wake up. I'm still married, I'm trying to work out my differences with my wife. But I'm in love with Mari, and according to her, she's in love with me. What scares me is the sheer amount of people who say that all Cubans are liars, cheaters, and thiefs. Aie mi madre!! I guess I'll never know for sure? But I wish there was a way to find out.

Comments for scary stuff in Cuba

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 05, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Media service NEW
by: Kelly A. Rau

Cuba is nice or wonderful girl and advice to the people about the dating. Because she is expert of dating so she can aware or information about the dating place or how to date with the someone else. The Munchausen Schreiben also shows the types of dating and places which is suitable place or wonderful and as well to go to the beloved once to the date on the holidays and weekends.

Oct 15, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Education NEW
by: Anonymous

It seems like you had such a really bad and pathetic experience. Beating up the women so bad in this is really tragic. You are really crippled. Hope you get out of this problem. The thing is to try guru dissertation services, because in its legal and accidental problems are discussed in so much detail. You can get expert advises.

Jan 18, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
forget it, too much trouble NEW
by: fireball

Hello everybody,
just an update, I got tired of trying to figure out if it was worth it or not and decided to end that relationship. I'm now with a another woman (a Canadian) and very happy. We have been together for 1 year now and it feels great to trust someone and not have to worry about whether it's real or not. I have still been in contact with my ex-novia from time to time as there were no hard feelings on my side, I just couldn't do it anymore, you know? My advice to all those who take the chance with a Cuban and then spend all their time wondering, is forget it, it's too much trouble. Bottom line, whether or not they deserve it, it's just too hard to trust them when you can only go and visit from time to time. And of course the reverse would apply to me too. It would be silly to think that if her love was real that she wouldn't have had the same trust issues, but then it all comes back to the same point... it's not worth the stress, the suspicion, the fights. Take care everybody. Over and out.

Jan 18, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
A Great Post Why Give The Hustlers A 'Chance'? NEW
by: Anonymous

Wow - What a Post!I completely agree! Having grown up in a single parent household and worked from young age I think those Cubans have it all too easy.

They are cossetted and spoon fed by their mommas. This cosseting continues with their Cuban novias/wives who allow them the freedome to roam if they can con some naive yuma out of money, ot better still the jackpot that is a visa out, under the illusion that he 'loves' her.

Let's face it the Cuban is an expert in scamming conning and manipulation. He's educated for a start. He has had it easy all of his life. Housing handouts from the state, raciones free health care free education, sex from willing females who tend to become their mommas.

Women need yo be tougher with those con men who have had it too easy for decades.

Why do Cuban women allow these Macho b@stards get away with screwing around. Why do those flaky American women who marry them and live there with them put up with their screwing around, putting their health at risk?.

I have been reading posts on the 'Here is Havana' website and frankly it's enough to make you throw up. The woman is married to a Cuban 'machista' man who plays away and she accepts it, but clearly is not a happy woman. her blog which tens to border on sheer venom shows her to not be a happy bunny.

She has been married to a Cuban man for 13 years and writes almost admiringly of their promiscuous behaviour. How they like to 'sow their wild oats'. Their relaxes attitude to 'fu....ing around'.

I am stunned at how this yuma is allowing this macho pig to walk all over her and put up with it. She seems to be as another poster described - one of those 'Sick Bunnies' who have been raised i na dysfunctional family left home very early and who flock to Cuba as a means to solve their problems.

You see them sitting in the shade, the obese Canadians, 240 lbs waddling round the resort, usually having an affair with the (happily married) gardener or handyman who has no intention of emigrating and loves his Cuban wife and kids.

In the case of the blog writer she is the last person you would expect to put up with the macho behaviour that has driven her back home as a means to resolve her unhappy marriage, but like a glutton she is back for more punishment and a lot more 'compromise'.

She is the last person you'd expect to accept this b.s since she writes on Sexual health matters for a Cuban medical journal. So is all too aware of the consequences of promiscuity from a husband who plays away.

Yet she continues to idealize these 'Machista Cuban men' who splash cologne on their pingas before a night out alone (to cheat) , and shave their private parts.

Frankly such a male chauvinist pig needs his ass kicking and she needs to get the hell out of a clearly dysfunctional marriage.

I find her out of date Woodstock Hippy Chick way of thinking so archaic and not relevant to how intelligent women live their lives today.

Until women take a stand and walk away from selfish macho pigs who treat them like sh....t, nothing will change, whether they are Cuban Canadian or Chinese.

Women bring them into the world and only women can change the kind of disrepect and vile behaviour and they can only do this by having some self respect!.

Dec 27, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
'Give Them A Chance'? My Ass! No One Gave Me A Chance NEW
by: Anonymous

To the arrogant son of a bitch - 'defence time' I say to you why give hustlers and con men like you a chance?

No one gave me a chance. I grew up in a single parent family. I worked from the age of 12 to help support my mom and brothers and sisters.

