The Biggest Rogue In Cuba
We met on Couch Surfing a global website where like cash strapped students like me can find a couch anywhere in the world.
I was not aware Rodolfo's page was run by a chubby little woman from Essen Germany who fancied him rotten and had a face like Ms Piggy from the Muppet Show.
Rodolfo was a fake, but an extremely educated articulate fake who had a way with words.
But his bright smile and perfect white teeth could charm the birds from the trees or sell snow to Alaska.
Boy did he have a way with words. He never stopped. From day one i was bombarded with emails. I felt swamped,asphyxiated, suffocated.
His words were sickly sweet and so fake.
"Thank You For Existing'
"Thank You For Being In My World'.
was a typical phrase.
Pass the Sick Bag pleeeeze!!.
Castro was paying this loafer to write such B.S. Picking up the tab for Rodolfo to idle his days away online, in his quest to lampoon a Yuma to fly him to a better life. Though life in Havana was not too bad for this loafer.
Perhaps Castro was in on the scam and wanted this loser out, to offload him to some hapless Yuma.
Rodolfo worked for some kind of cultural department in Havana and spent his days and nights online. The man was glued to the computer.
This cheesy charmer with the biggest grin had profiles on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and just about every goddam social website that could help him snare, charm some gullible Yuma into flying his lazy ass out to a better life.
Is it any wonder that Raul Castro made the wise decision earlier this year to offload 1 million loafers like Rodolfo from his cash strapped payroll.
I fail to see what work if any Rodolfo ever did, so busy was he charming women online all day.
He was very elaborate with the truth.
His threadbare couch existed for sure. But he failed to admit it was a 20 mile cab ride from central Havana, and this to-ing and fro-ing cost me way more than a casa particular in the centre would have cost.
Rodlfo was big on 'culture' and nightlife, he high fived every loser in Havana Veija and the Malecon and wanted to cruise all of the nightspots, at guess who's expense?.
He was also always very very hungry, so guess who ended up having to fork out for dinner for him, his elderly mother and 13 year old daughter?.
I drew the line at buying dinner for his 'Sister' though who was a dead ringer for their daughter. She was fooling no one. I may be naive, but not that naive.
My visit to Cuba did not get off to a great start when on the first night he was arrested for being a 'Jinitero'.
Hardly a barrel of laughs having to bail out a hustler loser from a jail on your first night in Cuba.
By now I was beginning to despise the very sight of this charmer by the minute and thinking '...Thank You Raul' for wising up and offloading such losers who sit on their fat butt all day surfing the net on social websites or the lazy ass receptons that man every desk n every hotel in Cuba checking their bouffants, blue eye shadow and filing their nails.
I reported Rodolfo to Couch Surfing and it took quite a few emails to their laid back hippy culture at their admin to convince them this guy really was a fake, and that his page was being operated from Germany.
Other C.Surfers who had been hosted by him then sent me testimonials, reality stories of similar experiences to mine, long cab rides, arrests, etc, before they finally removed his fake profile.
Ms Piggy in Essen Germany was furious with me, and bombarded me with angry emails.
I had dashed her hopes of some naive C. Surfer helping to reunite her with her Latin charmer.
Perhaps I had done her a massive favour. This playboy would have done a Houdini vanishing act from Germany from Ms Piggy within a week.
I blocked Ms Piggy and her loser and vowed to be more aware and learn to read between the lines next time.
All those glowing complimentary 'reviews' on websites like Couch Surfing are written out of politeness. Not wanting to be negative, it's easier to be 'nice'.
The reality is almost always very different as I discovered.