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true love or fake love in Cuba

by Jamiela
(Canada)

I went to Cuba in April met a cuban on the resort I was staying at. We talked daily, even when he was not working. He never told me that he loved me right off the bat, just said that I am an amazing woman. We have kept in touch since I returned back to Canada. Has now said the "i love you" a month later. He has not asked me for anything. Even when I was there he didn't let me pay for anything for him, he didn't even like me paying for anything myself. I'm returning to Cuba in July (not just for him) and wants me to meet his family. He is telling me just to come down and pay for my trip and not to worry about anything else while i'm here. I keep hearing about all these scams and now I don't know if he's being honest or fake. My heart is telling me one thing but everyone is telling me some thing else.
COMMENTS PLEASE!!!!!!

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Feb 02, 2012
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I'm the Jul 6 poster
by: Anonymous


Dec 13, you've got a lot going for you: 1) true love, or 2) true fling... you choose. you can spend all the money in the account trying to figure out the Cuban way of life for those graduated in music, dance, and tourism just to see if your man is true, or you can spend all the time and energy back on yourself and love who you are and who you aren't. Your man having been hot and cold in the beginning is normal, and frustrating, as it is like that all over the world when there is potential to be intimate with someone. Starting a long distance relationship is normal too. If your man has many contacts in Canada and maybe a small fling with a couple, then, yeah, that is normal! You'll start discovering what you're comfortable with. Maybe you'll look for someone new where you live. True love is a beautiful thing. Counting on a best friend is awesome!! Being able to vent about money, parents, and politics with someone you love is fun sometimes! Keep that in mind when you get to know your man. Being grounded this way might be a little boring, but at least you won't have to convince yourself that you're in love when maybe you aren't, and two years from now when you're engaged to him you won't be questioning whether this is it and if you're in love for all the right reasons. There should never be REASONS that drive you to do something, because REASONS always change.

My story started out just like yours, and unfortunately it wasn't a smooth road. We got married, and it has since felt like a new relationship but with the perk of knowing who he is and what he is about. I can say the same for me, that I know who I am a lot better than I did before. Being a dreamer is just the beginning!!!

Jan 23, 2012
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For 'not sure what to do' Dec 13th
by: Anonymous


Do what your heart tells you to do but don't ignore what your head is telling you. Just keep your eyes and ears open. Your texts are not replied to and the excuse will be no credit in the phone followed by can you recharge it on the interentet.

What you described in your post was almost as if I wrote the story as it is the same story all over again. I did go back to see him and I had a great time and yes I did spend a lot of money but I always knew that there was a possibility that he was playing me. I've been going to Cuba since 1998 every year 3-4 times a year and know how it works. I'm not saying that all Cubans are the same but the majority of those that work at the hotels are. So, I followed my instict and never gave away my heart completely and sure enough I caught him in a scam. I truly cannot believe that a human being can do such a thing. Not only that he was seeing someone else, more like 5-6 someone elses from all over the world. So what I would suggest you do is move on with your life where it is now (not in Cuba), only go back if you are desparate for vacation and have no one to go with in which case you should contact him to keep you company. If you pursue a relationship with him it's likely he end up using you for your money and things so why not turn the things around a little and use him for your own fun. And whatever you decide do not send him any more things, chances are he is getting stuff from other's as well. Do not invest in this unless you are 100% sure. I understand that living in Cuba is difficult for Cubans but the people that work at the hotels especially in Varadero have way more than the people that are not employed in turism. Good luck!

Jan 22, 2012
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Alive for the first time <3
by: Anonymous


Okay so most of you woman are extremely judgmental and ignorant. First of all DONT say that all Cubans are con artists or that all they want is to is use people, because that's totally disrespectful and arrogant. (both my parents are Cuban) but if any of you lady's met my father you would adore him, he is the most HARDWORKING,GENEROUS, AND TRUSTWORTHY man you could even hope to meet in your life.! If you stopped being such a typical tourist, you should go to places in Cuba where most tourists don't go like for instance the naborhoods in Camaguey? (that's where I go when we visit Cuba , and stay at our families house) I think the only time I actually felt ALIVE was the second I steped in Cuba. I absolutely love that country and if I weren't 14 I wish I could live there. You just can't compare America and Cuba because they are just two different worlds.

Dec 13, 2011
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Not sure what to do
by: Anonymous

I just returned home from Cuba three days ago. There, I became close with an animator at my resort. I knew he was into me in the beginning, but I didn't make much of it. In fact, he was pissing me off with his hot & cold games (one minute, very hot, the next, very cold as though I don't exist). One night, of course nowhere, he came to sit next to me during a show, and told me how he feels about me. He thinks I'm special, I'm different, I'm smart. He asked if I would like to talk to him more, to get to know him, to visit him more, to possibly build a relationship together. He said that I was someone he could see himself loving. And he apologized for seeming "shy" - he said he didn't want to scare me off, and he didn't want to compromise his job either by getting cozy with a tourist. So that night, I'll admit, my heart melted. We kissed and eventually became sexual together, but I put a lot of restrictions on what we could do because I didn't want to leave there hurt. I wanted to protect myself, at least somewhat. He seemed understanding of the situation though, because he realized that I don't actually know him. We exchanged contact information, and on the last day, he walked me all the way to the bus and waited until I left. Now that I'm back home, I suddenly feel this overwhelming desperation for him. I feel like I love him. I knew I liked him there, but I didn't realize how open my heart was to him. I'm not sure what to do. I think I did my part in trying to initiate contact. I sent him text messages... None of which have been replied to. And I sent him a letter with copies of pictures - which I told him I would do. I don't want to overdo it though. But I feel like I'm endlessly waiting for a message from him. It's painful.

After reading the posts here, I'm wondering if I am falling for a fantasy. In many ways, I think I am hurting myself by thinking about him and hoping for any kind of relationship with him. Even a fling, that involves emotions (as it already does), would be hurtful in the end, especially to me. I'm thinking about going back, very soon. I'm wondering if that will be a mistake... I'm wondering if I should let this cool down and see what happens, or if I should follow what my irrational heart is telling me to do.

He told me that he has lots of friends in Canada that send him letters and things, so he has plenty of foreign contacts. In a way, I'm another one to add to the list - and maybe he's had small relationships with some of those women as well. I dont know. I'm not sure what to do. I can't stop thinking about him.

Jul 06, 2011
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Agree w. jan 28 comment
by: Anonymous

You guys have to look compatible, even to the most judgemental and critical public.....They know how good they look even if their own looks are questionable. b/c of the vanity in cuba most men & women make sure their underwear matches their shoes-can you imagine how they prefer their partners-and i'm adding the 's' on purpose, they do have multiple partners even if they are the type that prefers 1! It just happens, they become a victim of their own game and end up with more than one partner- unless you keep them really focused that you will get them out of the country. They need lots of assurance as to what your intentions are with them.....

Apr 29, 2010
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Yes It is a Heartbreaking Story.
by: Alexis

I agree Miss Miss it is heartbreaking, but it is all too common in the Dominican Republic.

As we can see from this thread, there is Danielle's sad story, a lovely Canadian lady who was assaulted in Bayahibe, then the news report of the lady who was murdered and the latest report of Karen who was drugged raped and robbed.

What is disgusting is that the holiday companies hide these facts. They do not disclose the fact that outside of the All Inclusive Hotels the D.R. is one of the most dangerous countries on the planet apart from Haiti.

Drug smuggling, rape, and murder are rife.The mafia are heavily involved in all this rotten stuff. And the corrupt D.R. Government looks the the way.

Which is why I have said before that Cuba is a shining light of morality by comparison. Sure those idiots play naive women for a passport out of poverty, but they are not likely to rob rape or murder her as they will in the scumbag island of the Dominican Republic.






Apr 28, 2010
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For the Karen in the report
by: MissMiss

I feel your pain, I went through something similar in another city where I live, and truthfully, ran away after the fact before i considered calling the cops. even arriving home i finally called the cops and nothing could be done, different jurisdiction, different sets of rules... the other city protecting their own! I've always travelled on my own, and still do with a higher degree of caution or level of morale than at home because what happens in another place, although it stays in another place, remains in your heart and soul forever. Frankly thanks to this DR report I can say I would not DARE attempt the same 'blend in with the locals' as I could in Cuba, and even in Cuba it seems 'dangerous' to do so, because look, the locals are 'scared' to hang out with you, right? So then you befriend some and they say, 'meet me at so & so place, bar, corner, certain time, I pick you up' whatever, and then they take you to another town/city where who knows what is going on. I heard that there ARE bars in other cities besides touristy ones that are ROUGH among the cubans. MANY a cuban will not want a foreigner with them, double trouble with gossip and word getting to authorities. I guess the good thing for a tourist on an AI trip is that they are EXPECTED to return. But a tourist with an open ticket, and only booking themselves at casa particulares from town to town is then open to a different type of vulnerability.

Apr 28, 2010
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Another Rape and Assult in Dominican Republic.
by: Donna

Mexican vacation a nightmare

TORONTO ? Karen finally woke up naked and drugged in a strange room in the Dominican Republic, with three of her kidnappers asleep nearby.

She ran for her life.

The 38-year-old Mississauga waitress was kidnapped from a bar in Puerto Plata, drugged, robbed and raped on her last night.

?I don?t want anybody to go through what I went through,? says Karen, explaining why she is coming forward. ?People need to be told.?

She has just come from her appointment at Trillium Health Centre where she sees a sexual assault counsellor at least once a week since returning traumatized last month from her holiday. She is also on antiretroviral medication until bloodwork can confirm whether she contracted HIV or not from her attackers.

?I?m just really lucky to be alive,?.
On the last night of their trip, Karen and a male friend went to a local bar.
She?d gone to the bar?s small washroom, she says, when suddenly about eight local men pushed their way in.
?One of them stuck me with a needle in my right arm,? She says they dragged her out through a back door and put her on a motorcycle between two of the men.
That?s the last thing she remembers.
She woke up groggy in a bed without her clothes on, her arms bruised and a chunk of her hair cut from the back of her head. Her cheap jewelry was gone as was $100 US and the digital camera she?d had on her belt.
She ran screaming down the road until she hitched a ride with a local man who took her to a police station.
Karen left the country without filing a police report just hours until her flight and she was so anxious to get home that she refused to wait for an English-speaking officer to take her statement.
"I've travelled around the world by myself and I?ve been to Third World countries,? she says. ?I was naive to go without researching anything. Most people just think holiday and fun in the sun.?
While there is no official warning against travelling to the Dominican, the Canadian government does advise tourists to ?exercise a high degree of caution, due to a high crime rate.?
Last New Year?s Eve, a Quebec man was murdered in his hotel room during a robbery.
The Canadian website goes on to warn that crime in the Caribbean country has increased and that single women should be especially careful. Incidents of assault, rape and sexual aggression against foreigners have been reported, including at beach resorts,? it says. ?There have been reports of females being victimized with ?date rape? drugs?
Those are clear cautions, but Karen believes travel agents also have a responsibility to warn their customers. They need to tell people,she insists. You can't pretend it's Walt Disney World there. It is not. They should be telling people it is dangerous to leave the resort. I didn't know any better.


Apr 22, 2010
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Ladies Avoid the Dominican Republic It's Dangerous!
by: Donna from Toronto

I would never return to the Dominican Republic. There are rapes and assault all the time.
The men are violent and all they want is money, sex and alcohol. Women are assaulted raped all the time there.
Here is yet another report this week from my local paper.
It's a horrific account of a murder of a Canadian woman in the D.R.

Canadian woman stabbed to death in Dominican Republic:

Cuba may have it's faults and it's conmen, but at least you are not likely to be raped or murdered.

Ladies avoid the D.R. It is Dangerous!!.
MONTREAL - A Quebec woman was found murdered in the bathroom of her Dominican Republic ranch Thursday, according to published reports. Louise Gaudreault, originally from Lac Saint-Jean was stabbed in the neck and chest with a pair of scissors, wrote the Dominican newspaper Nuevo Eldiario.


The 54-year-old woman had been living in the Dominican Republic for the past 25 years. Her 25-year-old son, who still lives in the Dominican Republic, was in Quebec on vacation at the time....