At no time did I sponge once scam or screw my way to getting money like you do.


I got off my butt and worked. We all have to work.

In Canada there are no handouts to workshy skivers like you. You work for what you get. And you work hard.

We pay for everything, rent mortgage utility bills, gasoline, it is never ending.

You lazy Bas......rds get it all for free and you have the cheek to scam women on top of that.

You get free housing free health care, you get a guaranteed salary for doing sweet f...all.

You get raciones rent paid, college paid, you lazy Bast....rds get it all for free!.


What the hell do we get? Sweet fu.all. We work for everything we get and we do no f...over women or con them lie to them scam them into thinking we love then so as to extort money from them.

~get off your lazy butt you son of a bitch and how dare ask us to give lazy bas...ards like you 'a chance'

What 'chance' have you lazy sods given all the women you have conned into sham marriages. Bankrupted men and women with your lies and scams.

Transmitted STD's because Mr. Macho man is too arrogant to use a condom thinks he is Fred Flintstone who can do what the hell he likes.

Let me tell you amigo you are on your way to catching SIDA by your promiscuous way.

You are dicing with death.


To the women on here, give them a wide berth. They will give you nothing more than an STD and a big overdraft.


Leave them there. Let these lazy Bast....rds marry their own whores .

They deserve each other believe me!.


Sep 26, 2013
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Defence Time
by: CubanPerson


In Cuba if you do not have someone outside to give you money since in Cuba in some of the best jobs you get 20$ a month and a chiken leg costs like 3$ it is normal that people do anything to survive and feed their family. Do not think that Cubans are ¨dirty¨ people since the things taht are happening nowadays are only done by mostly inmature young generations that grew up in a cruel place where they are pretty much told YOU are not going to become anything worth in your life. Now think and stop blindly judging and spreading lies about the entire Cuban population because there are families that work hard to live in innocence. Also stop being so selfish and give them a hand. :D

Jan 25, 2013
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Hey everybody
by: Fireball

Hey everybody
I just wanted to update my story. Marianela and I have now been together for 2 years and we love each other very much. I am separated from my wife and she is seeing someone else and is also happy. Mari still never asks me for money, but I do send her some, and yes, i do know the terrible situation in Cuba (I've gotten to know Cuba well over the years) and so I know what a lifeline these small amounts of money are. I just got back from spending Christmas, new year, and our anniversary there with Mari and her family and we had a great time together (as always :). We have had a few bumps in the road in the past but over all things are working well. When I finish my studies I would like to sponsor Mari for immigration and bring her here.
I want to thank everyone for the advice that you have given me. And especially this last one by anonymous was honest and insightful. Thank you. You are right anonymous when you said that I needed to choose. That happens about 6 or 7 months ago now. I have also run into problems with what Mari considers "mentiritas" (little white lies). and I made it very clear that we need to be honest with each other because of the distance and everything. So, anyways, it's good to know that this is 'in their blood' and so I can expect it to continue LOLOLOL. Despite that, Mari is a wonderful person and we connect really well. Also, that Mari and I are exclusive now, that it was her decision to make it that way, and that we have been for a long time now.
I still get the emails every day, she is a very dedicated and loyal person. Anyways, thanks for taking interest.

Jan 25, 2013
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Cuba is a mess
by: Anonymous

As far as the money situation, if you knew the terrible situation in Cuba, you would not question the need for money over there. If you love this person, you would share with her - your money or whatever. But, first, you must do what is right and choose between one or the other.

As far as Cubans being liars, I have a long line of Cubans in my family history and, yes, they are all liars. It is in their blood. It does not keep them from feeling or caring about people though. So, if you love this girl first, do the right thing and break it off with your wife and be with her (you know for a fact that she e-mails you every morning-that is not a lie- so, you know she has feelings for you). Or, if you want to stay married, you must only be her friend and nothing else - and tell her that. Whether she is capable of lying to you or not, don't lie to yourself.

Jun 10, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Cuban Mirage Part 2
by: Anonymous

Re: gabe,
Ok here we go again!,what fireball or any one else does with their time and money and with whom is their personal business.
If you have read most of the post's on here you will see they are in negative mode due to the fact that these good hearted people,men and women,have been used ,abused,lied to,and cheated on by the person they claim to help and be in love with,and any money given to their Cubano goes to their puta's,or chulo's and their many illigitimate kid's.
I lived in Cuba for a few year's and I know the nature of the local's there,98% of any long distant relationship's end's in disaster-and in Cuba this is the norm.
Anyone posting their heartbreak on this site should be a warning of what could happen to a person involved in this kind of relationship.
What the person does or does not do with this information is obviously their personal affair.
So once again-Live,Love,and Leave them where they belong,for it truly is an impossible dream!

