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The Man of My Dreams is a Habanero

by Jim
(Boston, MA, USA)

We met on a dating site.
I saw his picture and thought he was adorable and I asked him about places to go and he told me to be careful when I was in Havana. We talked about art and culture across the Internet and before I knew it we were trading pictures of paintings. we agreed that it would be fun to go to some art galleries together and meet some artists. We set up a time and a place to meet in the lobby of my hotel.

We had talked about a lot more than paintings by the time I got to Havana and I was so excited because the conversation was so easy and enjoyable and his pictures were handsome, sexy, sophisticated and I felt attarction for him and my research trip took on new meaning. We spoke on the phone from USA to Havana and I was in love with his voice andattarcted to his personality. This man is not only smart, but he is one Communist hunk and I can get my thoughts off his body.


Well, the day comes and it is full of sexual energy and tension of the best sort. I come down the elevator and there he is, I see him right away, before I even open the door I see him through the window with the most wonderful handsome tall smile. He is gorgeous. I mean, drop-dead gorgeous.


We head over to his place in Havana Vieja and it is so cute and full of nice paintings. Before we head for dinner he tells me will take a shower and I sit outside on the terrace. I hear the water running and wish I was with him. I am sitting there and he opens the window and invites me to join him. I jump up and say I'll be right there. I open the door of the baƱo and there is he in all his manliness. In no time I am in the shower with him and he is washing me all over and me him with the window open and the Havana moon. I loved him from the elevator and 45 days later I love him even more. We write every day. We talk about the times we spent together and I tell him I cannot live without him now, that he is the man I have always been searching for and the man I want to be like.

We begin to plan a future together.
This is true love. Havana love. There is nothing plastic, or drunken about it, but the real thing. We cannot get our minds off of one another. I will see him next month. I want to be married to him. I tell him that where I live 2 men can be married and he is shy and not sure, but I am not. This man is solid humanness. He has a heart of gold, he knows how to love kindly and deeply, he kisses me and I melt, he touches me and I fall into his heart.
I touch him and his voice gets soft. I tell him I love him and he tells me no one has ever told him that and he has no one in his life so dedicated to me.

It's possible. We spent hours and hours exploring each others minds. This man is perfect for me. Our sex is wonderful. I have never reached climax like the ones he has brought me to over and over again. Good luck, but be careful. There is gold there in Havana. Go to the museums and look for the smart ones.

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Oct 23, 2015
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Education NEW
by: Zac Lyon

Hey! Jim hope you are doing great. Your love and love story seems to be a really wonderful and amazing love. Love which everyone wants. Hope you find him in all your best interest. You know in assignment writing agencies, autobiography is a big upcoming topic of discussion. In which people share their experience all good and bad and these are discussed in detail.

Dec 12, 2011
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typical of any 3rd world country
by: vp

This kind of "business" practice is typical of any 3rd world country & is not unique to Cuba. Mexico has the same style & both men & women will try to get whatever money you have as a tourist under the guise of "friendship or lover". these sorts flock to tourist zones. can you blame them with the low wages & living conditions? if you go with this in mind & simply want a fling with a hot latin, then you won't be dissapointed when you find out they have wife\husband n kids to support. girls bring your own condoms if you must delve into the sexual fire that is being with a foreign man!!!
i see arguments on both sides getting angry with the others side. see it for what it is, sex for money, even if its just buying dinner for the entire time you are there, it is what it is. the stories of violence are indeed valid in my personal experience, (which i won't comment on here), as they are in any country. i live in canada & the vast majority of police activity in urban & suburban neighborhoods is responding to domestic violence. first signs of angry violence or jealousy & I say run run run for your life, in any language, get out! use your head & observe from your gut!!
sign me, i've been a fool more than once too...

Apr 09, 2011
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Karla A I nearly fell for the charm. Was nearly a victim.
by: Anonymous

I met him on the Couch Surfing site. He was tall handsome extremely educated, articulate.

Rodolfo could charm the birds from the trees with his bright smile and words. Boy did he have a way with words.

He worked in 'Cultura' in Havana, and seemed too good to be true. He bombarded me with emails. I began to feel suffocated.

like he was a Vampire sucking my time, my life away. I found some of his quotes such as...

'Thank You For Existing'

Pass the sickbag pleeeze.



Like treacle his sugary words left me with heartburn. Indigestion. Nausea.

Being a student on limited income I accepted his offer of a 'Couch in Central Havana'. Talk about porkie pies.

Rodolfo failed to reveal that he lived 20 kilomoteres froom the centre of Havana and a cab there cost me more than staying at a casa particular.

He kept whinging about how hard it was to survive.

So I ended up buying dinner every night for him, his mother and 12 year old daughter. I drew the line at feeding the 'sister' who I knew was his g/friend, she was a mirrror image of their daughter.

I am a student for God's sake who works two jobs to pay her way through College and he's poncing off me?.

The next bombshell was his arrest by the police for being a 'Jnitero'. I guess anyoone found walking with a foreigner is classified a 'Jinitero'.


I had not bargained for spending a night in a police cell having to bail this loser out.

Take a word of advice from me. Do not be taken in by the sugary sweet words of love. The more educated they are the more devious the more dangerous and manipulative they are. They know how to smooth talk you, and they have access to the internet all day.

Little wonder Raul Castro laid off 1 million Loafers like Rodolfo. Lazy workshy educated loafers

The guy does not know the meaning of an honest day's work.