 


Apr 20, 2010
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If Only the D.R. Could follow Cuba As A Role Model
by: Alexis

Corruption, money laundering, prositution, drugs running, rape and assault are all symptoms of a sick society.

There is of course no excuse for such crimes, but you woder if there were a fair system in place. If the corrupt government were less greedy and provided free education and health care, would the D.R. society be quite so rotten?.

Jails here are packed to capacity, bursting at the seams. 20,000 in 40 prisons, accused of drug trafficking, murder, rape, money laundering , assault and other crimes.

In addition to the 20 thousand adult inmates, there are 500 juveniles in conflict with the law, and. l, 200 are imprisoned overseas.

What if instead of the rotten corrupt President Castro ruled the D.R and education and healthcare were free.

What a difference the crime ridden society would be.


Apr 17, 2010
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There's A Lot To Be Said For Cuba's Education System
by: Michele

I am grateful for the useful information posted here by Alexis.

From reading of this horrific account of men's vile attitude to women in the Dominican Republic I can only say Thank God for Cuba's education and healthcare system.

Sure there are Cuban scammers who will con a woman into think they love her and lead her on a wild goose chase that leads to financial bankruptcy. those con men are destroying lives in their selfish attempt to escape Cuba.

However one thing is for sure, though their lies will lead to heartache and financial ruin at least they are not likely to rape a woman, or be violent towards a woman.

And if a woman is forced in sex in Cuba she can rest assured she will not be likely to have Aids or a Sexually Transmitted Infection as a result, as it would seem she would in the Dominican Republic which sounds like a backward and criminally corrupt country.

That is the great aspect of Cuban's socialism. The men can be the greatest liars and most charming tricksters and con artists in the world but they will not attack a woman physically or force themselves on her.

Nor are they likely to rape her. they know the consequences of their tough police laws.

For that reason Cuba is a safe place for women. All she has to do is retain a sense of logic and not believe the nonsense scripts they spin. The 'Te Quero' b.s. on the first night and the endless emails declaring undying love.

Funny really! t

They are con men but clown also who seem to think below the wiast. They think that if they bed a woman she is their property and will spend a fortune on flying them out.

Dream On!!

Cuban men are ridiulous, childish even in thinking that any intelligent woman could fall for their nonsense.

It's laughable.

Sad though that so many women do fall for it as reading through these pages can attest.



Apr 16, 2010
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Violence Against Women Is Never Right!.
by: Alexis

it's always wrong. But to be honest Danielle had been warned by my female colleagues about the dangers of Bayahibe, and the risk of being alone with some of the guys there.

They are uneducated, illiterate, coming from a poor background. There's a desperation about them, especially the Haitians who have to contend with discrimination.

I would never want my sister to visit the D.R. Not in a milliion years. I think Danielle was too trusting and also naive. A pretrty girl, little overweight and perhaps with low self esteem. It seems her father is a military policeman, and who knows if he was a bully. Bullies then to create rebels who take risks.

Danielle took a risk too many. But she did report the guy and I am happy to say he's now behind bars.

Apr 16, 2010
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Violent
by: MissMiss

That is the awful thing about violent men because even a silly comment like my previous (gonna cost you) could cost me back, and ya, rape like that happens all the time! in fact, you can be on a weekend trip anywhere in the world, your country or next city and too much of the male population (and female) would accuse the woman of putting herself in that situation. So its unfortunate that in our eyes, not only did Danielle put herself in that situation, but most men (desperate in this situation of power and control) will not step back and control himself. I really do wish for a speed healing on the part of Danielle, and that in all areas of her life she be surrounded by much better company especially back home in canada. In general, women are very emotional and intuitive, smart etc, and we have layers of emotional baggage, and its sometimes No Use competing with the physical and psychological ways of men.

Apr 16, 2010
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You're Right Miss Miss
by: Alexis

It is always best to listen to your gut instinct. Remember those guys are surviging on their wits.

The hustling here in the D.R. is much more brutal than in Cuba. Here they have no respect for women, they can be violent.

They are uneducated, illiterate, hustlers desperate seeking money and someone mug enough to transport them to a better life. This area is the epicentre for drugs transhipment and the DEA needs to check it out!!.

Most in Bayahibe and La Romana are dealing in drugs or working as drugs couriers as well. It's how they afford those big shiny motor bikes.

It's also how the local police afford those top of the range 4x4's when earning $50 a week.

the D.R. is the most corrupt country I have ever worked in. Visitors who stay in A.I hotels do not know what is going on.

You may recall the Canadian woman Danielle from Moncton who was a bit too trusting with the Haitian guy she wander off with.

Well one of the female divers who stayed in touch with her told me that the poor woman had called her to say the guy had raped her. Forced himself on her and she returned home to Canada with a blue and broken lip.

He was after money or she may have caught him thieving from her after raping her.

I do hope the poor woman has an STI and Aids check up as both are rife here in Bayahibe and in the D. Republic.




Apr 15, 2010
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Awesome!
by: MissMiss

I now know the terms Jinetero and Sankie. I have only decided that the next time i visit a country, and I get hit on by a very attractive man who wants to sleep with me or seduce me, especially if its in the caribbean, that I would tell him its at a price. At which point, he'd BETTER WALK AWAY!!!! Cost me near enough savings to be on that trip in the first place, and much more if I don't keep my head on straight! I won't be apologetic about my comment because I'm not talking about true, eternal and self-giving love by both partners, I'm talking about the smooth talkers...... And If possible, get 5 email address just for the fun of it and see who keeps up the game the longest. Here or Home a man in love is accountable, available, willing, wanting, and loves you for you and only you and not in love bc of how you take care of him, treat him special, or fluff his feathers. He'd make life easy and natural and you'd feel it. Time & Distance is the test. As soon as money and gifts are involved consider it a loss on the financial balance sheet. Our gut instinct is sometimes used based on convenience, but shouldnt be so, we should listen to it all the time... so you can look back, and smile that you've 'listened to your heart, mind, and soul.'

Apr 15, 2010
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More on Skankie
by: Alexis

Sankie support network

Naturally, with so much to do, a sankie sometimes needs help. Since he frequently cannot even write in Spanish, let alone English, the sankie needs someone to type e-mails for him. For this he will usually employ a friend, possibly someone who works at an internet café to type and send his e-mails for him. For this, she will receive a cut of the Western Union wire that he receives as a result. Frequently, a sankie will save scripted letters that he just copies and pastes with his ?helper? inserting the appropriate name for him. Also, he will have several buddies who usually all operate separately as sankies themselves, who he can rely upon to assist him in his landing of a new victim. While the sankie is with his victim, one of these ?support sankies? might come and tell him that there is some emergency. The sankie will then rush off and return to tell his victim the bad news of how he has this sudden dilemma. Of course, it will require money to fix.

Also, the sankie?s boss at the resort might be a sankie himself. He might then decide to conveniently fire the sankie on the last day of the woman?s vacation, only to rehire him as soon as she gets on the plane. She will then go home deeply in love with her new man but concerned about his financial welfare. In order to help him out until he can get a new job, several trips to Western Union will follow.

Additionally, a sankie will frequently introduce a victim to his family. His mother, sisters, brothers and whoever else will also be a part of his support network. They will act genuinely pleased to meet her and leave the victim with the impression that she is the only girl in the sankie?s life. Of course, it is all an act. A new girl is brought home every week and the family gets to enjoy some of the money the sankie is getting from all of his victims. The sankies are professionals and once in a sankies grip, a starry eyed, naive female tourist doesn?t stand a chance.

Of course, with so many ?girlfriends? to keep track of, he sometimes runs into complications. It could happen that two or more of his girlfriends come back to visit at once. This can be a major problem. In this case, it is best for him to sever his ties with whichever one he considerers less profitable. For her, there will be no more sanky panky. But that?s not too bad of a loss for him; after all, there will be another plane of potential victims landing soon.

DAlso, sometimes, a ?girlfriend? decides she can?t stand to be away and decides to move down to be closer to her man. For the sankie, this is not good. He needs to immediately turn the woman off so that she returns home. After all, one woman around him for too long will cramp his style and be bad for business.

Apr 15, 2010
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Skankie Continued..
by: Alexis

The girls in the girlfriend stage have already returned to their native countries and have not only developed feelings for the man they met and left behind, they have also frequently fallen madly in love with him. The sankie has been able to form a bond with them, build their trust, shower them with romance, and give them hopes of returning to a life of romance and love together with him in a tropical paradise. Shortly after their return home, the sankie will initiate contact with the victim by phone and/or email displaying his sincerity. This is when the extortion tricks usually begin.

Many sankies use the same stories to extort money from their victims with the most common claim being that his mother is sick and he needs money for her hospital bills. At this point, the woman actually thinks she is in a real lasting relationship and feels obligated to help. She can?t tell her new boyfriend that she won?t help his mother, so she wires him as much money as he claims he needs. Some other common stories are that the sankie himself is hurt and cannot work or that his friend or another member of his family is hurt and needs money for hospital bills. The sankie always promises to pay this money back and during the same conversation, reassures the woman that he loves her and that they have a future together.

Some sankies use different methods to extort the money. Some will use tricks such as e-mailing victims and telling them that they wish they could hear their voice but cannot afford a phone. This generally leads to the victim rushing to western union to wire money to her man so he can buy a phone and a calling plan to call her. Then of course the phone breaks or there is some subsequent story why he needs more money. They will continue to use ploys such as this to get money until such time as the girl gets fed up and stops falling for them, if indeed that time comes. Of course, the money received is used for personal enjoyment and to gain the trust of new victims.

Some sankies, on the other hand, have a completely different angle/agenda. They are just looking for a foreigner to fall in love with them so they will be able to get a visa out of the country. Then once out of the country, of course, the romance quickly ends with the sankie proceeding with his new life and the woman left devastated both emotionally and sometimes financially as well.

Apr 15, 2010
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Sankie Part 3
by: Alexis

So, how exactly do these sankies manage to scam so many women? Well, firstly, as stated before, they take advantage of human nature/weakness. They realize that most of these women, being on vacation, are there for enjoyment and probably are more adventurous than they would normally be. They are aware of the fact that with no man accompanying them, these women might be looking to have a little ?fling? while on vacation. They might be looking for a little sankie panky?. What the sankies then do is approach each woman tactfully. They use what sales people call "qualifying the buyer" questions to pinpoint what your "needs? are. The unsuspecting tourist thinks it's so sweet that this man cares so much about her life and what she thinks.
They also ask specific questions and let the tourist do all the talking while they "mirror" her answers, meaning they repeat her values and what she thinks of life so it seems as if they have similar interests and therefore must be soul mates. Then when the woman appears interested in or at least intrigued by her new man, he will ask her on a date.
Now, the "sankie panky" begins.
The business usually entail a night out drinking and dancing where the sankie can exhibit his exceptional dancing skills. This will be followed by more nights of the same depending on the length of the woman's vacation. Of course, at some point, the sankie becomes intimate with the woman. Depending upon the woman, he picks the proper time to initiate this so that the act will have the most emotional impact.
Different sankie panky approaches
By this time, the sankie generally has formulated a detailed plan of attack on how he will extort as much money as possible from his new victim. A sankie may determine that a woman does not qualify as a good victim because she lacks the naiveté required. In these cases, the sankie will generally allow the woman to pay for everything during their dates. He will then repay her with sexual favors. The sankie recognizes that these women are just on vacation to have a good time and seeing that he gets free nights out drinking and dancing, he is more than happy to oblige the woman in whatever she is seeking (sankie panky). However these are not the real victims that the sankie is seeking out.

What the sankie is really looking for is the woman whom he knows will get emotionally attached to him. With these women, the sankie insists on paying for their nights out, thereby building their trust. Of course, the money he is spending is being supplied by other victims whose trust has already been built and who have advanced from the romancing stage to the girlfriend stage.