Jun 09, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
A Cuban Mirage**
by: Anonymous

Re: gabe!
You can find love in Cuba or any where else in the world if you so desire,if you find this "love" feel free to love and love again .
Express your love with some of the most beautiful men in the world.
Enjoy their warm kisses,their tight hug's,their sensuous erotic love making and grab this moment with all your being.
But if you think the Cubano care's or love's you,forget it.
For in the end you will know it's only a mirage a dream,and this dream could turn into a nightmare,if you think it's real and fall for this adventure by making it part of your life.
Live it,Love it,and Leave it behind where it belong's.

May 29, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Anonymous????????????
by: Dyalin-Miami

There are so many Anonymous on this thread that it's hard to tell which one is which!!!!!!!
Well be informed that my name is spelled Dyalin-not "Dalalyn".
Second of all I read most of Anonymous post's and found out that your behaviour in Cuba has caused all of you to be branded "Loser's" by all who know you, the Cubano's, and people posting on this thread.
Only a brainless 'Tithead" would Marry,send money,or fall in love with a total stranger,just because she is desperate to have a man beside her-any man.
As for Yasmila,I have read some of her post's,I do not agree with everything she say's,but she is more informative and tell's it like it is-
We do not have to agree with anyone on this thread,but we are all entitled to our opinion.

May 29, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
...who's Yasmila??
by: fireball

hahahah, not sure whats going on with those last two comments.... lol. i would like to say, in reference to the 'you are sensible' comment; you have given me some wise advice in "do not destroy it by being too generous with meals out gifts etc". there is a tendency to want to spoil them because even little things that we take for granted (the box of granola bars that i brought down with me, the glass jar that my instant coffee came in, the coffee in that same jar that fell on the floor and broke which someone sifted and drank...)are coveted. especially because this town was rural, small, and not at all a tourist destination and so none of those kinds of things filter down there. "do you want a jelly bean?" "what is it?" :) i think i'll just go along the way i have, cautious but not convicting her of things that others have done.
thanks

May 28, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
You Are Sensible
by: Anonymous

Fireball from your reply here I can see you are a sensible woman with a sound head on your shoulders. You are realistic about life and relationships and would not suffer fools gladly.

Marie also sounds like an intelligent woman. Perhaps you have met a soul mate. Mabye many of us have but did not realise and were so blinded by the thought ''Oh he's out to use me" that we did not give the relationship a chance.

After all their reality is polar opposite to ours, theii value system so different because of a lifetime of only knowing the Comunnist system which has to influence their mindset and how they deal with relationships.

Go back give the relationship a chance, do not destroy it by being too generous with meals out gifts etc. Give her a chance to show she really cares, that is all you can do.


May 27, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
thanks for the insight.
by: fireball

this is gonna be a general response to all the comments. first of all, thank you for all your advise. i've been considering all those things ever since i got back from Cuba 4 months ago. some days i feel skeptical, some days i feel hopeful. to answer one question: no, she's never asked me for any money. she's never even hinted that she needs any. the small amount of money that i have sent her is so she can email me because she has to go to etecsa to email and that is expensive for a Cuban, but that was my choice. and the money lasts months, so she is being smart with the money. she also had some pictures taken and sent them to me. the only thing she has ever asked me for is, a while back i bought a book by her favourite author and, even though i speak spanish, it is Cuban literature and is too advanced for me. she asked me if she can have that book seeing as she doesn't have a copy of it. i thought that was reasonable... i've thought of going on a surprise visit but decided against it because, and i want to make this clear, i dont expect her to be faithful. it's unrealistic, and unfair considering my marital status, and i wouldn't expect her to tell me if she is sleeping with someone else. so, just showing up at her door could lead to an awkward situation... i guess i also want to say that i disagree... there is no happily ever after, even solid relationships have difficulties, and quite frankly, love is not enough. i wouldn't leave my wife if she slipped... a marriage is work. i dont think 'if only i was married to Mari life would be perfect'. thats just non-sense...
...anyways, i miss Mari alot, i love her alot, i hope she loves me, i have a feeling she does (but then i'm sure all the people that went through those nightmares also thought they were being loved..) and i wanted to share our story, so.... thanks for reading :)
ps: any comments or insight are welcome.

May 27, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
You Doubt Her But What About You?
by: Anonymous

First of all not all Cubans are the same. You may have read the horror stories on here but why should you be the one to doubt her when you are the one who cheated on your wife.

She could easily have as many doubts about you. A woman who cheats on he partner is like to do the same again.

You say your relationship was not the best and was floundering before the trip to Cuba.

Personally I think that you cannot break up a relationship that is solid, if it's on shaky ground already then that is different.

Only you know at the end of the day the feelings you have for Maria and if those feelings are strong enough to pursue it further.

You obviously have feelings for her. Why not return for a holiday and get to know her better.

Test her as Viic says, a Cuban who truly loves you will not be asking you for gifts or money or dropping hints about moving to your country.

Play it by ear, take your time and get to know her better.

Do not rush into something you may later regret.


Click here to add your own comments

Return to Love in Cuba .


footer for Havana-guide page