Rodolfo was on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and Couch surfing all day and all night at the expense of the Min for Culture, scouring the net for potential female victims, willing to feed him and his extended family and fly him out to a better life so he could maintain his family.

In the end I had to block Rodolfo. I began to dread opening my inbox and seeing the name 'Rodolofo'.

It began to turn my stomach.

How lucky I was to see through the B.S.

Ladies the educated articulate ones are way more dangerous than the dreadlocked hustler from the Malecon or a Santiago nightclub.






Feb 22, 2011
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Be Wary 'Hot Sex' Can Turn Cold When Reality Kicks In!
by: Gabrielle

Jim be very careful.

You say your man was married before and has children.

So I take it he is or was straight, but has suddenly turned Bi?. As Karla said..'Cuban men can be very devious'. She's right.

It seems they're now swinging both way when a fast buck is to be made.

I did not have 'hot sex' when I met my ex. He was charming, sweet, and yes he mimicked my emotions, made me feel he was the man for me. Told me he loved me over and over in emails and in phone calls.

My feelings were based on emotions not sex. They know how to work and manipulate emotions.

They can read you, play you, they're all highly educated. They will tell you what they think you want to hear.

When I returned he showed his true nature. He was always whining, spinning a sob story, how much he and his family needed this or that. How he wanted a cellphone for 'greater communication'.

He was like a different man, had he met someone in the 18 months which we were apart?. How could he afford that England football shirt, those expensive Havania flip flops?.

You watch for those subtle but important hints and the shallowness sneaks through. You begin to see the light.

For your sanity, your peace of mind have him checked out.

Not just at the sexual health clinic but also by the local police computer.

Find someone who has a friend with access to their computers. A Cuban will sell you any kind of information for a small 'regalo'.

Have a friend video him on his nights out, captured on his cellphone.

Those cellphone pictures will tell you more than a hundred 'Te Quero Mucho, Te Estranjar; email scripts believe me.

Sunlight is after all, the best disinfectant.



Feb 20, 2011
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Havana Cuba !
by: Karla A

Hello again Jim,You sound like a very likeable,good hearted person,who not only enjoy's a quality of life,but want's to share it with a loving partner.
I too am the same as you ,I guess we all are,but beware,I too met his two former x's and his two kid's.
He say's they are now in different relationship's,but he is alway's in contact with them,and they alway's call him for help and for child support,plus his immediate family rely on him for daily food etc.leaving little quality time for any kind of relationship.
All i'm saying here is be vigilant, they will mimic your personality to appease you and make you believe you all have something in common,but Cubano's are very devious and work to-gether along with their x's to get and use a good hearted person like your self what they need to survive,it is all a matter of daily survival for them-there is no genuine love there--but enjoy your moment of passion,for it will be short lived,they say enjoy your fantasy in Cuba,and then leave them there,for they will break your heart.
I just came back from a month long visit,I stayed with my extended family there and they treated me with respect,but as for my relationship with my man,it fizziled out when he started making unreasonable demand's-we still e-mail and I do miss him a lot,and I pray that divine intervention will help him see how much I could help him in a more positve way-but action's speak louder then word's and his action's were not acceptable to me.
Jim I truly wish you the best,because 2% of relationship's really do work out,so keep in touch.
I am rooting for you my friend--Hasta Luego Mi Amigo!

Feb 20, 2011
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I appreciate the heads up and sharing
by: Jim

Thanks again for your advice and sharing the wisdom of your experience. I am traveling to Havana again in March and cannot but have you in my mind. My boyfriend maybe not totally typical because he has a job where he had to travel for 15 years, I met his x-wife and her new husband, he has a moral constitution and philosophy that resembles mine and he is not only handsome, but he is very smart, funny, caring, and industrious and has plans of his own. He also has some money and some real estate. But all of this said, I realize that Cuba is not a place most people want to stay tied into because of the lack of freedoms, that Cubans have to lie to everyone around them to survive and it becomes a way of life, and that depravation can trigger not the best in us humans. In some ways, albeit it has some unique peculiarities, its not unlike all relationships and the need to self protect, establish boundaries, and make sure ones own needs are being met and that the relationship is not out of balance. It is all tricky business, but your headsup, on watching for the need and asking for your resources, even beyond means, is great advice and warning that I am most appreciative of. Hopefully some day in the not too distant future, we can all visit a Havana that is free, returning to glory, full of charm without returning to the excesses and discriminations and greed that preferred the revolution, viva Cuba! Best wishes.

Feb 19, 2011
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We Don't Know !
by: Karla A

Hi Jim,the problem is that we don't know what is real or what is fantasy.
The problem is we confuse "Hot Sex" with love,and that is our down fall.
I tried to find a life time partner in my situation and did my upmost to believe it was real,but it was not.
In the end he made it clear there was no sincere emotion just a trial period on his behalf to get what he wanted.
These Cuban's and other devious people are very convincing in their action's.
I hope your safe and smart,and not get taken to the cleaner's like most men and women have.
But observe him,once the" Hot Sex" fizzle's out and believe me it will,you will see the light of day,and hopefully save yourself.
After a while it actually get's boring because if he does not get what he want's from you,his whole being will start to get cold and unatentive to you.
If he makes you pay for everything and cries poverty WATCH OUT!
But all in all give it a shot,and as they say "keep one eye open at all time's".
Because in the end we really don't know-Good Luck
And for your information Cuban's are known for having and living with multiple partner's-so use protection please!

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