Apr 15, 2010
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Sankie Part4.
by: Anonymous

The above paragraph is a typical example of what a growing number of female tourists who travel to the Dominican Republic report are their experiences with ?sankies?. Sankies essentially are Dominican con men who prey on unsuspecting female tourists. They are what are commonly referred to in the Unites States as gigolos.
They almost always come from poverty, have little or no education and are frequently illiterate. This does not mean that they are not intelligent, however. What they do is prey on human nature/weakness.
The vast majority of these sankie encounters occur on the all-inclusive resorts that scatter the coasts. This is neither to say that all of the men who work at these resorts are sankies nor that sankies do not exist and operate outside these resorts, however, since these resorts are where many North American and European women come to spend their vacations, it is only natural that the sankies find there way there.

They work on the hotel staff, generally on animation teams, as bartenders or as waiters. The salaries they earn are typically low Dominican salaries for uneducated, unskilled workers but the reasons they take these jobs are not for the salaries, but for the opportunity to interact with female tourists who they can potentially scam for much more money.

Apr 15, 2010
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The Dominican Sankie - Same as the Cuban Gigolo
by: Alexis

Dominican Republic Sanky Panky
A sankie what's that? I am a woman who just got back from a week of sun and sand in the Dominican Republic, stayed on a beautiful resort, was treated like a queen and to top it all off, I met the most terrific Dominican guy.
Now I am back home in my native country and I miss the Dominican Republic (and the guy I met) SO much that I just can't keep myself away from my computer. I spend hours surfing around Dominican Republic related sites wishing I was back there.
But, what is this word sankie I keep seeing everywhere, I read, people warn of young Dominican men who take advantage of female tourists. They tell tales of encounters with sexy, dark-skinned guys which lead to fun filled days and steamy romantic nights, only to end in disaster. They tell tales of lies, deception and thievery. Some of these women are financially and emotionally ruined after relationships with these ?sankies?. I sit back in amazement. I can't believe these women could be so foolish. Thank God the Dominican guy I met is different. I mean, he is so sincere. He is nothing like the men these girls described.

As I sit back dreaming of my new Dominican love, I receive an e-mail. It's Him! I am so impressed to see that he is trying to type in English for me! The e-mail reads, ? Halo beautiful. I miss you. I hope yu can come back to see me again soon? As I read on, suddenly something doesn't seem right. This e-mail sounds exactly like the others I read from the girls who claimed to have been taken advantage of by these sankies. My heart suddenly begins to sink. Could it be that I have been sankified???

The above paragraph is a typical example of what a growing number of female tourists who travel to the Dominican Republic report are their experiences with ?sankies?. Sankies essentially are Dominican con men who prey on unsuspecting female tourists. They are what are commonly referred to in the Unites States as gigolos. They almost always come from poverty, have little or no education and are frequently illiterate. This does not mean that they are not intelligent, however. What they do is prey on human nature/weakness.
The vast majority of these sankie encounters occur on the all-inclusive resorts that scatter the coasts.











 



Apr 07, 2010
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Re. Insurance In Order To Enter Cuba
by: Javier

With regard to the previous post on compulsory Insurance to enter Cuba.

Cuba is pretty low on crime, and it is customary for foreign visitors to offer lifts to the many hitch-hikers but this generosity has recently been backfiring.

Car related crime and mugging incidents are increasing, including attacks on foreigners by bogus hitch-hikers.

Should you be involved in a road accident where someone is injured or killed the police investigation may take several months during which time the driver may not be allowed to leave Cuba.

This is why our government has now introduced compulsory travel insurance for all visitors to Cuba or you will be denied entry.

Another factor is due to Cuba enduring the coolest winter for 20 years with temperatures falling to as low as 3C there were many flight cancellations and delays by up to 24 hours. So the government has now implemented the new law that travel insurance is compulsory for all visitors to Cuba.

Apr 07, 2010
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We Should Not Judge Others!
by: Javier

When people write on here it is usually an outpouring from the heart.

They are devastated by what has happened to them. They are victims of what is essentially a crime. They have been deceived by a hustler.

So sharing their experience is cathartic to them, a means of healing. It is also helpful to others who might be prevented from making then same mistake when they read about those experiences.

It is n not for us to judge them, to criticise them, castigate or berate them.

'There but for the grace of God go I' goes the saying, and it is so right. Who are we to judge another?. How do we know we will not be in their shoes one day and suffer the same experience which will leave us devastated.

Many of the ladies who wrote on here have been through harrowing experiences, they have lost their dignity, their life savings and their love. Or someone who fooled them deceived them in thinking they were loved.

So if someone need to air, to share those inner feelings, the last thing they need is to reprimanded, judged and criticised.


Apr 06, 2010
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Grandmother You Need To Calm Down!
by: Karen

It's you who needs to keep your vile patronising opinions to yourself.


You have insulted not just me but other posters on here. Namely Miss Miss who did give as good as she got and stood up for herself. You also insulted another male poster who also retaliated. So I am not the first to have been attacked by your viscous tongue.

You are a meanspiritred judgemental old woman a former jailer (it figures) who pokes her nose into people's busines and who is preying on people on here making judegemental caustic comments which are really none of your concern.

What people write on here is not for you to pontificate on.

I feel sorry for you, your family must despise you as much as many of the ladies who post on this website which would be much better ff without your nasty comments and criticism.

You need to stop smoking the weed it is making you very paranoid and angry.


Apr 06, 2010
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Grandma Let It Rest You're An Embarrasement!
by: Karen

You illiterate posts show you up as a deranged old woman.

Do yourself a favour and keep your anger to yourself. You have insulted more than one person on this website and your illiterate rants reveal you as a mad angry old woman.

You should lay off the ganja it creates a state of paranoia which clearly you are suffering from.

You know nothing about me. I have a Master's degree in Environmental Studies.

I am also a professional photographer who has documented Cuba in many publications and journals.

I speak fluent Spanish and have had two successful exhibitions of my work in Havana at the invitation of the Cuban government.

How dare you pass judgement or make malicious comments on what I or other write.

You're a sad demented and angry and paranoid old woman.


COMMENTS BY VIC Webmaster

PLEASE LADIES LET US RESPECT EACH OTHER, YOU CAN
DISAGREE IN A POLITE MANNER.
GENERAL NOTE ....PLEASE DO NOT INSULT EACH OTHER!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION !

Vic webmaster



Apr 06, 2010
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YOU ARE SO WRONG
by: Cayman Islands

The first thing young lady, I might let you know is that I am not an old woman of 70 I am 52, I am still very young adult, not fat, who had my children when I was 17 years old married to a handsome white Canadan man whom I met in University in Ontario Canada. lost his life in 9-11. My cildren are white skinned Canadians, who attended university in Canada. They are so very proud of me to have worked hard and achieved a good life for them. Can you say the same thing. I will not lower myself to your calling and express nasty words of insult on this media. I prefer to leave that to you, because obviousily you do not realize how very cheap you sound expressing yourselves in such degrading manner. If you had some proper bringing up and good training an attended decent schools you would think twice before you utter such words of nonsence. Young ladies, I do not smoke, not even cigarettes, young ladies I do not drink, not even beer. But I guess you have to respond with sometng your little small minds give you. I cant see anyone with intelligence supporting the trach you write, and if I was you all I would get some training and most of all use what little piece of brain you have n a positve way, before putting your mouth in gear. I am not one bit surprised about your attitude, because here in Cayman we see the same thing with people from your country. Of course we do not want them here, because they do no wash their hair or bathe their skin. Cheap and walk bare feet. Good gracious!!!

Apr 06, 2010
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Cayman, An Old Like You You Should Be Ashamed of yourself!
by: Javier

As a grandmother in her 70's you really should know better than to keep insulting and judging young women who post on here.

You come across as a very bitter old woman. You talk about your seven bathrooms as though it is some sort of proof of your status or recognition of a good character.

Well it is not. I have no idea how you made your money, nor do I care. But I can tell you, if I were your grandson you would be the last person in the world I would turn to for advice at a time of need.

You may be an old woman but you do not have even an ounce f compassion in your character.

Young women post of their experiences on here, they share, them, as a way of offloading.

That is what this website is for, communal sharing of experiences so others can learn from them and not make the same mistakes.

You keep judging them and criticising them. Is it your intention that no one ever posts here anymore, because you will drivbe them away with your criticism and judgemental insults.

You do not know the lady who posted about her experience in Cuba, she was honest and shared her experience and you called her 'Trash' That is deeply insulting to a person you neither know nor have met.

The women are human, they are young, they made a mistake in falling for the wrong man. Did you never make a mistake in your life Cayman. You wrote in one post about the Cuban prisoners you met and visited in Cuba. It's you who are the trash not the woman you insulted.

I feel sorry for your 35 year old son and your grandchildren.

With a sour and bitter old grandmother like you who needs enemies!!


Apr 06, 2010
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Lay Off the Weed RastaWoman
by: Karen

Cayman you are hilarious. Reading through your posts it is plain to see you protest too much. You try to convince too much.

It's you who are trash woman. You visit Cuba five times a year. You are not a young woman. No doubt you're a promscuous old grandmother. You have slept with Cuban prisoners which you have written about in previous posts.

You wrote ab out 'explicit sex' and sex being like 'an old sock'.

Now you say you live with a Jamaican Rasta. In another thread you condone drugs. You told oone poster who complained about drugs in the D.R. to 'Live and Let Live'.

It is plain to see where you are coming from and the type of trash that you are.

It's you who are Trash!!.

How dare you discect and judge what other women have written here. They are sharing their experiences. You storm in and insult and judge them.

If I were the webmaster I wouold ban you, because you are a nasty judgemental and disruptive influence on this otherwise great forum.

And I am not the first to have told you this. Read what Miss Miss and three other posters have told you in other threads.

Apr 05, 2010
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YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED
by: Cayman Islands

Karen, anyone who reads your comments and notice the words that you use so loosley publicly can detect that you are trash.
I only wish you could afford to om to the Cayman Islnds and see my life.
Number one, I am a retired person, artist and writer, who do absolutely nothng beside travel when ever I feel to,USA, England, Cuba the Caribbean, and where ever a plane can go.
My home is a split level Casa with 10 bedrooms, 7 bathooms 5 kitchens 3 patios a beautiful garden of fruit trees. I drive a Mercdes and also own a Ford truck. With lots of money in the bank, that is one of th reasons I can visit Cuba four times a year and spend two months. I have painings in my home from Cuba that cost thousads of dollars. I a very intelligent after spending 10 years in banking and 20 years as a government officer, now happily retired.
If you would care to see a picture of my home, please do not hesitate to send me information where I may send photos of myself and my home. My hair is beautiful down below my bottom and I am one hell of a good looking woman. I have children who do not need to live with me any more ecause they have their own homes. My oldest is 35 years old and own three houses, my youngest is 28 years old ad wn 2 homes. Wat to see pictures of them just send me informton so I can email to you. I believe you will feel envious knowing all of this, but I however, do not feel anyway about your dire situation, It is so sad when people like you become entraped in these sorryfull positions of hurting, they become nasty souls. If you become a more positive thinker you would not be hurting so much. However I say blessed in the name of Jah Rastafari.

Apr 05, 2010
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Don't Be So Agrresive And Make Assumptions Cayman!
by: Karen

I dislike very much they way you jump into a thread and make huge assumptions.

You say that

"Most men and women who go to Cuba are looking for something for nothing".

That is such a nasty assumption. It's also total B.S. and you know it.

I have been to Cuba five times. I go there because I love the island and have many friends there. Families, elderly and young. Cubans of all ages.

I have never gone there expecting anything for nothing. You have such a gross ghetoo mentality Cayman.

Must be all those rastamen you keep hanging out with.

I went to Cuba the first time to raise money for disabled Cubans. I participated in a Salsa challenge with one of their most important contemporary dance groups. I along with 50 others raised $2,500 each for the charity.

Now that is hardly going there to get 'something for nothing'.

Next time I went there to take lots of pictures of the great work happening there, the micro brigades, organic farming. I had those pictures published. I spread the word about the great things happening there which tourists never find out because they stay within confines of the all inclusive hotel.

Yu say almost gleefully that I 'was scammed' No I was not scammed.

I met a man, I later discovered he was married.So I dumped him. I was not scammed at all. I did not spend a dime on him, nor did he receive anything from me. I enjoyed the time we were together but he is a player, and no loss to me. I deserve better. He's a loser and I never settle for losers.

Besides it is none of your damn business.

I see you on all the threads here making nasty comments.

Well it is time you kept your vile assumptions to yourself.

People on here do not discect your life with your Jamaican Rastaman nor your many trips to Cuba.

Lay off the weed woman, other people's business is getting to you and it really is none of your damn business. You keep jumping to conclusions when you do not know the people much less their lives.

So keep your nose out of other people's affairs.

It's none of your damn business, what people do. Do not make assumptions when you neither know the people nor what is happening in their lives.




Apr 05, 2010
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INSURANCE REGULATIONS PUT IN PLACE
by: Cayman Islands

Well, I really have not heard this imformation anywhere as yet,but if it is true, I think there must be some logic reason for it. Furthermore, majority of persons who visit Cuba are curious. After the first visit, the following visits are ususlly to gain something, not always good.
If the Government see where it has to protect itself from outsiders, so be it. Remember that Cuba is a Communist Country.......and the outside world needs to stop trying to change them. I am very happy when I go to Cuba and do not see "Burger King" or "Kentucky Fried Chicken" on every corner. Yes they can improve on many things, but I agree,keep the chain out. Countries, I wont bother to call their names, want to change the world to please themselves. I like alot of things about Cuba, that is why I visit three times a year, spending more than a month at one time. If I am rquired to pay insurance to visit, why not, "ts their party, they cry ifthey want to. Like it our not majority of the men and women who go to Cuba is lookin for something for nothing. I really cannot see anyone with sence wanting to sue a scammer. You were looking for that, so you got scammed. So what next, "Let it be a lesson and move on" Spend your money on important things, collectve, paintngs art etc. Do something positive, like adopting a poor family and take care of them. Take back Somethig you can enjoy when you go back home, instead of t remmberance how you have been scammed.

Apr 04, 2010
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Just heard on radio that Cuba Government are concerned!
by: Karen

The Cuban Government is becoming very concerned at being sued by tourists who's been conned by workshy idler Cuban scammers?.

So they have implemented a new law, new legislation that all tourists entering Cuba have to have insurance before entering Cuba. Or they will be turned away at entry.

Unless you have Insurance you will be unable to enter Cuba.

Could this be a safeguard against all of the pissed off angry women who've been bankrupted.

Duped, conned, scammed out of many £ thousands of pounds by criminal Cuban hustlers?.

It's a thought.
COMMENTS by Vic Webmaster

NOTE: this new law, effective from May 2010 is only a medical insurance. The tourist must prove that he/she has a medical insurance (accepted by the Cuban government). Some observers see this measure as an extra income for the Cuban government, others see it as a Cuban protection against "free health tourism". This insurance has nothing to do with protection against scams or marriage fraud.


Apr 04, 2010
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I was fortunate!
by: Karen.

You're right Miss Miss, I was luck to spot a rat and get out fast.

I would advise ladies on here to look out for the same signs. Is he too charming, smiling a lot, over chatty, charming, coming on too fast. Does he drink a bit too much, smoke even.

Is he dropping hints about iPhones, sports shoes, a certain type of trendy sportswear.

Assuming that you will return and he's already making plans for that. Not caring about how you feel or figure in his scenario. Not mentioning his family, perhaps he has a wife, a girlfriend.

Do you feel you are being rushed into something, pressurised, bamboozled. Are you having niggly concerns that you are being somehow swept along is his master plan.

Then STOP right there. Have a serious think about all of it. Talk to your friends, family. Air your feelings. Take stock of the whole scenario and you will come up with a solution. You will see things more clearly and realise that you are part of his master plan, his scheme. You're being swept along in it all.

So email him and express your concerns. If he complains makes threats or gets nasty. Just block him!.

I did and it works. Good Riddance to them is what I say.


All of the above is not above true love.

True love does not ask, put pressure, make demands, insist. It does not make you feel stressed or manipulated. True love is about understanding compassion, giving, and most all it is about genuine trust.

Apr 03, 2010
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I agree with Karen.
by: Karen

Karen is right. There really is no need to give gifts. I mean Cubans are not exactly destitute and hungry.

They have free housing, free education even to University level. Free Medical care and some food rations. All in all they have a comfortable existence and want for nothing.

There's a generation however who want something for nothing, like that same generation the world over. They will use all the tricks in the book to get gifts. As I mentioned in my last post I almost fell for the charm, the act. Boy was he an actor. An umpire with the Cuban nactional team. Tall handsome a talker a smoothie. Dropping hints about the latest Iphone. I laughed at his audacity.

I did however bring him drinks, since he was not allowed any. However it was an all inclusive so I was not being charged. he was very demaning. Obviously used to being waited on.

It was only in hindsight when I returned home that I realised what a self centred selfish egotistical oaf he was. He continued to email me and was stunned when I told him what I thought of him. He said God would not forgive me etc.

I told him I would block him if he continued to email me and I copied in his cousin who's email he used, and showed him up. I also told him he was a lousy lover. Felt sorry for his missus.

Would love to have seen his face when he realised his cousin was reading this too.

I told him I felt sorry for his poor wife if he was chasing women when on tour and shame on him.

This bore expected me to fly to Havana and see him 'every other day' What a prat!.

Good riddance is what I say. Ladies be tough. Bring them nothing and trust them even less. They appreciate you a lot more.

Remember ladies you deserve the best. Do not settle for less that the best...Ever!!.

Apr 03, 2010
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Gifts for a Ghost!
by: MissMiss

Combining some great comments here: Yes do not give gifts to a ghost. Sometimes you might even think he'll keep those socks and give that blouse to his sister, that and a bunch load of other 'modest things' even though you might say "Hey, at least I'm not giving him an IPOD"... First it may answer your doubts that at least he accepts minimal gifts and is 'still with you', but he can very well break up with you if he's not happy with 'bigger gifts', or then it only costs you another ticket back to 'see if he kept those gifts' instead of selling or giving to a new girlfriend, or whatever. Oh, but wait, he's the type of guy who doesnt want to accept gifts, turns out that this particular quality of his had you fall in love and got him a ticket out of the country. Either way it works more in their favour than our own!! Take Your Time! :) cheers

Mar 28, 2010
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A Great Post and Sound Advice
by: Karen

I enjoyed read your post because you talk sense. You are an intelligent woman and it cannot have been easy for you to wait for so many years until your partner manages to get an exit visa.

Meanwhile you are having to maintain his children. I admire you for your strength and determination.

I will take your advice next time I visit Cuba. Last time I was there I met a baseball player who was staying in the same hotel. He was charming and a real smoothie. A talker who charmed the ladies. I could see him flirting with the receptionist and also with a married lady from Canada who's husband was with her. She actually gave him her email add.

He kept hinting to me how much he wanted a IPhone, even i don't have an iPhone.

He also hinted about wanting a certain pair of the latest cut off trousers. Hints all the time.

We saw each other every day and became close. He called me every morning from Havana after he had left. He even made a return trip to see me on his own while his team made it's way to Camaguay for a match.

He travelled through the night to see me. He dropped a hint that his bus would cost him to return to Havana. I gave him 25 Cuban pesos as I knew as a Cuban that was the cost of the fare.

He looked at the 25 pesos in disgust and stormed out of the from shouting at me in Spanish and in apparent disgust. I followed him shocked, he did not wait and stormed down the road, showing me up in front of the other guests.

He said to the receptionist on his way out ."I'll call you" humiliating me.

Staff in the hotel told me that he was married. He emailed me when I returned home and I told him not to contact me again, that I was disgusted by his behaviour and that I did not want a man who was cheating on his wife.

He wrote me an angry email saying I was a 'Canalla' and that God would punish me. He vented his anger at me rejecting him on me. I then blocked him.

I told him that he should be ashamed of himself as a 40 year old man who was on the Cuban national team to be behaving in such a nasty childish way.

I am thankful that I managed to see his real character before losing my heart or money.

Good Riddance to him!.






Mar 18, 2010
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True or Fake?
by: Anonymous

I have a fiance that lives in Cuba. We have been together for 6 years and have three young children together. I didn't meet him at some tourist spot, but through a friend. He was a hard worker when I met him and worked in the medical field as a physical therapist. Because he is trying to move to the states with us, he was required by the Cuban government to quit his job and wait a total of five years before he can leave the country. Because of this, I have had to have a very difficult/expensive relationship with him. Also, I have traveled to Cuba several times over the years for extended periods of time and I can tell you for sure that everything these ladies on this post are telling you is the solid gold truth. My situation is very unique, because although I say that my situation has been very expensive, it is only due to the expenses I've incurred traveling to Cuba because my children need to see their father otherwise I wouldn't go. I have never spent money on my man nor has he encouraged me to do so because he understands that I have to take care of our family. Also, before the children, I tried him through the fire. My advice to you is to take everything he tells you with a grain of salt. When I say that Cubans are scandalous, that is a big understatemeant. Due to their way of life, they are in constant survival mode and what would seem abnormal to most, is very normal to them. It is nothing to many of them to meet some tourist and use them for everything they can get while having a spouse on the island with whom he is dividing all of the gifts he recieves with. They have a very ghetto mentality that says, "The nicer a person treats me, the more stupid that person is." In fact, the fact that he has a tourist girlfriend makes him even more attractive. My man still thinks that I don't trust him, because the more I go to Cuba the more I see and I don't like it. Even though he has never asked me for anything, all of his neighbors and friends tell me how much he loves me and how true he is to me, and that I love him with all of my heart, I still don't trust him completely because all that I have seen there. If I were you, I would say that I had nothing to give other then friendship until he's made his own way out of Cuba. You can't have a serious relationship with a ghost let alone pay for it. Also, when you go, don't bring anything for anybody, not even him. And because he told you just to pay for the trip, tell him that you brought no more money than $100 to pay the airport fees. Talk about how broke you are and all the things you don't have and see how long he's saying, "Te quiero".

Mar 06, 2010
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Jamiela Be Very Careful
by: Anonymous

Men who work in resorts are spoilt.

They meet women day in day out. They try it on all the time.

Fortunately most women have enough savvy to see them for what they are ..opportunists looking for a mug to export them to a better life.

You took the bait.

You fell for him hook line and sinker.

He is a player well versed in Yumas. In fact he has a Master's Degree in Yumas.

He did not say 'Te Quiero Mucho' for a month. How clever is that. How savvy is that.

I'll bet he did not mention a cellphone, sports shoes or clothing.

Not until he has been emailing you for three months and you feel comfortable that he is 'the One'.

Only then will he casually introduce the 'Cellphone' or ' Nike /Addidas Sneakers'word.

By then he realises you will be soooo smitted that you will seek out a tourist on Trip Advisor to courier the gifts to him. someone who happens to be visiting a resort close to his town. Or since he is a resort worker a tourist staying in the hotel he works at.

So it goes on. Eventually you will incur the cost of Notary, air far, departue visas lawyers etc. etc.

Unless you have a compassionate bank manager in Canada you might find yourself bankrupt.

But hey he still telling you 'Te Quiero Mucho' 'Mi Vida', and you will pay any price to read those words.




Feb 06, 2010
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Karen
by: Anonymous

Here is my advice to women planning a vacation in Cuba. If you want a stress free holiday do not hook with a Cuban man. Believe me it will destroy your vacation.

He will claim you as his property. Cling to you like a leech. Call you his 'Mujer' tell you 'Te Amo' within days of meeting you.

He will wrap himself around like a Limpet, draining the oxygen out of you.Your neck will be in a gridlock as he clasps you claiming you as his.

He will drink like a fish, usually rum..at your expense of course. Drop hints about how much he would love a cellphone, iPod. They know all about the latest gadgets.

He will always be starving and expect to dine..at your expense.

In other words he is a drain on your purse and on your energy, physical and emotional.

He will make demands on you. Find fault with you, the true character will emerge within a week, his guard will be down, he thinks he has conquered you, and you will want to see the back of him asap, and you realise he is no prize, and you loose your patience and tell him where to go.

From that moment you will begin to enjoy your vacation, find the peace of mine that you flew there for.

Your time from there on in will be stress free and you will not be having to worry about your face creams lotions shampoo depleting in a couple of days. You will also wake up feeling fresh and without a sore head which his company always ensures.

So ladies socialise but make it clear from the outset that you are NOT his 'Mujer'.


Feb 04, 2010
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They Care More About IPods than their 'Amantes'
by: Karen

Wise words Cayman. Any woman who belives a word these parasite players tell her must be as naive as Cinderella, or have as much self esteem.

I was in Varadero two years ago. The Cuban National Baseball team were in the same hotel. One of them - a real playboy hit on my friend. She is no beauty but a nice person.

This hustler is a married man, has been married for 9 years to a fat older woman a mother figure in Havana. Despite this he is chasing women when touring Cuba.

He took a picture of the latest IPhone in a magazine she was reading. Then showed her the picture and kept telling her how much he liked her and how much he would so love to have an IPhone and they could communicate every day.

She laughed at him and told him there was not a hope in hell that she would be purchasing a $400 iPhone that he could buy on the black market in Havana for half the price.

She told him that the IPhone would not pick up a signal in Cuba as broadband did not exist there, it was slow as a snail dial up.

The hustler baseball star then told her how much he would love a pair of camiflauge cuts offs. She suggested he ask his wife to buy him a pair. Neither her nor myself were impressed by the 'I'm a star' act nor do we care about baseball.

If he chases women like this when on tour, I feel sorry for his wife.

When he saw no 'Regalso' were forthcoming he stopped calling and emailing her.

Jan 26, 2010
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LEAVE THEM RIGHT THERE, DONT MARRY THEM
by: Cayman Islands

Good comments Karen, I am wondering now if it does not make more sence to give to some orphan in another land. I have been assisting two families in Cuba, both were very poor, however, one of the family I find very ungrateful. They have been selling the clothes I take for them to buy Cell phone, ipod and name brand clothes, and sleeping on the floor, bathing from a pangalana and dont have a flusing toilet.
My friend also bought them a bicycle to get a job and work. They traded the bicycle for a cell phone and dont have a mattress on their bed. Does that make sense? Don't want to get a job and dont care how good you treat them, they will find a way to rob you. Anyone wo have married them, it is just a matter of time to exerience hell with them, trust e dont do it. Leave them right where they are.

Dec 09, 2009
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Wise Words Cayman!
by: Karen

Cayman very wise words indeed.

My friend Elena did not marry Ernesto. He used an older German lady to get out of Cuba, conned her married her then did a disappearing act soon after.

She did not take him from any woman. In fact no Cuban woman would touch a player like Ernesto, a user and a hustler. They're too smart those Cuban ladies.

Elena, like many women was in awe of him, he was tall, charming AfroCuban man who could cut a dash on the dance floor and she was studying Cuban music as part of her thesis.

She was swept off her feet by this con artist and yes he was from Santiago which seems to produce a hell of a lot of scammers.

I would never every bring a man here. No way. In fact I think they don't respect you if you have to pay all that money to get them out. They see you as a mug.

They respect you more when you tell them the truth. That you have no intention of marrying them...ever.

I most certainly have no intention of flying them to your country.


That to be would be worse than excess baggage, a heavy liability which a lot of ladies have realised all too late.

Any money I work for is for me, not for some parasite. If I want to donate to those less fortunate there is real poverty in Africa, I would rather send a donation to a child who's parents have died of Malaria or Aids in Africa, a child who needs food, clothes, education.

Why would I spend on an idle man who is well fed, has clothes, has had free healthcare and education.

Women who spend on these casanvas must be out of their mind.

I would like to spend time there. Not belonging to anyone. Not any man's posession. I would like to rent a place perhaps on Isla de Juventus or a rural setting and read a lot of books, swim and dance, and perfect my Spanish.

There is not a chance in hell that I am subsiding a Cuban parasite.

I do hope other women will not be so foolish to do so as they are wasting their hard earned money and they will not be respected for it.




Dec 09, 2009
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LILE MANY OTHERS SHE WAS FOOLED
by: Cayman Islands

Karen, this Ernesto sounds like a Santiago man to me. But truly it is difficult to find an honest man in Cuba. The only way you will be able to have a hals- decent life with one, is by settling in Cuba. Getting a home and kids if you are young. Now the situation is this, How many women can afford to give ujp the free democratic life for Cuba. It is a strain, both on your mind and pocket book. Because you will liv e there but will want to enjoy all the things like good food, Air condition and clean surroundings. I have known friend from the Cayman Islands who tried that and had to leave after a few years. It was too overbearing, because they had to rely on transfering funds from Cayman every week to live good there. But the question was, what am I gaining by this? They soon learned, that sex wears out like and old shoe, and if you dont care too much for that old shoe which was once so beautiful, you will get rid of it.
If you make a life in Cuba with a partner, Number one you have got to be extreemly careful that the partner does not have access to your money, Trust me when I say he will abuse you and rob you, he will not want to work, and will spend your money on his men and women friends. The women really dont care if your partner has a wife or husband, They are loose, and only cares about presents and money, cell phones, namebrand clothes and shoes. Sex to them is just like another number, you call it.
I am so sorry for what has happened to the girl with Ernesto. As I see it she brought that upon herself, because she should not have married him knowing he was married to someone else. As women we must have some pride, and where men are concerned, this is what I would say. "Men is like a piece of carpet; lay it right from the beginning, and you can walk on it all your life" Walk good.

Dec 07, 2009
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Continuation of Previous Post...
by: Karen

I am not sure if Elena met Ernesto in Havana or Santiago but he worked her, he played her.

I mean this guy convinced her he loved her and wanted to marry her.

She was against marriage. So this fraudster married a much older German lady who provided him with a ticket to Europe and an exit visa which must have cost a fortune.

He stayed in Germany a few weeks them flew on to meet Elena. She lived with him and soon became pregnant. As soon as she was pregnant the violence began. They argued about him not working. Her small income could not support them both. He started beating her up.

I visited her and tok her clothes for the baby and was shocked to see how she had changed.

She was thin bruised badly, and stressed. I advised her to call the police and have him removed from her home as he was a violent man and a threat to her and her baby.

She was peniless, he even stole the little money she received in family allowance for her baby. He spent it on drink and cigarettes at nightclubs where he danced all night with other women.

This is not an isolated story of how a Cuban con man has ruined a woman's life. It is a cautionary tale to other women such as Miss Miss who seems to believe she has found 'the one'. She says she is 'poor'as if that makes the slightest difference to a man with a mission to leave Cuba.

But none of the women who travel to Cuba are rich. We are all struggliing to get by.None of jus are rich.

What we do not need is some charlatan to manipulate us and ruin us emotionally mentally and financially.

Read through the stories on this website and the CubaAmor and Cubamania websites. Many hundreds of diaster stories of how Cuban men played women and ruined their lives.

Miss Miss it does not matter if he says 'Te Amo' or ;Te Quero' you are being played. He like all Cuban men is on a mission. The mission to leave Cuba by any means necessary.

So much easier for them to use a gullible woman who they've connned into believing they love her that to work a lifetime to safe the cost of a raft to Miami.

When you receive an email it is not written by your Cuban man, it is a set up, his whole family are in on then game.

Very few have internet access in Cuba. The mothern usually has connections in the limited fields that have access, university, hospital etc.

Next time you read 'Te Amo' 'Te Estranjo Mucho' just think that it was not typed by your Cuba b.f. but by a complete stranger reading from a script or note that is the protoptye used by all Cuban con men.

I'll bet if we all posted the 'love letters' on this website. They would all read the same. They would be identical.

Becauuse all Cuban men share the identical mission - to leave Cuba and use a gullible woman as the means to to get out.




Dec 07, 2009
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Cayman Well Said! I Totally Agree With What You Said!
by: Karen

Cayman you have summed up in that last post exactly what the Cuban man is like.

They are extremely manipulative.

I too have heard that phrase..'If you don't return another woman will snap me up'.I'm what they are looking for.

They are sly like foxes and will use anything to manipulate you and make you jealous.

I laughed when I read your suggestion that they should go ahead and find another woman. Because that is precisely what I said to my Cuban friend a year ago..'Why don't you find a large Canadian woman with low self esteem if you are looking for a ticket out of Cuba, because I have no plans to take you or any man out of Cuba. Nor do I intend to marry you or any man, because I do not believe in marriage".

You should have seen his face, he was stunned. But I do not believe in playing games, I have seen too many women hurt by games.

Let me give you an example. A lovely friend of mine - Elena had her life totally destroyed by a major Cuban gigolo game player called Ernesto. This guy had played the field and was looking for a woman to fly him out of Cuba.

Elena in contrast had little experience of men, she had spent her life studying. She worked two jobs to pay her way through University and had a PHD in music studies. She played classical music and went to Havana to study for her thesis. (to be continued)

Dec 06, 2009
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ITS YOUR PARTY, CRY IF YOU WANT TO
by: Cayman Islands

It is so sad that women from certain countries are so easy. Remember, a man will do what ever you let him. If you let him know from the begining where you stand there should not be a misunderstanding. Cubans may want to tell you that they only make 12 or 15 dollars a month. That may be true, but I dont see anyone starving in Cuba, and they are always dressed in the latest designer clothes. Some with celphone and ipod too. But the problem is that they cannot satisfy. Dont care how much you do for them they still want more, and they try to pressure you with saying things like I am going to escape, or that someone else likes them
The best thing to do is agree with them, when they say they are going to escape, you just say I think it is a great idea. Also if they try to make you jealous, tell them that is a nice girl, I really think she suits you more than I do. You have to be the opposite. They have too much trickery.
Most women after visiting Cuba, and that is pretty, slim fat and ugly rich and poor intelligent and fools always get suckered in by the hot Cuban love. They give that to everyone, so dont think you alone. A Cuban will lie to you if you put a gun in his or her face makes no different.
What ever you are lookimg for in Cuba and find it, then take it. You live once, and if you feel happy doing what you doing then go right ahead. Its your party, cry if you want to.

Dec 06, 2009
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fairytale...hmmm
by: MissMiss

i hardly believed it to be fairytale b/c it does seem good and bad to me the situation i am in...in all my posts i'm trying to admit that it sounds great but i am having some difficulty with it. and who is to say a cuban man doesn't want a chance to love somebody i don't know. i'm trying to say that "i am enjoying it, this is how I am enjoying it until it ends if it ever does." he hadn't mentioned marriage in the first week and has never said TE AMO which is much much stronger than TE QUIERO--- i say TE QUIERO to everyone... even for me it is an easy 2 words to say, but he has mentioned a few things that only make him fall in his own trap, kind of like, if I throw some bait at him it's only his own mouth (like a fish) that will get him caught. I know he wants out, and he wants out to travel the world, but he loves his family, I know he'd rather stay in cuba, but there's just that 'something' that drives them out of the country. I am a poor woman in this country, but rich in his eyes, and we do talk about how frustrating it is that only a marriage document can get him out...seemingly b/c there are ways a cuban can get to south america.

Dec 06, 2009
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Common Sense That's All!.
by: Karen

Miss you make your relationship sound so perfect. Like a fairytale romance. You know his 'soul', what's next Marriage :) An expensive plane ticket to the UK or Canada? An expensive 'Exit Visa' to the Cuban Government?. I wish you luck!.

I was not describing a Cuban 'Actor' just your average Cuban man.

The type that the average tourist on vacation. Let's face it most women met Cuban men at a resort of in a casa dela music or trova.

What I said was just pure common sense, words of wisdom offered to ladies like Jamiela or others who might be a little naive about what is going on.

As Vic the webmaster rightly pointed out 70% of Cuban marriages end in divorce. He also pointed out why marriages fail, and how difficult the life is for the average Cuban.

So the odds are stacked against a marriage with a foreign woman.

For a start they rarely settle in a cold climate away from their own culture family and friends.

So Miss Miss stop kidding yourself. Listen to what is really going on and read between the lines.

You man wants out as much as most Cuban men want out.

You Miss Miss are a much easier means of getting out and a lot cheaper. And you had better believe he will discuss marriage if he has not done so alread :). In the first week perhaps?.

I hear it costs them $5,000 on the black market for a raft to Miami and 50% never get there.

Dec 06, 2009
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it is what it is
by: MissMiss

I find the latest comments to be a bit more to the point of what its like to 'date a cuban actor' b/c I was even questioning how can acting be involved with such memorable & unique moments that are way too personal to mention here and thats how i judge my relationship. See, I don't think i'll be doing myself any good by 'breaking' up with him just b/c i'm 135 lbs & I don't speak spanish like a cuban or dance like a cuban girl & I bring this up with him & he tells me enough already. What kind of insecurity is that anyway? I have that kind of insecurity here too. I still find in my bf qualities I look for at home, but I don't want to be happy in my relationship b/c he doesn't have an ipod or a brand shirt or whatever, thats' like saying i always want him to be 'below' me. young ppl like him WANT to spend hard earned money like we do but they hardly have a way to, so when he called me with the good news that he got enough savings for a cell phone and the sim card i know that he can't be acting. I respect his privacy and he respects mine. We have to remember to have conversations w/ each other about our lives, our dreams, our stress. I've had robotic email messages from other cubans so yes, I can now clearly see the difference b/w paypal friendships vs. progressive relationships. I get frustrated that I see red flags with my bf but i have to wait for our next email opportunity to find out the truth or clarification & its usually for the better. another thing I need to remember is that life for him isn't as eventful as it is for me here. I may have tons of bdays, outings, clubbing, shopping, friends, family, vacations, classes, lessons, money here and there and those are my stories to him: that's beyond his imagination, and what do they have to tell us about their day? it costs triple to buy anyting it would cost us, they're opening a new tourist shop, 5ml nasal spray is on sale for 12 cuc, something became illegal, something else is now legal, a food item is off the libreta, a bike pedal is broken, the email centre for cubans is closed early or connection is bad, the bus didn't arrive on time to get to hometown, and the best tv entertainment is One Tree Hill. I also need to focus that my relationship with him is for the purpose of happiness for as long as we can, and I let him know that I care about him, his soul, and I've been pretty selective in the past and he knows this, so only time will tell what he plans to do with my heart.

Dec 06, 2009
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the Cuban Con Artist Warning Signs To Watch For!.
by: Karen

Jamiela Sherina is right. You have to follow your instincts.

If you feel he is a con artist then move on drump him.

There are always little signs you can spot. If he tells you he loves you on the first date.

If he seems to have a lot of time on his hands, and is always smartly dressed with Canadian or UK or USA football shirts and Nike Trainers with cellphone, for sure he is being funded by other foreign women.

If you buy a drink and he is in on a scam with the barman. For example the bar man tells you he is 'out of change' so you have forked out $10 CUC for two beers and are left standing with no change coming your way.

He then says to the bar man, 'oh give me a pack of cigarettes to make up the difference'.
That is your money and you know they are in on a scam, fraud together.

If he bombards you with emails telling you he misses and loves you so much, same old same old script in every email.


Yet the email tells you nothing about him his life his family his friends..just the same old 'Te Quiero Mucho'

His emails read like those automated call centre machines they have on PayPal which drives you njuts because you are typing away and you know it is to a machine. That is what it feels like when you read an email from a Cuban man.

It's not been written by him. It's written by his mother's lover who works in a clinic is a doctor or scientist or a teacher at a university and has access to a computer.

The layabout loafer can't type let alone use a computer. So the emails you receive are not real they are as fake as the computer operated wizard at paypal or your internet provider call centre.


Be careful, watch out for the obvious signals. A con man can only con you and fool you for so long, he cannot keep up the pretense for long he will slip up and you will see his true slippery snake like con artist character.

Dec 02, 2009
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Spend Time Getting To Know HIm - Listen To Your Instinct
by: Sherina

Jameila, you have to follow your heart.

But please do not lose your head.

Use your instinct. If you sense something is not right then it usually is not. Listen to your instinct, it is always right.

Do not listen to other people's comments, only you know this man spent time with him, and only you can judge what is he is genuine or fake.

What concerns me though is when you say you met him at a resort. It seems that most of the men who work in tourist hotels on resorts are playboys.

I am only going on the information I have read on the CubaAmor and Cuba Mania websites. There are some real horror stories there. All of them seem to Canadian women who stay at those resorts.

Is your friend a waiter?. a barman? then you have to be wary. Hotel staff meet women all the time, every week there's a new batch arriving and they use the same corny chat up lines.

The webmaster is an intelligent man. You can see what he wrote on the preface of this site. He said be careful of the line 'Te Quiero Mucho' because it is a line used too easily by so many Cuban men.

A lot of young Cuban men are desperate to leave, much more so than their parent's generation who seem t be happier with the revolution and the economy.

Younger Cubans have been exposed to tourists they see material things and they want them. They want new trainers, they want ipods, cellphones.


They all want to travel and the only way out is via a woman so the old 'Te Quiero Mucho' is a line that most woman who have been to Cuba will be familiar with. Cubans are fast and loose with the line.

I have personally seen some disaster situations. Women travel to Cuba meets a Cuban man, he is so romantic, so tactile, he bombards her with loving words in emails.

She returns a few times, marries him pays a fortune for an exit visa, sorts out the immigration papers.

He arrives and is miserable as sin from day one. As soon as his papers are finalised and he has residency he disappears.

I am sure not every Cuban is a con man, but so many of them are and they see foreign women as a way out, a passport out of poverty.

A heck of a lot cheaper than the $ thousands they would have to pay on the black market for a raft to Miami and chances are they do not arrive.

So think about all of this before you lose your heart to this man.

Spend time getting to know him. Do not shower him with presents drinks, meals. Let him be a man. A real man who really loves you will not want to use you or fool you.

Good Luck and enjoy Cuba.

If you feel this is not right then it probably is not. Listen to your instinct, it is usually right.

Nov 30, 2009
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self esteem???
by: sweeti

ha.... I'm not fat... I know I'm not ugly... I definitely do not have self esteem issues.... I'm like 115 lbs soaking wet... and I have no problems getting men in Canada.... there all just lazy!! and don't know how to treat a women right.... lol so self esteem.. hahahahah I defintely do not lack in that department.... whatever happens happens... I don't care.. if I don't explore this feeling.... I'm always going to wonder... so I have too.... it just feels like the right thing to do...whats the worst that can happen?? I loose money? damn... if thats the worst thing I don't mind exploring this feeling because money is ALWAYS replaceable.. a broken heart?? maybe,.... but you get those anywhere you are in the world... not just from cubans... and as for those who are giving all these negative nasty comments about people and their low self esteem.... damn I pitty you... you definitely have low self when you have to pick on others... and say the rudest things.... lol... miss miss..... I say explore,,.... doesn't hurt!!

Nov 30, 2009
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ELMO, YOU HAVE HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD
by: cayman islands

I dont think anyone could have made it plainer in words, than you did to this woman. Obviously she is suffering from a low esteem or something, and clearly needs some conselling about her relations with this man.
She needs to travel to other places beside Cuba, enjoy the white sand beaches of the Cayman Islands, and the friendly people. "Gosh" !!! we have loads of Canadians down here, doctors, Lawyers, Indian chief and police.
Be adventura, life is too short to throw it away on a Cuban man who only wants a free ride on an Ipod.
Woman, obviously you are only getting what you wants, not what you need. Dont settle for the lesser, dont let it matter if you are not pretty or thin. Love yourself first and then take it from there.

I do not know whether you are old or young, but which ever you are, trust me, he is only fooling you.
Telling you that "You are an amaizing woman" Is notning but a cheap "Trick of words" to make you feel great. What is he really trying to imply anyway?. Is it that you are amazing at what you do or how you do it. Listen to me carefully. "All Cubans are artist", in every form you can think of, not only on canvas, they are an artist in bed, with words, trickery and much more. Dont fool your self into thinking that you can be more artistic. "No you cannot". You may have more money, so take my advice, next time you go to Cuba use your money and buy a beautiful painting take it back to Canada and enjoy it. You will have it every day on your wall, and it will not go anywhere unless you sell it or give it away.

Nov 29, 2009
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What do you look like, really? Physically
by: elmo

If you you are not attractive or physically fit in Canada then you are the same person in Cuba. Not that it matters it is what it is. Tiny Tim once asked by the radio pesonality Howard Stern does it bother him that most if not all of the young pretty and gorgeous women that hang/cling to him just wants to be asociated with his money? He answered NO! I just want to be with them because of their youth, looks and tight bodies. We all want something, so what if it is material or vanity.

Well what do you look? there is your answer. He is into you for what you can give and do for him and you are into him for what he can do and give you. So what in the end.

Nov 26, 2009
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Getting to know one another
by: MissMiss

....Is really the point here. I personally will never know what someone's real intentions are unless I spend a lot of time with them, which usually offers opportunities for varying degrees of emotions and experiences. Unfortunately, in Canada's books, Cuba is one of those countries where marriage is a requirement for your significant other to step foot on this country to come see you. Then on the cuban end, there are limitations in how much time you spend together, where, and what you do. As human beings we all have the right to our perceived happiness the way we want to experience it and usually it is beyond us who that person ends up being-in my case he happens to be born in cuba.

Nov 26, 2009
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Stop Kidding Yourself - He's a real god actor!!
by: Michelle

Jamiela you have a real charmer there. A fantastic actor. He has really fooled you!.
Of course he wants you to learn about his culture. He's a cultured man right?.
Of course he does not want you to fly him to Canada he loves his country right?
He really has you fooled has'nt he?.
He is biding his time like the rat that he is, waiting for you to miss him so much that you will fall hook line and sinker and relent. You will send him an airline ticket to Canada.

You will pay a fortune for his exit visa. Topping up the Castro's offshore bank account and luxury lifestyle.
He will tell you he loves you so much, misses you so much, His email will all read the same. They will not containg any details about his daily life, what it really going on ie his family his Cuban lover, his work (if he has a job) So many of them are workshy and cannot be bothered to get out of bed for $5 a week.

Jamiela you are a sitting duck. A woman in love. Easy prey.

What would be the alternative?.

He would have to fork out $5,000 to a a crook for a raft to Miami and probably never arrive there, over 50% of them never make it.

So he has hit the jackpot in you Jamiela.
Of course oonce his papers come through and he does not need you any more you will see the real him, the lazy argumentative oaf who does not want to touch you, despises you and misses Cuba.

After a week of him receiving his paper you will not see him for dust. He will be gone.






Nov 26, 2009
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SOUNDS FISHY TO ME
by: Cayman Islands

I have been travelling to Cuba for the past four years. I visit 3 times a year and has just returned a few days ago. When I go to Cuba I stay from two weeks to two months. Because the extension is only for two months, unless you are married to a Cuban.
My friends in Cuba work with the Immigration Department for over 14 years, and other friends, whom are police officers in the Criminal Investigation Department.
Other friends are special security of the Government. I believe with having these class of friends I am informed correctly by them of Cuban procedures, rules and guidelines.
What you have expressed in your letter sounds fishy to me. I have not been informed of things being done that way; However it is your party "Cry if you want to"
I see the purpose of Havana guide is to relate and accept comments from persons who would have an interest in Cuba and its people, therefore giving them advice in all areas of questions. The topic of Marriage seems to be most active, that is why you will see many blogs with various thoughts. You are not obligated to take the advice of any, but if I was you I would pay attention to those persons who comment most about the same thing. I do not know if you are a young person, but by your comments it seems that you are, if not,... then its even more serious for an adult to be cautious.
Anyway I wish you all the best in your new adventure, and do trust you will read all of the comments and while in Cuba, do not let you boyfriend, his family or friends tell you what time it is. Check the clock for your self.(what I really mean is, seek out a professional person, Police, or Immigration Officer, and question them without any of your boyfriends family or he is arround.) Every body wants a regalo and they will lie to get it. Trust me.

Nov 26, 2009
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to caymen islands
by: sweeti

I'm staying with my cuban lover and his family... there is papers that he has to get from the police stating that i am his girlfriend.... then i will be allowed to stay with him.... and i'm allowed to stay for 3 months but can arrange for extended stay up to 6 months... we both already looked into all the details... but thanks for trying!! and if I marry him within the 6 months I can stay up to a year... the papers from the cops is something very serious that the cubans have to go through... it means that they can not have any other girl for a while... even if we broke up... he would not be allowed another girl... tourist girl that is... have you heard of these papers?? maybe not, because most cubans don't like to speak of it.. because that means so much commitment... that means they can not be with anyone else... and he's going to do those papers so that we will not get into trouble with the cops for being with each other... therefore it means i can be with his family and stay with them without them getting into any trouble... :)and as for being young and giddy... damn straight i'm young... not to young to be foolish.. i'm old enough to know what i want... and i know that any guy can screw you over whether they are cuban or not... even canandians are screwed.. and will take you for everything you have... so its not just cubans... it can be any man.....

too miss miss thank you... good luck to you as well on your journey... :) all the best!!

Nov 25, 2009
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RESPECT YOURSELF FIRST
by: Cayman Islands

You mentioned that you would be going to live with him for 6 month in July. "Where?" I hope you are not planning to do this in Cuba, because you are only allowed 2 months by the government. You will definately have to live in an apartment or hotel, because your cuban lover family will be in serious problems if you do otherwise.
It seems that you are young and giddy headed, or old and foolish. Which ever one I suggest you listen to wise advice you have been give to you. On the other hand, the old folks would some time use these comments :If she wont hear, then let her feel"
The thoughts of even letting a Cuban man kiss me on the mouth makes me sick when you hear the things they do to other women. Do you really think it is only you. No my friend, you are being fooled whether you want to believe it or not. They kiss everybody all over. Yes that may excite you, but it is not only you that is getting that. That thrill is sold for money, ipod, dvd, celphone and a good meal T. Shirts and jean pants. You won't be asked for anything up front, just give it some time. He will try and make you feel jealous when he feels that he is not getting anything from you. If you are an adventurous woman I say go right ahead, it takes all kinds to make up a world. Anyone who is a decent minded woman does not have to solicit sex and good time. Earn respect in the way you know how. Trust in God and do the right things, he will find you a partner when you least expect it.

Nov 25, 2009
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re :to miss miss
by: sweeti

yeah i'm taking it how it is... I'm not really caring about any of these comments anymore..... I'm enjoying every moment with him... I know the pro's and cons... im just gunna follow my heart... im not stupid... and I'm not gona fall for just words.... when someone is too sweet to you you know its too good to be true..... its not that way with me... and like I said im not letting it go just cause he say she say.... he makes me happy, thats all tha matters!!im going to live with him for 6 months in july... help me find out more about him.... and as for the old comment... that was terrible... and obviously this person who is commenting has serious issues.... im in my 20's as well and so is my cubano... all I know is that the people that comment on these walls are just ppl with a bad taste in their mouths about cubans... cause the onces that are truly happy are not looking for randoms post to reply on.. they are merely enjoying life with each other... :) its something to think about!! I have the time to read these silly comments because im not with him and I'm still doing research... but I know that if I was with him I would not be looking for negativity to comment on, I would be enjoying his presence and focusing on my life... :) so the ones who comment and these silly walls are the ones who truly have had a bad taste of cubans... :) cheers to you all... I feel bad for the ones who got hurt... and applaud the ones who made it through... all I know is just to follow your heart and open your eyes.. just be a little more cautious, and don't be blinded... because not only cubans can screw ppl over.. anyone can screw anyone over... they don't need to be cuban..

Nov 25, 2009
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Sweeti-take it as it is
by: MissMiss

Hi Sweeti, you're clearly also enjoying it as you know how, and since we're still in doubtful stages (we probably will be as long as it lasts) then clearly we have our head on our shoulders for trying to seek some level-headed insight, unfortunately its online. anyway, I've heard loads of pros and cons regarding men who have contacts in other countries especially the U.S. once in their homeland they'll find a way to the U.S. or reconnect with all the cubans in their hometown and forget about the 'yuma' that brought them over and yes their mothers usually want them to get a girl to take them out of Cuba, that is my current worry too. Or that his mom is actually his mother-in-law! can you imagine!

Nov 25, 2009
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My cloud nine..... not yours
by: MissMiss

I am on cloud nine because we are very compatible - but in cuba! I can hardly count on that in Canada. See the reason why i described it as lovey-dovey and rosey is because thats what it was-for any woman- at any age, so of course it can blind you, i admit. Going back again for 2 weeks together is a lot of time, not enough, but better than 1 week resort as most women go back to do. And by quite the age difference doesnt mean i'm a grandma, thanks for the wrinkly legs compliment, but we're both in our twenties! As I pointed out in my post: I don't recommend this for anyone, NOR would I repeat this again. We should even doubt the cuban men from non tourist town who has never met a tourist before. anyway, i'm enjoying it as I know how to enjoy it, but all I know is he won't be receiving an allowance from me, no name brand gifts, and if he finds another yuma tourist to leech off of in the meantime until june '10 then HEY YOU KNOW WHAT GOOD RIDDANCE because I WILL find out. Did I mention that I'm Latina and have dealt with leechy Latinos all my life - the minute I start having anxiety attacks over him then its over, as easy as that!

Nov 25, 2009
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Sweeti You Know The Truth Already Old Dear!!
by: Sylvia

Like Miss Miss You are also living in cloud cuckoo land.
You are a grandmother fooling yourself that he loves you.
He does not!!
He has a Cuban lover 30 years younger than you.
He might have a father who is a hustler charming grannies like you for tips at the All Inclusives.
But he is not 'rich' not at all. As a Cuban the most he will earn is $15 bucks a month.

Women like you are an embarrasment.
Young Cuban men despise you but they use you because you open your wallet (and your creepy wrinkley old legs) and buy them rum and dinner,and nice designer jeans.
You old fool, far better to focus on your grandchildren and their education and well being instead of kidding yourself that this young Cuban man cares a hoot for you.

He does not believe me!!
And you are already aware of that!!


Nov 25, 2009
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Miss Miss You're Fooling Yourself, Not Us!
by: Sandra from Calgary

I have just read the post by Miss Miss' and can say I have never read such a pile of hogwash.
who does she think she is kidding? not us that is for sure, perhaps herself. The woman is in denial.
She makes it all sound so rosy, he was so attentive, went to church, etc, etc. (Yeah Right)
Interesting that he did not want you to extend your stay?.

Did that not tell you something..? Hello!!

Interesting that he preferred you to visit in the low season. Not during the high season when most tourists visit?.
Hello? Does that not spell it out to you?.
He is a Jinetero. You bore him. He is happy for you to open your wallet during the rainy hurrican season when pickings are low and he has more time on his hands.
Get a life you silly woman!!!

Nov 13, 2009
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continued 2 wks trip
by: MissMiss

he paid for a lot, appreciated the tiny gifts i gave him (like floss shampoo and card games), and he even accepted me paying for stuff like ham and toilet paper. we both acknowledge the differences in lifestyle, but we solidified the things we have in common, and that is what goes into dating someone. i had the 'slight' opportunity to extend my trip, and after 4 days of $$ research, we both decided not to... he helped me decide not to but instead save my money because he didn't want the extension to keep me from visiting sooner than one year considering i have work/projects happening in canada. I think that to all girls that meet a cuban guy we will have these similarities: meeting him in a unique way, lots of exciting flirting, email/phone exchange when back, lots of compassion for how he lives, lots of sharing back and forth what you do, sacrificing the big stuff and sometimes the little stuff at home, going back in 6 months if not 3 months, and the real experiences begin when you're there again. Now that i'm in it and trying to enjoy it despite the distance, I wouldn't repeat it. I'd have a stronger head from the beginning and just enjoy my $900 resort vacation in cuba, and plan for the next vacation in another country. it doesn't take away from what i have with my cuban bf but i realize once i'm home theres a reality ahead of me that doesn't include him. its twisted i know. if anyone has any comments-bad or good on my situation i'd appreciate it :) lots of luck to you all... really its about the heart.

Nov 13, 2009
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Just back from 2 wks
by: MissMiss

I met my cubano bf in May on my first one week resort trip to cuba. I went with the idea i wouldnt fall for a cuban guy. well i did... with one quite younger than me. we hung out 5 days out of 8 i was there. we did almost everything except meet his family /friends. six months I contemplated whether it was real or not, we kept in touch, tried to forget him, went through the ugly phases of jealousy and suspicion but never shared that with him. online i'd find similar yuma/cubano stories of 'kindness, generosity, never asking for anything, special feelings, public displays of affection' so naturally i thought i was prey. by six months I booked two weeks to see him, we spent everyday together almost all hours and had lots of downtime to reflect. we never went out drinking/smoking/partying. we went to church twice. We are very compatible-in cuba. He still hasn't mentioned wanting to leave Cuba, his dearest mother said i should live in cuba for 6 months, he wishes i were a cuban. he wants to move back to his home town with his parents, and he winces at the thought of 'marriage' as I do just to get to know each other. He's also encouraged I not visit him until next summer for a month when the tourist industry is down and he can take time off work. this seemed suspicious to me but clearly he needs to make money, doesn't want me spending resort prices in high season, and prefers we spend more time in his hometown. I'm glad i made the trip because i experienced things with him that cannot be taken away by anybody. I lost a lot while there, and wasn't treated so nicely by a lot of people and strangers, and he was there to help me through.. he saw ppl hurt me and he was there for me like a true boyfriend, lol....

Sep 19, 2009
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I WOULD SAY FAKE LOVE
by: Cayman Islands

To all of those young/mature men or women who thinks they have found true love in Cuba, you had better be careful. The Cubans that you think do not ask you for anything and being very nice are being just like a cat to a mouse. The word is called "Prey" When it comes to being crafty with relationships you definately cannot be better than a Cuban, unless you are another Cuban.
Any foreign woman is a "Prey" in Cuba if you go looking for love. Dont do it!. Go to have a great time, meet friends. Dont let them believe that you have a big job and plenty of money in your country, even if you do. You will become "Prey" and you cannot have any more patience than a Cuban. If you marry to one, and take him to your country, every day you wake up and see him still there with you , you will have to thank God, because he will slip away in the middle of the night while you are sleeping.

My advise is do not go to Cuba looking for a love relationship. You will enjoy Cuba better, because for me it is one of the most beautiful places on earth, and I have been to many. I love the culture, I respect the Government and I see nothing wrong with the way they run the country. I adore Fidel Castro, and I named my oldest son Raul after his brother. I named my grandson Che, so you know how I like Cuba. I have studied much about the revolution and I appreciate every word I have read. My suggestions, upon visiting Cuba is to adopt a family like I did. This family of eight was very poor. Could not even afford a refrig. or TV. stove etc. Now they have those things. I travel to Cuba two or three times a year to assist them,and Send money to the pastor to give them weekly. If you can afford to move to Cuba to live, and find a relationship it will work better. Overseas relationships never work. Believe me. God bless.

Sep 18, 2009
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continue.. i understand how you feel
by: sweeti

tell me real or fake? he's never asked me for anything.. he has everything he's ever wanted his family is pretty wealthy for being in cuba cause i guess its because his dad works at the resort and tips pay off well!! and he's grampa is in the usa and his uncle is in canada..so they send him money all the time... now i got to talking to his uncle in canada cause he wanted me to get to know him.. or maybe just to see what his uncle thinks of me.. and his uncle told me... you know i have found girls to marry him to get him here but he will not accept it.. i dont know why?! anyways.. this is super long (sorry) but i just want to know real or fake.?

Sep 18, 2009
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continue.. i understand how you feel
by: Anonymous

anyways the four nights were awesome got to live like a cuban.. food fantastic... then we headed back to guardalvaca... ok 11 hr car ride with no music cause the radio was busted.. and no cd's damn did we ever get to know eachother cause all we had to do was talk!! get back to guadalavaca and the best trip of my life i have to say.. i fell for him hard after that trip.. i felt like i have known him for years... i stayed with his family a lot... i got to speak with his mom and dad.. they know quite a bit of english considering his dad works at the hotel.. anyways.. last day there his mom cried.. said she would miss me and that i am always welcome back whenever... needless to say the goodbye was painful and 2 weeks back i booked another trip im leaving in one week...

Sep 18, 2009
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I understand your situation
by: sweeti

i was in cuba for my very first time in april, and the first night i was there i swore to my gf that i dont like foreigners so i probably wont hook up with anyone!! she went down there for someone.. anyways, the first night there i meet a guy... shy, quiet, and just non schilant.. so i sat and talked to him cause my other two gf's were all over the other ones... we talked and talked all night til about 5 in the morning... so for that whole week we hung out went to disco's together and just got to know eachother!! i also told my gf, even if i do end up hooking up with a cuban itll just be a fling... nothing special, just for fun... so i totally thought that way until i got on the bus and was home for a few days... i found myself thinking hard about this man... and the last day he gave me his email address just in case i felt like contacting him.. i said to him haha you probably do this all the time... and he said you know what im not going to lie... i do meet up with a lot of tourist but for some reason you stand out from the rest of them... please email me.. if you don't oh well life goes on right?! i was like right!! anyways so i emailed him just saying thanks for making my trip an excellent one!! and he replied... "your welcome... but for some reason i can not stop thinking about you... i told you . you stand out A LOT we talked like i have never talked with other girls... i am not a sweet talking person so dont think i am going to say all these things too you, its just i wanted you to know that i have not stopped thinking about you." so obviously me being curious cause my heart is telling me to do so... i emailed him back.... and we emailed back and forth then i decided to call him... and so i booked another trip in july.. this time for 2 weeks... he is on the national team for windsurfing and the weeks that i was coming fell on a very important competition. and the competition was in matanzas and he was there for training and all that but still stopped everything to come meet me in holguin guardalavaca. this is the thing though... because there was no planes to get there on the right date, he hitch hiked took him almost 2 days to get there in the middle of his training, and his dad was super pist at him but he still came!! once i arrived the next day we left for matanzas and stayed in matanzas for 4 nights for his competition. he introduced me to EVERYONE.. his coaches.. team mates.. school friends.... it was awkward but i have never felt so special in my life!!

Aug 02, 2009
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Dont trust them.
by: Anonymous

I believe no matter where you come from, you do what you need to to survive in your environment.The system in Cuba forces people into being cheats and liars of the worst kind. I'm 25 year old woman that has been in a relationship for a year+ with a 21 year old Cuban man. He seemed wonderful & genuine and I fell in love with him.He did'nt meet me at a resort & didn't ask for anything. He seemed to always ensure I was never ripped off by others while I was there. He even took me home to know his family who I stayed with often. It was just recently after I sent a cell phone and a few hundred dollars CUC , that I was told by my "boyfriend" that "the past year had been a big game and that he believes Canadian woman are all sluts..worth nothing". I could not have imagined I would ever hear such things from this man. I guess it happened now because he realized I was not going to marry him and that I was running low on money due to my 9 Cuba trips and phone bills last year. He played this game very well, and I did'nt see it coming. I am a young and good looking woman by any standards and never thought he could be using me especially because he knew I was a single mother and had been dealing with a lot in my life. I have a 3 year old child that he has been dying to know. He made love to me like it was real, once in a while we had little arguments like a couple, I thought we had a real experiences and adventures and beautiful moments and struggles, but they apparently were all created as part of the illusion.. I was nothing but good to him and his family and sacrificed so much to be with him, and all along he just wanted to take what little money I had. I feel so stupid and devastated and am so angry that he tried to involve my son in his sick game. I am normally very perceptive and never could have imagined he would turn out to be like all the cuban men in the stories I have heard. He was perfect..The minute he felt he got all he could from me he tried to break up with me by saying I was with other men, When I defended my self he said "OK you want the truth, this whole thing was a game, woman of your country are worth nothing and I finally admit to you after all this time that what we have is not real" you are just like all the others. The man that said these words was not the man I have known for the past year, he was a heartless monster. I know many Cubans feel they need to do this to get ahead and justify it in many ways but it doesn't take away from the devastation I feel right now.I was always so happy when ever I had enough money to buy gifts for he and his family, I did it out of love and never was asked. Thats part of the charm, you fall in love and want to help...they dont need to ask. Mine was not different than the stories and if I could have been fooled, so can you. Don't trust them. And FYI; THE MOTHERS ARE IN ON IT! YES, THAT SWEET WOMAN HE TAKES YOU HOME TO MEET, TRAINED HER SON TO DO THIS OR AT LEAST ENCOURAGE IT!

Aug 02, 2009
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Dont trust them.
by: Anonymous

I believe no matter where you come from, you do what you need to to survive in your environment.The system in Cuba forces people into being cheats and liars of the worst kind. I'm 25 year old woman that has been in a relationship for a year+ with a 21 year old Cuban man. He seemed wonderful & genuine and I fell in love with him.He did'nt meet me at a resort & didn't ask for anything. He seemed to always ensure I was never ripped off by others while I was there. He even took me home to know his family who I stayed with often. It was just recently after I sent a cell phone and a few hundred dollars CUC , that I was told by my "boyfriend" that "the past year had been a big game and that he believes Canadian woman are all sluts..worth nothing". I could not have imagined I would ever hear such things from this man. I guess it happened now because he realized I was not going to marry him and that I was running low on money due to my 9 Cuba trips and phone bills last year. He played this game very well, and I did'nt see it coming. I am a young and good looking woman by any standards and never thought he could be using me especially because he knew I was a single mother and had been dealing with a lot in my life. I have a 3 year old child that he has been dying to know. He made love to me like it was real, once in a while we had little arguments like a couple, I thought we had a real experiences and adventures and beautiful moments and struggles, but they apparently were all created as part of the illusion.. I was nothing but good to him and his family and sacrificed so much to be with him, and all along he just wanted to take what little money I had. I feel so stupid and devastated and am so angry that he tried to involve my son in his sick game. I am normally very perceptive and never could have imagined he would turn out to be like all the cuban men in the stories I have heard. He was perfect..The minute he felt he got all he could from me he tried to break up with me by saying I was with other men, When I defended my self he said "OK you want the truth, this whole thing was a game, woman of your country are worth nothing and I finally admit to you after all this time that what we have is not real" you are just like all the others. The man that said these words was not the man I have known for the past year, he was a heartless monster. I know many Cubans feel they need to do this to get ahead and justify it in many ways but it doesn't take away from the devastation I feel right now.I was always so happy when ever I had enough money to buy gifts for he and his family, I did it out of love and never was asked. Thats part of the charm, you fall in love and want to help...they dont need to ask. Mine was not different than the stories and if I could have been fooled, so can you. Don't trust them. And FYI; THE MOTHERS ARE IN ON IT! YES, THAT SWEET WOMAN HE TAKES YOU HOME TO MEET, TRAINED HER SON TO DO THIS OR AT LEAST ENCOURAGE IT!

Jul 22, 2009
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true love or ... 4 Jamiela
by: Anonymous

I have been dating a Cuban (long distance) for a little over 1 year and my story started similar as yours. Now - here is my advice for you:

If he introduces you to his family he does have an interest in you. "love at first sight"? I guess yes. Is it genuine? Strong enough to get married? time will tell.

Assuming you fall for him you will have to be careful. NOT because Cubans lie or are bad people (the opposite). BUT: The Can. Gov. will not grant visitor visas to anyone under 70 years (they r considered to be "young enough" to start over + not return to Cuba). So- if u want to get to know your boyfriend the Canadian Government will make you marry him first. U can get to know him when he gets to Canada with your sponsorhip;-)
Back 2 my story:
- monthly phone bill iaverages C$ 600 p.m.
- trips to Cuba approx CAD 6000 p.a.

If u decide to date him long distance watch out for the following:

- you should be able to call him any time. If his sim card is empty a spanish message will tell that there are insufficient funds. "apagado" means his cell is turned off.
- if he speaks English with you and avoids the words "mi corazon, amor, mi vida etc."
- If you call him and he is with a group of friends and he steps out on the street or in another room to talk to you (could be he is with his Cuban girl or anyone she knows) Unless it is a very noisy disco he should be able to hear you ok.
- he has a lot of nice clothes and/or dresses much like the guys over here (it might come from another tourist lady friend). Cuban men will never ask for anything but some tourist ladies feel obliged to "bring" them small gifts for "showing them around" etc.

In general Cubans (both males and females) are extremely charming, outgoing and make friends easily. Most Cubans want to leave the island even though they will not tell you right away (my boyfriend told me after 3 months). They will never say that they want to leave - it will be put "I want to be with you, I love you so much and it does not matter in which country you live -as long as I am with you". Cubans that do want to leave Cuba usually "keep their options open" e.g. have multiple friends that will visit them on a frequent basis and bring gifts (jeans, couture clothing, running shoes, DVD players, ipods etc.) For us little stuff but in Cuba more expensive and sometimes hard to get.

my Cuban friend (female) told me that Cuban women refuse to give the father's name on their babies birth certificate in order to not ruin the men's chances to marry a tourist.

If you decide to quit your job and move down to Cuba for a while:
- your maximum stay allowed is 60 days
- if you are married to a Cuban there is a one year visa but it will be hard for you to leave Cuba (you need an exit permit from the Cuban Government).

Good luck and enjoy your trip. Hope u will come back to Canada WITH your heart - otherwise lots of bureaucracy.

May 27, 2009
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I know how your feeling!
by: Anonymous

I just got back from Cuba for the first time and I am in love with people and the country. I als met someone while I was there. He's amazing I have been home a week and we keep emailing each other and we have also spoken twice in one week. I want to go back in July to see him. He has not asked for anything we have been honest about all of our past's everything seema gret to me. Am I being Naive I don't think so. I am pretty level headed all the time and know how the world turns. I say you go in july and enjoy yourself because that's exactly what I am going to do. Good Luck!!

May 23, 2009
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MORE ON TRUE OR FAKE LOVE IN CUBA
by: Twyla Vargas

Sincerely if I had to choose I would say Fake Love.
Telling you that they love you is like saying give me a glass of water. Easy. Now think about it this man is 34 years old just married and just divorced. Shouldnt that tell you something. You had better check that out carefully my girl.

I was in a relationship with a Cuban before. He lied from the very first day we met. After a while I decided to pay a visit to Cuba and found that he had a prison sentence for 6 years. He lied about that. He introduced me to a lady friend who encouraged me to be his friend and that he was a nice person. After spending a month in Cuba the lady friend used to visit my apartment every day until I was told by one of the neighbours that it was His woman whom he lived with for 3 years. He denied it, and swore that it was a lie. Eventually the woman told me the truth, Yes she was. What do you think about that. Dont be confined when you go to Cuba, exhale and enjoy yourself. It is a beautiful place, and I love Cuba more than my own country. But to believe in love. I dont think so.

May 19, 2009
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TRUE OR FAKE LOVE IN CUBA
by: Twyla Vargas

Comments: True love, Be very careful,

Dear Friend,
I have read your concerns, and do wish you luck. My suggestions is to keep a level head if you are a smart person. If you are not you will be fooled.
I believe Cubans can love, but their love is not like our love. We marry and love for better or worse, Richer or poorer, till death do us part.
Cubans do not think the same way. Especially the younger men, they are not as ambicious as the women, and looks for women to support them. Mind you they will be close to you, and give you more love than you could ever want, but eventually a price will be paid.
That is nothing alarming that your cuban boyfriend has not asked you for favours. They normally do not do that, but you as a visitor feels that you are obligated to return the love in some way or the other. It usually becomes material. I would say stay level headed and do not be fooled by the "Ilove you" It is an easy word for a Cuban to say, without having any deep meaning to it. Enjoy an adventure if that is what you are looking for, otherwise please be careful. I always travel to Cuba, sometimes 5 or 6 times a year. I have a Cuban friend for 4 years. When I ment him he did not want to work. I literally had to force him to get a job. Now he is working and enjoying it. I am very nice to him and visit his family four or five times a year staying for periods of 2 months, but trust him to fall in love with him No. After 4 years I am still keeping a level head.

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